Vacationing with Friends

Posted on August 29, 2012 | 3 comments

The kids never fought!!

We recently returned from a glorious week in Martha’s Vineyard with two other families. Our rented house was brimming with people, including 6 adults and 8 kids (ages 6-13.) We had never traveled with these families before but we got lucky because everyone got along swimmingly, making the week relaxing and fun.

View of Vineyard Haven from the ferry

There are many advantages to going away with other families. It was much cheaper to split our house, food, and activities three ways. The kids had constant and varied playmates to entertain them, and it made the tone of the trip seem more like an endless party (or week-long sleepover as the kids called it.)

We fed the kids first every night

Obviously everyone is unique and has different vacation expectations so this Brady- Bunch-goes-to-Hawaii set up is not for those who demand privacy, quiet and autonomy.  Sometimes it’s a bonus to have someone else make decisions about meals and daily plans. I loved not having the pressure to plan dinner every night. That also meant that we didn’t always do or eat what would have been my first choice. But for us, the positives well outweighed the drawbacks.

Always someone to talk to but we read too

Our old house was a typical island summer home—nice enough to feel clean and upgraded, but also featured sandy floors, funky closet smells, and the weakest water pressure I’ve ever experienced. But we didn’t care about any of that because it was 50 yards from a private beach overlooking Lambert’s Cove. There was a bluff hanging over the shore with Adirondack chairs and a hammock that were so inviting I started to consider whether I could make it through a cold, lonely Vineyard winter just to stay forever.

(The day we left, 6-year-old Eli told me he wanted to spend first grade at the house in MV and come back to Jersey for second grade.  It was difficult to dash his dreams.)

Sharing a cocktail and a view

Most nights we gathered on the bluff with drinks and sweatshirts to watch the sun sink into the sea and life was good.

Sunset swimming

There were a few moments in the middle of all the chaos, when I actually missed my family. The boys all crammed into one room in a separate part of the house so I never even tucked them in at night. I felt like I hadn’t spoken to 9-year-old Aden in days and 12-year-old Jacob was in “cool” mode in front of friends and the two 13-year-old girls with us so we didn’t get to bond as we have on other vacations.

Eli did his best to keep up with the big kids and often was the center of attention with his funny comments and dramatic outbursts. I hope he was as entertaining to our friends as he usually is to us.

Eli clutches live lobsters before steaming

Would I cram into a small house with 14 loud, opinionated people on a woodsy island again?

As sure as the sun sets over Vineyard Sound, I’d do it next year in a heartbeat.

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Posted in Travel

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Joys of Parenting: It’s the Little Things

Posted on August 21, 2012 | 3 comments

Some days your kids disappoint/frustrate/infuriate you and bring out your worst self. Other days they bring home this:

by Eli, age 6.

In case you needed translation (I did):

I love my Mommy because:

She helps me.

She takes care of me.

She makes me dinner.

She carries me.

She loves me back.

I was an English major in college but this is the most beautiful poem I’ve ever read. It now lives in my kitchen and when I look at it, I’m reminded of why we do what we do and why every last bit is worth it.

Enjoy your kids today.

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Posted in I'm a Sap, Joys of Parenting

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Birthday Wishes on Facebook Are Lame!

Posted on August 17, 2012 | 10 comments

May I vent for a moment? (What’s a blog for if not to vent.)

Social media is a useful tool and I’ve reconnected with many friends (and random people I don’t care about) on Facebook. But I’ve had it with the Facebook birthday wishes.

Back in the day, when you wanted to wish a friend good tidings on his/her birthday you had to buy a card and/or make a phone call.

Now all you have to do is sign on to Facebook and move an eyeball to the right corner of the page and your computer will spoon-feed you the birthdays of all your “friends.”

I started thinking about the unspoken hierarchy of ways to offer birthday wishes and came up with this:

—Personal visit  (Rare but special and may or may not involve gift-giving.)

—Phone call (Personal and requires time, effort and thought.)

—Mailing a card  ( You thought about your friend ahead of time and like him/her enough to do an extra errand to buy a card and a stamp.)

—Sending an email  (You didn’t think ahead but did remember on your own and want to send a personal message tailored to the receiver.)

—Sending an e-card   (For last-minute-Charlie’s who forgot to send a card but want to acknowledge you. At least they took the time to join Blue Mountain and pick those cute cartoon dancing animals. )

—Posting on Facebook wall  (For any schmo you’ve known since grammar school, or worked with 5 years ago, or see at your kids’ school events, who has a finger to click a mouse.)

Facebook birthday wishes take no thought at all. In fact, most Facebook wishes probably happen because that person was already on Facebook inappropriately flirting with an ex, posting flattering self-portraits, or promoting something (I plead guilty to that) and saw the birthday reminder on the home screen and deemed you worthy of a shout out.

As a policy, I don’t wish people happy birthday on Facebook because I don’t want to be one among scores of people piling on, and I prefer to send my salutations in a more personal way.

For those of you who want to hollah at me on my special day, I beg you to send me an email or give me a call. Don’t wish me a happy birthday on Facebook and think that if it’s followed by three exclamation points instead of one, I’ll know you really care.

Plus then I’ll have to send a big , fake “Thank you! I feel the love!” to all the slackers who contributed to the birthday comments. I hate that.

The best gift you could get me (but not til next April) would be to comment on my blog. Then I’ll know you care enough to read the very best.

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Posted in Modern Life, Pop Culture Trends, Social Media

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Celebrity Couple Scoop is a Myth

Posted on August 17, 2012 | 1 comment

I’m a pop culture fan and fascinated by celebrities, so I love gossip magazines and entertainment shows as much as the next gal (or guy who’s willing to admit it.) But the recent furor over personal details of celebrity couples’ relationships  is getting out of hand.

First, there was Tom and Katie.

Yes, it was huge news. The speed with which the divorce was handled (less than a month?!) and his strict Scientology faith made the story intriguing.  We’d all like to know what goes on in the Cruise home but getting that story would be mission impossible. Somehow Tom has put a tight lid on all those close to him so the public doesn’t know the answers to a myriad of questions we have about his personal life.

Yet there are all the tabloids, week after week– touting “insider details” of the split. I’m sure there’s some non-disclosure clause that Katie signed that guarantees her a pile of dough if she keeps mum. I don’t think we’ll ever know that whole story, and maybe we can’t handle the truth.

from telegraph.co.uk

Actress Kristen Stewart apparently cheated on Robert Pattinson with her older, married director, dashing the hopes of millions of “Twilight” fans pulling for a real life happy ending. It’s scandalous and sad for Twi-hards who follow their every move.

This week Twitter was blowing up and show producers were salivating over Robert’s first media interview since the epic split.  Pattinson appeared on “the Daily Show,” where Jon Stewart set the tone by offering him a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia and some girl talk to help him through the breakup.

As Stewart pointed out– although his show has hosted rockers, movie stars, and presidents– it had never before had the enormous crowd of screaming fans and rows of overweight paparazzi camped outside that night, all waiting for a glimpse of the jilted lover.

Pattinson– who, in the interest of privacy,  had barely acknowledged the couple was dating for the last several years–  briefly referenced the break up and moved on to promoting his new movie. Those vampire lips are sealed and any tidbit the relentless media gets on that relationship will be suspect.

This headline says it all. In the same week that Jennifer Aniston and boyfriend Justin Thereaux got engaged, Star magazine proclaimed the relationship done in a cover story clearly filled with false information.

I’m a fan of Jen’s style and comedic talent and have wanted her to be happy since Brad broke her heart and then John Mayer stomped all over it. I was glad to hear she’s engaged, but I’m ready to move on with my life.

I don’t need the play-by-play of the proposal, which family members and friends she told first, or whether the news was timed to coincide with Brangelina’s much anticipated wedding. Ick! Leave the gal alone and let her enjoy her moment.

Our celebrity-obsessed society has made chasing these stories an Olympic sport.   I’m not sure who is fueling the interest. My favorite part of the lifestyle mags is the photos in the first few pages to see who’s with who, where they’re going, and what they’re wearing. I like People because it still has some journalistic integrity and doesn’t seem to make up gossip as much as the others.

But there must me millions out there who regularly visit the gossip well and drink the KoolAid because the celebrity magazines and websites keep dishing it out, regardless of whether it’s true. How can any self-respecting person continue to read Star after such a blatant error?

We’ll never know what really happened in these celebrity relationships and I’m ok with that. It’s none of our business.

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Posted in Celebrity Happenings, Fallen celebs, In the News, Pop Culture Trends

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New Dictionary Words: The F-Bomb Finally Gets Respect

Posted on August 15, 2012 | 1 comment

The good people who produce Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary have added 100 new words and expressions to their tome this week.

One of the best parts of writing is finding the perfect word for what I want to say. Doesn’t always happen, but I love the thrill of the hunt.

Many of the notable additions to our modern vocabulary are phrases now so commonly used, they warrant a spot in the most popular English dictionary. For 114 years, Webster’s has been studying words and how we use them. There are actual word detectives who do exhaustive research for years on where words start and how often they’re used in media, conversation, even on food labels.

Here are some of my favorite phrases of Webster’s 2012 edition. You may be surprised at the years they originated:

bucket list n (2006): Once it’s a movie starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman it’s gotta get a place in the dictionary.

cloud computing n (2006): The Geek Squad must be thrilled about this one.

earworm n (1802) : a song or melody that keeps repeating in one’s mind. This is a new one to me but I love it! Made popular by Stephen King when he wrote about waking up in the night with a song in his head that just wouldn’t leave.

energy drink n (1904): Can’t believe it took so long to make this one official. My kids have been guzzling Gatorade– claiming it gives them energy– for years.

e-reader n (1999):  I would not have believed an e-reader was possible in 1999 but now everyone I know has one.

life coach n (1986): Life coaches everywhere are breathing deeply and making a conscious decision to feel good about their now legitimized profession.

f-bomb n (1988): Apparently New York Mets catcher Gary Carter mentioned this delightful idiom in an interview in the 80’s but recent political discourse had also established the term, with Dick Cheney dropping an “F-bomb” on the Senate floor in 2004. Classy.

aha moment– n (1939): Sorry Oprah, you didn’t coin this phrase but I’ll give you credit for making it mainstream.

flexitarian n (1998): one whose normally meatless diet occasionally includes meat or fish…In other words, a picky eater with a built-in excuse.

man cave n (1992): Interior designers everywhere are collectively shuddering that the term has an official definition.

sexting n (2007):  The term’s only 5 years old, yet look how far it’s come and how much damage it’s caused.

tipping point n (1959): Thanks Malcolm Gladwell!

underwater adj (1672)  The definition for this new usage: having, relating to, or being a mortgage loan for which more is owed than the property securing the loan is worth. Sad reality of our present financial frailty.

brain cramp n (1982): What does this mean again?
Any words you think should be added next year? Tell me in the comments.

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I’m So Over the Olympics (But I Still Love America)

Posted on August 12, 2012 | 4 comments

Olympics closing ceremonies? Are the games done already? Say it ain’t so!

What I really mean is…..WOOHOO!!!!!

I no longer have to pretend I care about medal counts, beach volleyball, or Ryan Lochte. My TV won’t be clogged up with athletic feats by superhuman people who make my 4-mile runs and yoga classes seem like the hobbies of a lazy slob.  Perhaps now people at work and parties and the grocery store will forget about Michael Phelps’ gold rush and the triumph of women’s soccer.

I’m not a sports fan to begin with so two solid weeks of sports — some as obscure as judo, synchronized swimming, and water polo– is Olympic overload. (Entertainment Weekly’s site had a funny article about WTF sports in the Olympics you can check out here.)

I live in a virtual locker room with three little jocks led by one giant sports fan. If I can’t grab onto anything regarding baseball, football, or basketball at home, it would be insane to think track and field or badminton would hold my attention. I know there’s the drama of getting to know the athletes’  back stories before watching them attempt five minutes of excellence after years of training. While I like drama, it doesn’t make me care about the competition.

I did enjoy the opening ceremonies– especially Paul McCartney belting out “Hey Jude” and thousands of people echoing his na na na’s. I also admit to  enjoying the U.S. kick ass in gymnastics.  Those girls were perfection.

But the rest of it I could leave.

I’ve felt this way for the last two weeks but was afraid to say it out loud, fearing some government suit or sports-loving neighbor would come snatch my citizenship. Not liking the Olympics is like not liking the Tooth Fairy, or rainbows, or puppies. I hate being the killjoy so I’ve just been faking interest to get by.

But now the jig is up and I can go back to being my sports-spurning self. It’s liberating to have this space to vent. Anyone else want to admit something ? I promise not to judge– in fact I’ll give you a perfect 10 for honesty. Tell me in the comments. I’m all ears.

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Posted in In the News, My Little Jocks

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My Fantasy Celebrity Tell-All Books

Posted on August 9, 2012 | 3 comments

I read an article this week marking the 20th anniversary of the Woody Allen Soon-Yi Previn scandal. Can’t believe it’s been two decades since 56-year-old Woody fell hard for the adopted 21-year-old daughter of his longtime girlfriend, Mia Farrow.  It was smeared all over the New York papers and an ugly custody battle ensued, with a furious Farrow claiming Woody had sexually abused her other children. That was never proven but his relationships with his kids was never the same.

Woody’s lack of restraint seems a little twisted and extremely selfish but he and Soon-Yi  have been married for 15 years and have two kids of their own now so I guess it really is love.

I’d give up a regular table at Elaine’s to hear Soon-Yi’s version of that saga. That got me thinking about other celebrity memoirs I would love to read, if only they’d have the chutzpa to write them.

from schmoesknow.com

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Me (But Were Afraid To Ask)….  by Soon-Yi Previn  

What was it like to have a wrinkly, genius filmmaker wooing you behind your actress-mother’s back? Were there clandestine meetings in the pantry of their Manhattan co-op where Woody pleaded for kisses…or did he win her by making her laugh? What’s the attraction for them and how do they keep the spark when he’s now 76 and she’s 42? What’s it like to live with him? What kind of father is he? What’s her relationship with her mother like now? Soon-Yi we hardly knew ye. Give us a glimpse into life with Woody.

from zimbio.com

I’m the Boss….by Patti Scialfa.                                                               

We know very little about Patti and the family keeps a low profile, despite Bruce’s huge fanbase and touring schedule. What’s going on in that gingy’s mind? Tell me what it was like to fall in love with the Boss. Did he sing ” Fire” to you in bed? Is he as smart, sexy, deep, spiritual, and intense as he seems or does he have typical annoying habits that drive her crazy? When was their first kiss and how long did their affair go on before Bruce’s wife at the time — actress Julianne Philips–  find out? What kind of father is he? What kind of identity issues do you have when you’re a singer-songwriter living with one of the most popular and successful rockers of all time?  Are the rumors true about his cheating? Which songs does she love most and which make her skin crawl?  She seems like a creative, smart lady who probably has a lot to say. C’mon publishers– let’s make a deal!

Witness to History….. by Caroline Kennedy                                   

There’s been so much written about President John F. Kennedy’s family but wouldn’t it be fascinating to hear the last word from the last Kennedy left? Caroline Kennedy has managed to have a career and family, and use her political clout wisely, while staying under the radar.   The only time we see her is when she’s stumping for a cause she believes in, as she’s been doing for Obama this summer.  We don’t know her husband or her kids, or where she vacations or shops. That’s all by design. It seems her mother taught her all the best tricks to leading as normal a life as possible with one of the most famous names in the world. Caroline has written several best-selling books on history, poetry, and even one on the right to privacy.  She has the literary background and sensitive wisdom to tell a compelling tale about her take on historical events and the iconic people that touched her life.

These are just a few of the autobiographies I’d like to read. Which celeb books would pique your interest?  Tell me in the comments.

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Posted in Celebrity Happenings

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Top 7 Observations from BlogHer12

Posted on August 7, 2012 | 8 comments

Last week I attended my first blogging conference: BlogHer12.  What happens when you bring nearly 5,000 mouthy broads together to talk about what they do? You get a very loud room, for starters.

Martha Stewart and BlogHer co-founder Elisa Camahort at BlogHer12

BlogHer.com is a media company created by three savvy women, to help bring together and showcase female bloggers. It’s the largest community of women who blog, boasting 40 million unique visitors per month. The BlogHer.com site is a guide to the latest news and trends for women in social media and a publishing network of more than 3,000 blogs.

Each year it’s in a different city, but this year the 9th annual BlogHer conference was in Manhattan so it was a perfect opportunity to check it out without a huge commitment.

I loved everything about it.

I met interesting, smart, like-minded people who were eager to talk about many of my interests. I attended lectures where I got practical, business, and technical tips on how to improve my blog and get more people to read it. And I got a free vibrator!

Trojan really grabbed our attention!

While many bloggers were old-timers and knew how to work the conference, I was a rookie and wanted to experience as much as I could so I was moving nonstop, taking it all in, and making mental notes to share. I roped my blogger friend, Sandy (read her peachy parenting blog here)  into going with me and she was an amusing ally in this most excellent adventure.  Read on for details……

— Bloggers don’t shut up!  From the Newbie breakfast to the keynote speaker at lunch, to the crowded exhibition halls, it was sometimes difficult to hear because there were so many ladies chat-chat-chatting. One the plus side, everyone I met was  friendly and outgoing and I had no problem striking up conversation with strangers all day long.

The Expo Hall (of wonders)

—Bloggers are swag hags!  I was amazed at the elaborate setups companies had– carpeting, leather couches, music– and some set up entire stores inside the expo. Reusable bags were the most popular giveaway– I got at least 6– but they were doling out everything from water bottles to fake nails to stationary. You could eat and drink for free too– I had delicious cupcakes, cookies, and pretzels, and washed it down with a margarita.  Other businesses offered manicures, massages, and beauty consulting. When Martha Stewart spoke at lunch, she offered free digital subscriptions to all four of her magazines for a year! In exchange for the goods, the vendors want bloggers to write about their products and scanned our conference tags which gives them our email and blog information so they can follow us to see if our blogs can help their social media strategies.

Jamba Juice loves bloggers! 

Giant spoon @ Dannon yogurt booth

Complimentary massage for tired tootsies

Free manicures too!

Sandy & I go Greek trying Rickland Orchards Greek yogurt granola bar

—Social media experts don’t necessarily know how to engage people!  I went to several lectures led by people on a panel speaking about branding, social engagement, and media pitching who were so boring, we walked out. Some of the content was ok but the delivery was blah and they didn’t get the attendees involved.

—Bloggers like their salad!  The crowds were so large that at both breakfast  and lunch, there were no fruit, vegetables, or drinks left by the time I got to the buffet. The food– as you would expect at a conference of this size– was not great. You would think that with all the foody blogs out there someone would step up but alas, I had to settle for a tuna sandwich.

—Bloggers made me laugh and cry (it was better than “Cats.”) The Voices of the Year presentation was amazing. More than 1800 bloggers submitted posts for review in various categories, then BlogHer chooses 110 winners and 15  get to read their posts out loud. There were stories about parenting, death, poverty, identity, and politics that moved me and  several hilarious humor bits that made me laugh until I cried.  The talented and absorbing writers made me want to run to my computer and get cracking. I was also inspired hearing the international activists speak. These were four women– who BlogHer sponsored to attend the conference– who risk their lives every day by blogging about their opposition to government and/or society standards in their developing countries. Hearing about how bloggers from Haiti, Sudan, Philippines, and Zimbabwe have evoked real change in women’s lives in their countries reminded me of the power of new media.

http://averagemomswearcapes.com/ blogger keeping it real

—Bloggers are a random bunch!  I exchanged business cards with many strangers and I was shocked at the wide array of topics people blog about. I figured I’d meet mostly mom, food, and beauty bloggers but I also encountered these:

littlelunchnotes.com – creative, adorable lunch notes to put in your kids’ lunchbox every day, using beautiful paper, jokes, and pictures.

madeinusachallenge.com – great buying resource as it highlights products made in the USA and companies that make them.

 frugalflip.com – tips on how to live on a budget in a big city.

—Bloggers are influential. Nearly 5,000 sharp, driven women (and a handful of men) got themselves to New York to be a part of this conference. Each blog can reach hundreds to millions of people. That translates to huge business opportunities for companies who want to get a product or message across to media-savvy people using a modern platform. President Obama opened the conference with a 15-minute address –via internet of course– talking about the importance of women’s issues in this election and creating positive role models for young women like his daughters. Martha Stewart was the keynote speaker Friday and Katie Couric spoke on Saturday. Those are some pretty heavy hitters. Bloggers get respect!

Overall the conference was well-organized, informative and fun. I made great contacts and learned a lot. One of the tips I took away was the importance of a blog Facebook page.  I’ll let you know as soon as it’s up so you can become a CarpoolCandy.com Facebook fan!

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Posted in Social Media, Top 7 Lists, Working Mom Adventures

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Putting my Shopping Skills to Good Use

Posted on August 5, 2012 | 1 comment

Although it would have been a perfect day to hit the beach, I was happy to spend the morning in a crowded room full of eager and generous adults and exuberant children, as a volunteer at the NCJW Back 2 School Store in New Jersey.

The Back 2 School Store in Northern NJ

I wrote a column for AOL’s Patch.com on this terrific event back in 2010, explaining what happens on this special day every August. Rather than repeat myself, you can check it out here.

Now in its 4th year, the Store is run like a well-oiled machine, despite the organizational complexities of planning and executing the event. This year, the NCJW serviced more than 500 children. There are 300+  volunteers to coordinate and scores of jobs to assign, but I’ve rarely seen an army of helpers as excited and hungry to help.

It’s because the energy of the children is infectious. They’re so thrilled when they see the tables teeming with colorful backpacks, clothes, and supplies. They love admiring themselves in the mirror in their new outfits. I helped one 5 year-old boy today who loved his new sneakers so much he wore them out of the store, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

The three kids I led around the Store were so grateful for everything they received. It reminded me of how little it takes sometimes to make a child happy. I’ll take 500 smiling kids over the beach any day.

If you want more info on all the great work NCJW does, check out their website at http://www.ncjwessex.org/.

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Posted in Modern Life

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Life’s a Beach

Posted on July 31, 2012 | 5 comments

Today was one of those days where I had a choice and I picked the right one.

Between attending dozens of my kids’ baseball games and my new part-time job, I haven’t had much down time in weeks.  Today was the first day in a while I planned to catch up on errands, phone calls, emails, and blogging. I was all set to get to it when a friend called to ask if I wanted to go to the beach.

I could have been responsible and stayed home to get my work done and my house organized….or I could swim in the ocean. We hadn’t been to the beach all summer. I packed the cooler and towels and 12-year-old Jacob and I headed to Seabright, New Jersey.

It was a perfect day.

First I dug my feet in the sand.

Then I watched our boys play football and frolic in the water as the sun warmed my back and a gentle, warm breeze ruffled my magazine.

After several contented hours, we watched the sun sink slowly and decided we needed a seafood spread. We love Moby’s Deck in the Atlantic Highlands, where you eat at picnic tables overlooking the water and the fish is fresh and the beer is cold.  This is what I ate:

After dinner, we completed the idyllic day with homemade ice cream from Napoli Boys  in Belford. I highly recommend the black raspberry. I had a cone and Jacob had a flurry.

Sure, I stayed up late posting this blog and my to-do list is teeming, but I have no regrets. Swimming in the ocean peels years off and makes me feel like a squealing kid again. The sun and sea air nourished my soul. Conversation with good friends and seeing Jacob happy with his pals brought me joy.

The kids have a new expression (or maybe it’s old but new to me): YOLO, meaning “you only live once.”  Today was a YOLO kind of day.

What’s stopping you from taking a YOLO day? Take one before summer evaporates into fall.  What would you do? Who would you take? Tell me in the comments and then make it happen!

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Posted in Joys of Parenting, Kids and Food, Travel

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