Tooth Fairy Fiasco

Posted on April 2, 2012 | 6 comments

My kids tend to lose their teeth late so my six-year-old, Eli, was uber-excited when he lost his first two this month. When the illustrious tooth fairy brought him $5 for his first lost tooth, he was giddy. After his older brother, Jacob, knocked out Eli’s second loose tooth with an elbow to the mouth in basketball, through gushing blood, Eli didn’t even cry. All he was thinking about was his next tryst with the tooth fairy.

We warned him that his brothers had only received a dollar for each tooth they lost after the first one. Eli was not discouraged.  He wrote a note to the tooth fairy to politely ask for $20 for this special second tooth. He placed the note under his pillow with the tooth in a Ziploc bag and fell asleep, undoubtedly dreaming of all the ways to spend his bicuspid bucks…. (mounds of candy? Star Wars Legos? Justin Bieber tickets?)

At 1:18am Wilson and I heard Eli screaming and sobbing as he made his way into our room. He was so hysterical, we thought surely he had been stabbed or saw a ghost in his room. We tried to calm him as we patted him down for injuries and repeatedly asked what was wrong. He apparently had woken up in the night and breathlessly searched his pillow and bed for his dental dowry. The note and tooth were gone, a dollar bill in their place.

Giant tears splashed down Eli’s face and his body shuddered as he described the horror of the missing note and the wrongness of the measly dollar. He was certain the note had been lost or destroyed before the tooth fairy ever saw it. Since she never saw the note, she was not aware of his deep desire for that 20 spot.

As he continued to bawl and pound the pillow with his fists (he has a flair for drama) I wondered –in my tired stupor– whether we had failed to teach him the value of money. When he couldn’t be consoled with reason, I asked him why the money was so important and what he planned to do with it. He could not give a satisfactory answer, except to express his profound disappointment in the tooth fairy legend.

After 45 minutes of cajoling and backrubs, he finally fell asleep. When he woke in the morning, he came bounding into our room, fired up to show us a second dollar he said he must have missed the first time. With $2 in hand, he skipped downstairs for breakfast as if the tooth fairy fiasco had never happened. I asked Wilson if he had snuck in to remedy the situation, but he had not. I certainly didn’t pad the pillow.

We still aren’t sure how Eli came up with the second dollar. Maybe he pinched it from his own piggy bank. It would be just like him to take control of the happy ever after to his own fairy tale.

If not, I’ll have to start believing in that sneaky tooth fairy again….

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Posted in Kids and Money

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Wishful Thinking: My Top 7 Lottery Splurges

Posted on March 30, 2012 | 6 comments

 

I don’t usually play the lottery because I ‘m not a gambler. But I am a joiner so today I bought myself three lottery tickets. You have to be in it to win it, right?

Of course I have a better chance of getting my own talk show than I have of winning the $640 million jackpot– but when it gets this big, I like to take a chance and be a part of the lotto mania.

I bought one ticket for each of my three boys (ages 6, 8, and 12) and immediately began mentally planning all the ways I would spend the money.  Any  winner has to get an attorney and think carefully about how to invest the windfall. After putting enough money in the bank for my kids’ and grandkids’ college funds, paying off my house, and giving a nice sum to several charities, I would want to splurge. Here’s what immediately comes to mind:

1. A beach house with at least six bedrooms close enough to hear and smell the ocean and big enough to invite friends and family for weekends and parties.

2. A vintage Mercedes convertible and a pair of expensive sunglasses.   ( No car seats!)

3.  A Mac book for me and iPads for Wilson and all the boys.

4.  Shopping sprees for me, my mother, and two friends at Barney’s and Anthropologie for clothes, Christian LouBoutin for shoes,  and Gucci for bags.

5. An interior designer and credit line at ABC Carpet and Home.

6. Orchestra seats to every show and concert I’ve wanted to see for years and season tickets to the Mets and Giants for Wilson and the boys.

7. A safari trip in Africa with our extended family.

I’ve seen a plethora of news stories this week telling the woeful tales of past  mega winners who lost it all or were more miserable than before they hit the jackpot. Those stories are comforting to the millions of losers who won’t win tonight. But until disappointment hits, a girl can dream can’t she?

Hey, you never know.

What’s on your lottery splurge list? Tell me in the comments. Happy dreaming!

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Charlie Sheen on “Today”: Comeback or Comedown?

Posted on March 29, 2012 | 4 comments

Does Charlie Sheen bleed caffeine?

The reliably unstable actor went on the “Today” show this morning to promote his new FX sitcom, “Anger Management” and prove once again that he’s still a little nutty.

Charlie Sheen talking on "Today"/NBC

I was tense and uncomfortable watching the live interview. Charlie couldn’t sit still as he answered Matt Lauer’s questions about his past erratic behavior. Looking pale and sweaty, he squirmed in his seat, repeatedly touched his face, shifted his head around, and fidgeted with his tie.  Watch it here.

Compared to his past rants, Charlie was less scary and more charming as he evaded several tough questions with jokes and went off on rambling tangents.

When Lauer asked him about a recent incident where he was caught on tape answering questions while intoxicated, he tried to laugh it off. Lauer later suggested drinking was probably not a good option for someone recovering from drug addiction. Charlie seemed to balk at traditional 12-step programs, saying “I have different theories about the whole thing….I don’t believe in that whole fiction that they insist you have an allegiance to… but that’s just me. “

Granted, there were no outbursts, or references to goddesses and tiger’s blood. There’s no doubt Charlie’s in a better place than he was a year ago, but he still needs help. He seems unwilling to face his real problems and commit to sobriety. It’s a battle he doesn’t seem to be “winning.”

Sheen’s ironic turn as a therapist with emotional issues in “Anger Management” premieres in June. Regardless of the show’s quality, FX must surely be counting on an early ratings boost as curious viewers  (and voyeurs) like me tune in to see what he’ll do next.

Am I being too harsh? Watch the interview and let me know if you think he’s charismatic or cuckoo.

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Posted in Fallen celebs

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Kids Wasting Money

Posted on March 26, 2012 | 7 comments

I must have been some kind of war survivor in a past life because I hate waste. Most people, in theory, don’t like to squander, but I’ll go to great lengths to avoid it.

You would know that from a gander in my fridge, where there are several condiment bottles standing upside down with an inch left inside, and a dozen Tupperware containers filled with leftovers.

This does not translate to penny-pinching or miserly ways, mind you. I’ll still overpay for a handbag or a hot pair of shoes, but I’ll wear them until they disintegrate or find a new home.  I am a regular on the Vets used clothing/house items pick-up circuit, I recently hosted a successful clothing swap, and I am a chronic re-gifter.

I’m giving you some context so you understand my anger and frustration when my children waste.  It took me a while to be ok with my babies throwing unwanted food on the floor. By nature, toddlers are wasteful because they aren’t aware of the world around them. But by the time kids hit 7 or 8, can’t I expect some sense of responsibility and prudence?

Last week, 12-year-old Jacob got new sneakers because his were too small and he had worn through the toes. He picked a snazzy pair of Nikes with neon green details and laces.  All seemed well until the third day after purchase, when the new shoes were left clogging my hallway and the holey ones were back on his feet, with no discussion.

When pressed, he admitted he didn’t like the costly shoes he had chosen after trips to three stores. Who knows if someone at school made fun of the color or he just decided they were no longer cool, but those shoes are dead to him now.

My 8-year-old, Aden, is in a bad activity-quitting phase.  For years, he was my easy-going one who signed up for anything, regardless of whether friends were involved or he was familiar with the place or teacher. In the last few months, he has begged me to sign him up only to quit guitar and basketball.

Last weekend, I had RSVP-ed yes to a football fundraising party that all his friends were attending, yet he decided that morning he would rather pout than punt.  I told him he had made a commitment, I had paid for his ticket, and his brother was going so he was going. Despite my pleadings, the coach’s cajoling, and his friends’ inquiring, he dug his heels in and refused to play the whole time. I was annoyed but knew there was nothing I could say to make him play so I ignored his stunt and let it go.

What is a parent to do when a kid makes a decision and then changes his/her mind, and that choice costs money and effort? On the one hand, growing up is about learning to make good choices and we should give them room for mistakes.

But shouldn’t there be consequences to bad choices that cost money and time? I still have to buy Jacob shoes, so do I take the money out of his piggy bank? Do I punish Aden for not wanting to play football with his friends?

Both those penalties seem too harsh, and yet I’m still bitter about the waste. Please weigh in on this topic in the comments. Would love to hear what you think before I earn my title as meanest mommy ever, yet again.

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Posted in Kids and Money, Low Parenting Moments

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We like NBC’s “Bent”

Posted on March 22, 2012 | 2 comments

Wilson and I enjoy watching TV together after the kids go to bed.  It’s how we relax.  But Wilson doesn’t like new shows. He claims we have too many programs stacked up on the DVRs (yes, we have two because I am a show hoarder) and we should be reading more.

(A secret about Wilson: he is a closet intellectual and likes to read the great classics. Right now he’s in a Shakespeare phase and some nights would be happy to sit together and read “Othello” instead of watching “The Office.” I know, it’s crazy. )

But I digress. Each new season, I get excited to try shows that have buzz or involve some of my favorite writers and/or actors, but Wilson can be a curmudgeon about adding anything to our full repertoire. So imagine my delight when he suggested watching the new NBC comedy, “Bent.”  He read a review of the show and thought it sounded like its dry humor and quirky characters were in our wheelhouse.

The first two episodes were promising. Usually pilots suck, even if the show goes on to be a favorite (see ”Parenthood”) But “Bent” is special. It stars the stunning and talented Amanda Peet, who despite her fresh-faced beauty, also pulls off the hapless girl-next-door vibe….and David Walton, who –in his perfectly worn jeans and beat up leather jacket—is also mad handsome and exudes sex appeal.

"Bent"/NBC

Peet plays “Alex” — a divorced mom to a charming pre-teen daughter– who’s trying to keep it together after her cheating ex got sent to the slammer for insider trading. Walton is “Pete,” a surfing, drinking, philandering contractor who is building her a new kitchen while nosing in on her personal life.  The chemistry is palpable but it’s their clever, witty banter that makes the show work. I’m a sucker for smart writing and this show delivers.

Think “Scrubs” meets “30 Rock.“ We had to rewind a few times to catch some of the irreverent, LOL lines. The supporting characters seem promising as well, with a classic Jeffrey Tambor turn as Pete’s bit-actor dad, still looking for his close-up.

There’s a line in the episode that refers to the quote, “I may be bent but I’m not broken….” so I’m guessing the show’s name is a nod to both  lead characters who are getting past life challenges (her painful divorce, his gambling addiction and other bad habits.)  If the first two shows are any indication, the show is going for more than cheap laughs.

“Bent” has gotten great reviews so I hope the placement against “Modern Family” on Wednesday nights doesn’t kill it before it has a chance to catch on.

If it’s worth Wilson’s time, it’s worth yours.

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Posted in Fav TV

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Fasten Your Laces for Kids Spring Sports Season

Posted on March 21, 2012 | 2 comments

KIds Spring Sports Begin: Aden (left) on soccer field

My sons’ eager and dedicated coaches just sent out the spring practice/ game schedules and I’m feeling stressed.

Wilson and my three boys (ages 6, 8, and 12) are consumed with sports.  If they aren’t watching games or highlights, they are discussing teams, stats, strategies, trades, plays, and records.  But they’re in all their glory when actually playing sports– which they do, a lot.

Their sports calendar is my version of March Madness, only it extends through June. There are carpools, equipment checks, and enough Gatorade to fill an Olympic-sized pool.  Since Wilson doesn’t get home until after 7:30pm, much of the time management and driving to these athletic commitments falls on me.

Jacob taking a swing

We just came off winter– our slowest sports season—with only basketball and some indoor soccer. It was nice to have some free weekends to make plans or do a house project. But now we’re heading into primetime sports insanity.  6-year-old Eli will have two Little League T-ball practices and one afternoon of basketball, but my two older jocks are both on baseball and travel soccer teams.  That translates to a combined total of 8 practices and a minimum of 5 games a week.

Did I mention that I am not a sports fan? Yeah, I really don’t give a hoot who won the Rangers game last night, for whom Manning will play next season, or that Lehigh upset Duke in the first round of the NCAA tournament. It’s actually kind of crazy that I even know these facts at all, except that I live with 3 little sports tickers who constantly spew factoids, so I learn by athletic osmosis.

I find myself feigning interest just to have the pleasure of conversing with them. Those of you who have boys—or a husband for that matter—know that they aren’t prone to excessive talking or sharing. So when they want to tell me every detail of their college basketball bracket, I try to hide the dullness behind my eyes and focus on how cute they look exuding pastime passion.

I admit I’ve become more of a fan since living in my own ESPN Zone. I root for the Mets, Knicks, and Giants and now understand the intricacies of stealing bases or boxing out after a rebound.  But it’s really watching my boys play that has converted me.

Eli dribbling down the soccer field

Most days, they happily skip to the car for practice and suit up early for games. They do drills outside to work on a skill they haven’t yet mastered.  Eavesdropping on Eli doing the play-by-play of an imaginary game for an hour in the back yard makes my heart melt.

They love sports and I love them for it.  I have experienced deep pride in their wins, and learned life lessons from their losses. Playing sports has taught them commitment, bravery and integrity, and witnessing that has been an inspiring experience.

I may never watch (or understand) an entire football game, but I will always want to sit in the room while my boys argue every play.  You can find me in the bleachers ready to cheer on my MVP, or console my benchwarmer.  Win or lose, I’ll eternally enjoy how they play the game.

The boys in their jerseys at the Knicks game

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Posted in My Little Jocks

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Top 7 Kid’s Texting Translations

Posted on March 20, 2012 | 1 comment
Image

Jacob’s texting needs translation

I often find myself lost in text translation.

My oldest son, Jacob, is a mature, confident, and savvy 12 year old.  Too smart for his own good, he can be infuriatingly manipulative. As a sixth grader, he walks to and from middle school through our suburban downtown, so we gave him a cell phone to promote safety and communication.

Jacob, however, believes the only purpose of the cell phone is to text his friends. When I communicate with him, I almost always call, so I can hear his voice and take care of our business efficiently. Like many pre-teens, he prefers to text me in phrases I often don’t understand, which makes me feel old. While a phone call would allow for context, he will come up with 62 reasons why texting 4 abbreviated words is the best way to ask me if he can avoid homework and go to the park after school.

I don’t enjoy our texting relationship because it somehow allows him to forgo manners and respect for sassy slang.  When I was forced to text him recently about why he hadn’t answered his phone or texted me for 30 minutes after school, his typed response was ”Chillax dude. lol… be home in a few.”

Now is that any way to talk to your mother?!

Text-speak for the kids is quite literally another language, one of which I have only remedial knowledge. I asked Jacob to translate some of the more amusing phrases he uses to speak to his friends:

1.  WTF and/or OMFG—I think you can guess the meaning here.            (According to Jacob, since only the “F” initial is being used, it isn’t technically swearing.)

2.  NMJC—Not much just chillin’.                                                                       (The natural answer to “what r u doing?”)

3.  JW – Just wondering                                                                                        (A likely response to the stock question, “why did u ask if I like her/him?”)

4.  TTYL—Talk To You Later                                                                                (Should really be “text you later”—good old-fashioned conversation is lost on these kids.)

5. BRA— Friend                                                                                                        (As in brother, bro, brey….not lady’s lingerie.)

6. IKR—I know, right?                                                                                           (A common response to “My mom’s so annoying…”)

7.  PITR – Parent in the Room                                                                           (The horror!!)

Did I clear some things up for you? Please share any texting tales you have about your preteens and teens… and more texting translations are always welcome!

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Posted in Kids manners, Social Media, Top 7 Lists

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Idol Predictions for Top 10

Posted on March 19, 2012 | 1 comment

Ok kids, time for my “Idol” predictions.  Some say this season has been boring but I say, “Quit your whining!” “Idol” is one of the few shows I can watch with my boys and for that alone I love it.

After ten years, I find “Idol“ comforting– like eating a big bowl of mac and cheese– although maybe you have a little bit of the same regret afterwards.  Plus, I can’t take my eyes off JLo. I was never a huge fan—she seemed like a diva who craved the spotlight and made questionable personal life decisions.

But then she got married for real, had kids, and a bunch of her rom-com movies tanked and she was humbled. Now she seems to have a new appreciation for all the attention she’s getting, which makes me like her more. She seems comfortable in her own skin and has a lot of heart. And how can you deny that she’s impossibly gorgeous? I can’t wait to see what she’ll do with her hair, makeup, and wardrobe. I might not always share her taste, but she makes it work. She makes 40+ look good. And unlike other judges—like Kara and even Randy at times– she seems to really enjoy her role in the show and watching the kids bloom.

Getty

This season I had some favorites early on. I told my kids that Phil Phillips was going to make it to the Top 10 after that crazy cool version of “Thriller” he offered up during his audition.  I have never purchased an “Idol” album or song on iTunes, but I just may buy his take on Stevie Wonder’s “Superstition.” He is amazingly talented and completely unaffected.  He must be frustrating the wardrobe staff, but I love how he performs in jeans and a long-underwear shirt every week and no one notices or cares. (It’ll be funny to see what style guru Tommy Hilfiger does with him.)

I also love me some Skylar Laine. I’m not a huge country fan but she has spunk and pipes and her performances are never boring.  Despite some talent, forgettable contestants include Deandre Brackensick  (the curls and falsetto don’t impress me,) Erika Van Pelt (meh,) and Elise Testone, who has a rich voice but always looks like her cat just died. Have some fun up there girl!

Michael Becker/FOX

Completely themselves and fun to watch:  Colton Dixon and Heejun Han.  I don’t really care if every note is right if they are great performers, whether jumping on pianos or making me laugh.

As for pure musical talent, voices that stir me inside and give me the “goosies” as JLo says, I look to Jessica Sanchez, Hollie Cavanagh, and Joshua Ledet.  None of them look like they could open their mouths and have such power and grace come out, but all three have been pretty consistent each week.

My Idol predictions:  In the next few weeks we’ll lose Elise, Erika, and hopefully Deandre…soon to be followed by Heejun. Then it will get dicey and anyone could go but I’m going to say Phil, Colton, Jessica, and Joshua will be in the top four.  A great finale would be Phil vs. Jessica but I’ll have to weigh in again on the finale after a few more weeks.  And you know I will!

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Posted in Celebrity Happenings, Fav TV, Music Notes

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Playroom Cleanup Blues

Posted on March 13, 2012 | Comments Off on Playroom Cleanup Blues

How long will our playroom stay organized?

I spent more than seven hours this weekend cleaning out my kids’ playroom. It’s a thankless task.  When it was over, I felt like I had completed a marathon: exhausted, sweaty, dirty, and a little bitter that no one else cared about finishing as much as I did.

I only do the playroom cleanup purge about twice a year because I know the energy and time required.  I’m like an anthropologist, digging through the Matchbox cars, puzzle pieces, action figures, and art supplies that once had a home, but somehow migrated into overflowing baskets of chaos.

There is a great sense of satisfaction in throwing things away and gathering usable toys and games to donate. But I always have a twinge of sadness at the symbolism. Seeing the stuffed Mickey Mouse and giant fire truck puzzle being carted away for some other toddler boy reminds me that my kids are growing up.

Was it all the dust from the emptied shelves or nostalgia causing that welling in my eyes? Nothing I can do about it, so I focus on the order I made. I take my kids on a tour of the new and improved room, explaining where things go after they play with them. Yet we all know that I’ll be right back there in six months when the clutter returns, singing the playroom cleanup blues.

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Posted in Modern Life

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Scavenger Hunt Birthday Party

Posted on March 13, 2012 | 4 comments

Get your nails done for extra points!

I have three children who have had a combined total of 26 birthdays. That’s a lot of balloons and cake. Feel like if you have to take your shoes off to watch your kid jump into a pool of foam blocks one more time you just might punch a clown?

I’ve been there people, and there’s a better way. Of course you can Google “kids birthday parties” and spend two days reading through all the delightful and creative ideas from Real Simple and iVillage. But I don’t like centerpieces that require glue guns and no kid wants healthy snacks in the goody bags.

Our family likes scavenger hunt parties so much, we did it twice: first for my 10- year-old, and the following year for my 8-year-old.  It’s pretty low maintenance, doesn’t break the bank, and is a home run with kids.

The first time we did it was in February so we opted for the nearest mall as our scavenger hunt location, but in warmer weather we did it in our suburban downtown. We broke into teams of 4-5 kids– chaperoned by an adult– who toted clipboards with task lists, $5 petty cash, and a camera (or phone that takes photos.)

Task: Boogie in front of dry cleaners

Each completed task earned points and the team that got to certain stops first received special candy treats (ring pops, Pez, pop rocks, etc). The tasks ranged from educational (add up how much Aden’s favorite meal costs at a restaurant, budget money to buy clues) to silly (try on lipstick and/or nail polish—huge hit with giggly boys.) The winners got the most points within the allotted time limit.  My uber-competitive boys loved the thrill of the hunt and came up with many creative ways to increase their points.

Task: Buy gum, chew it up & stick on town gum wall!

Task: Try on glasses at store & take photo

The kids maintained their excitement for almost two hours, which I considered a triumph. For the mall hunt, we ended up at a burger joint and ate a meal but in our town we ended the party at our house for cake so the cost was amazingly low.  The planning took about two hours and clean up was nothing.

My scavenger hunt task list and rules are below. I’d love to hear about your favorite birthday party ideas and/or your scavenger hunt experiences in the comments!

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SAMPLE TASKS:

–How many players are there on the baseball cake at Village Ice Cream?  (5 pts)

–Try on jewelry at toy store and take a photo. (15 points)

–Take photo of 2 team members sitting in tiny wire chairs outside kids store.

–What color is the door at xx Woodland Rd? (2 points)

–Buy an animal cookie at Village coffee for Aden. (5 points)

–Get chopsticks from sushi place. (15 points)

–Look under bench across from corner of Beach St/Woodland- (candy taped under there) (2 points)

–Take a photo with an angel at flower store. (10 points)

–Try on a hat and take a photo at store. (20 points)

–What time is it on biker’s watch in the display at Beacon Jewelers?  (10 pts)

–What is the color of the “Welcome” sign at the old Village Belle? (2 pts)

–How many owls are there in the window of Bee and Thistle? (5 pts)

–Get a menu from Village Trattoria. (2 pts)

–Who teaches the 930am class at Yoga studio on Tuesday? (5 points)

RULES:

Remember we are in a public place and have to be quiet and respectful to shoppers and employees. The goal is to do as many tasks as possible and get the most points. Don’t worry about completing every task. No one should be forced to do anything they don’t want to do so decide as a team what works best.

— No running. You may walk quickly but you will lose points for running and/or bumping into people.

–Be polite. We do not want to bother people or get kicked out of a store for being too loud or rude. You will lose 25 points for any bad behavior.

–Creativity will get you extra points. If you can’t find the exact item on the list, improvise and you may still get some points.

–No infighting among team members. You will get 20 extra points for working well together.

–There will be special bonus surprises at a few locations. These surprises are worth an extra 25 points.  Some places will have one surprise, if there are multiple surprises, please only take one per team.

–Be on time. Your team will receive 10 bonus points for getting back to Aden’s house at the appointed time.

–Have fun!

Please send me any questions in the comment section. Happy hunting!

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