Last weekend I was in Chicago for the Super Bowl of blogging conventions: BlogHer. This was my second year at the conference– last year it was in New York — and it was comforting to be surrounded by so many women who also stare at a computer screen for hours on end, trying to tell meaningful stories.
When I took out my favorite notebook — a spiral large enough to hold my pen, with blank pages and Andy Warhol-esque neon prints of the Mona Lisa on the cover– I noticed many others with unique journals filled with scribbled ideas and lists and thought, “These are my people.”
My highlights:
Inspirational speakers— The conference opened with a chat with Ree Drummond, better known as “The Pioneer Woman.” Her talk was as funny, authentic, and heart-felt as her blog, punctuated by some of her famous photos. She moved from city life to a ranch in the middle of nowhere after falling hard for her husband. They make their home on the range with 4 kids and a menagerie of barnyard animals. Her blog has become so popular, she’s written several cookbooks and children’s books, and hosts a show on the Food Network, but blogging is still her favorite endeavor. I wasn’t the only one inspired when she pointed out that she was sitting at a table at BlogHer just six years ago wondering what she was doing with her life. And look at her now!
Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg at BlogHer13
Facebook CEO Sheryl Sandberg grabbed me with her message of empowerment. I was skeptical after all the press about her bestseller, “Lean In,” fearing it would make me feel like a failure because I left my TV career to spend more time with my kids. But I received the opposite message from her in person. She talked about how potent fear can be when it comes to women and success. Why are we so afraid of speaking up, taking risks, failing, succeeding? She also got extra points when asked what she does to de-stress, because her answer was watching well-written TV, like “Girls.” I liked her so much I’m going to read the book and will report back.
Queen Latifa was the emcee of Voices of the Year
Voices of the Year– Each year, bloggers submit posts and BlogHer chooses the best 100 of the year and 12 get to read their winning pieces at the conference. The writing was poignant and represents a wide breadth of life experience. One called “DIY is full of danger...” –about a mom who accidentally gave herself a raging case of hives while crafting– made me howl laughing. There were also incredible posts on topics as varied as surviving cancer, being a gay Christian missionary, and parenting a child with suicidal depression. The writers drew us in with their honesty, strength, and courage.
House of swag-– What’s a convention without marketing and bags of useless swag? There was a football-field sized expo with booths looking to lure in bloggers with free stuff so they’ll promote their brands. With more than 4,000 women expected, marketers tried to create a lady’s paradise.
You could try a new cell phone, take an aerobics class, get your hair and nails done, or try a bevy of beauty products. Munchies I tried included cake, candy, and yogurt, washed down with champagne.
Last year the smarties at Trojan handed out vibrators, sparking thousands of blog mentions (including mine,) so this year…lubricant.
Who doesn’t want a picture standing next to a giant bottle of lube to blog about? Good times.
I learned stuff– Like any conference, there were some helpful speakers and sessions, and some duds. I marked up my paper schedule, and referred to the BlogHer13 iPad app like I was at freshman orientation. I don’t care if I was a blog nerd, I sacrificed a workday and a weekend, paid money, and flew to Chicago so I was going to squeeze all the valuable info possible out of my two days. The talks on optimizing social media and getting writing published were extremely useful, and an identity discussion on how to measure success if you choose not to become a brand and seek out advertisers resonated with me.
Meeting bloggers– I attended several sessions to help improve my writing, marketing and social media skills and was impressed by the success of many bloggers. I know how much time mine requires, yet there are myriad ways I could become more entrenched in the blogging community, and use Facebook and Pinterest to increase my numbers. These ladies plopped down their laptops, smart phones, and iPads, ready to get down to business, asking pointed questions while blogging, Tweeting, and taking notes simultaneously.
I met two savvy bloggers at one session who were beginners like me. I hope we’ll stay in touch and one day be chatting behind a podium as presenters on the “How My Blog Became a Book” panel, looking back on BlogHer13 and laughing at what rookies we were. Shout out to Amy at AMyNameisAmy and Emily at Em-i-lis — let’s make it happen ladies!
Chicago–It’s my hometown so part of my motivation was to stay with friends (thanks Sash!) Sunny skies and 75 degree days, and watching bikers and runners on the lake always elevates my mood. Everyone looks like they’re having fun during summertime in Chicago. The food ain’t bad either.
Me time– It’s rare to have that much time to myself. I was able to catch up with friends, uninterrupted by persistent kid questions, carpools, and needs. It was important to clear my mind a bit to absorb everything I learned and experienced at the conference. The time away put me in a reflective mood and made me think about why I blog and what’s next.
There are no easy answers, but BlogHer13 sure got me thinking.
carpool candy 
My kid’s obsessed with Instagram
My oldest son, Jacob, has only been a teenager for a few weeks, yet we’re already arguing about his use of technology.
You may recall a few months ago I posted about him begging me for a smart phone and a Facebook page. My feeling– backed up by Wilson- is that I don’t want to incur the extra cost of a smart phone and its maintenance, and I don’t want him having access to the internet whenever he feels like it. That can only lead to trouble.
I’m not naive enough to think these privileges aren’t going to happen in the near future, but I’d like to hold out as long as possible. Every day he’s learning and maturing and hopefully when I’m forced to give in, he will have that much more smarts to make the right decisions.
13 is a significant birthday and for Jews, becoming a bar mitzvah– which Jacob will do next month– is a big deal. So his grandparents wanted to get him a special gift and suggested an iPad mini.
At first I balked, thinking it was too much. But then I realized that we would not spend the money on a tech luxury like that for him right now and he would probably love it.
It’s been life changing.
One the plus side, it’s made Jacob more independent and self-sufficient. He had more apps on that thing in 2 days than I’ve ever had, on all my devices combined. He has it set up so he gets the weather (no more barging into my room to see the forecast every morning,) his favorite sports teams scores (no need for computer time instead of eating breakfast,) and his own camera.
He never cared much for a camera before but now he needs it to post on Instagram. Before I knew it, he was signed up and posting pix on Instagram almost hourly.
At first, I was concerned. I’m not on Instagram and didn’t know how to use it. I had banned him from Facebook and Google Plus but now, without even discussing it, he was right in the Insta-mix, gathering likes and friends like a magnet in a nail factory.
He spends hours every week making photo collages, scrolling through friends’ feeds and commenting on comments of pictures. I’m told his interest will wane after the novelty wears off, but he’s a social animal so I can see this becoming a powerful habit.
This is why I didn’t want him to have a smart phone. The lack of control and the complete abandon with which he jumped into the social media landscape makes me uncomfortable.
But then he was so happy to be part of the conversation, he told me he no longer needed a fancy phone. I realized that the iPad was the best short term compromise, because he has the social engagement and internet access he wants, but only at home (he doesn’t have 3G so can only use it with wifi) where its use can be monitored. He doesn’t take it to school or sports so the chances it gets damaged, lost, or stolen are slim.
What I didn’t count on was the obsessive use. Unless we take it away, the kid is clutching that device from the moment he wakes up until it falls out of his grip when he’s overcome by sleep at night. In addition to Instagram, he’s streaming TV shows, playing games, and Googling most thoughts that enter his head.
Ick.
Welcome to modern parenting: limiting screen time and helping kids understand the importance of electronic-free activities. Jacob is a great student who does his homework before play time, and a busy athlete with many practices and games. When with his gang of boys after school, they often play sports outside, but our recent freezing, snowy weather has encouraged more inside activities, and TV and video games are too tempting.
Last weekend our family drove into Manhattan for the day and the kids played on iPads during the 30 minute trip in. But on the way home, there was an uproar when we took them away.
“Look out the window! See the world! Listen to the radio! Let your mind wander!” I yelled from the front seat as Jacob rolled his eyes and grunted. He managed to get through the ride but asked for the iPad as soon as we got home. We refused.
It’s a battle we’ll be fighting for the rest of time.
So I had a problem– Jacob wanted a smart phone– that I thought I solved when he got an iPad…but that created a new problem. He’s only 13, and my first of three kids to go through technology adjustments and teen angst.
I better buckle up.
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Posted in Joys of Parenting, Modern Life, Social Media
Tagged instagram teen use, ipad mini for teens, kid obsessed with instagram, kids and social media, kids commenting on instagram, kids liking instagram pictures, kids making instagram collages, kids obsessed with social media, kids too much screen time, limiting kids screen time, parenting and technology, parents limiting kids screen time