Bad karma: Parent warriors on yoga in school

I read a story this week about a controversy over teaching yoga to kids at a San Diego area school. Apparently some parents in the community are objecting to yoga classes as part of the curriculum because they believe it’s indoctrinating them into eastern religion.

Say what??

Beside the outrageous narrow mindedness of the argument, this story hits me where it hurts because I practice yoga and believe everyone should give it a whirl. Yoga literally means the union of body and mind and aims at achieving a healthy, strong, balanced body and a calm, clear mind.  Good goals for adults and kids, no?

This group of California parents has hired an attorney who sent an email to the school district demanding that the classes stop immediately, claiming they’re unconstitutional. While the lawyer says the district is using taxpayer resources to promote Ashtanga yoga and Hinduism, the district superintendent says they’ve removed any religious content from the twice-weekly classes and don’t intend to stop the program. (You can read the full story in the North County Times here.)

A newspaper columnist and school board member went and observed the classes and found the kids quiet, engaged, and having fun. The yoga classes are part of an enrichment program at the school that started three years ago and has been targeted as so successful, it could become a national model.

A school official said the yoga classes allow kids to slow down during their busy school day and learn to breathe and calm themselves, especially when feeling social or academic stress.

Practicing yoga regularly can have life-changing effects that have nothing to do with how you worship.  Holding the poses stretches and lengthens your muscles, making you strong,  and promotes balance. The deep breathing and concentration helps quiet the mind and focus your thoughts and energy.

When I finish a yoga class, I feel calm and empowered. How could that be anything but positive for kids, especially during a school day?

I respect everyone’s right to religious practice and completely support upholding the separation of church and state in our schools, but the yoga practice going on at this school is not a threat to that.

Perhaps if these complaining parents could open their minds to new experiences, they would set an example for their kids of tolerance and understanding. They should look inward and start questioning their own dogma instead of fearing those who downward dog.

Author Alex Witchel Nourishes the Soul in “All Gone”

I recently reviewed a book for the Associated Press that exceeded expectations. The non-fiction work , “All Gone: A Memoir of My Mother’s Dementia with Refreshments,”  sounds like a downer but was surprisingly funny, relatable, and beautifully written.

The author, Alex Witchel, is a writer whom I admire for her insightful and engaging celebrity interviews as a staff writer for the New York Times magazine. She also had a regular food column for the Times and now writes a column called “Stage Fright” about new art, theater, and restaurant endeavors in New York.

(That’s my latest dream job: writing about celebrities, artists, and food for the New York Times. Where do I apply?!)

You might balk at a story about a woman caring for her ailing mother as she loses her memory and sense of self. But this book is more than that– detailing Witchel’s childhood in Scarsdale, her complicated family relationships, and how she came to work at the Times. She also includes some family recipes for comfort food that evoke nostalgia and tie her themes together.

I’d love you to read the review here and let me know if I sold you. The book will make you think about your relationship with your mother and maybe hanker for some meat and potatoes.

Teaching kids about heroes

When my boys were little, our family loved a terrific Fisher Price toy series called “Rescue Heroes.” We collected these action figures, who all had different jobs keeping people safe: Billy Blazes and Wendy Waters fought fires, Jake Justice was a cop,  Sandy Beach was a lifeguard, Rocky Canyon was a mountain ranger– you get the picture.

Those kinds of heroes were easy to recognize and had noble, clear intentions. But as children get older, it’s more difficult to find heroes to revere. Out of curiosity, I  asked my kids to name their heroes and gave them time to think about it.

12-year-old Jacob: “I don’t know. I don’t have any. That’s hard.”

9-year-old Aden: “Baltimore Ravens player Ray Lewis because he’s a great player and does a lot of charity work. And my mom and dad because they take care of me.”

6 year-old Eli: “Hmmmm. Well, me (pointing to himself.) And my friend Benjamin because he told a bully on the bus to stop when he was being mean to me.”

Some cute answers in there, but no substantial icons. It was hard to come up with people they admire and want to emulate.

The trouble with modern times is we all know too much. We are constantly hearing about accomplished people –at the top of their game and ripe for hero-worship– who fall from grace for personal weaknesses (see Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton, Lance Armstrong, Martha Stewart, the list goes on and on.)

I started thinking about this when I heard the story of Malala Yousufzai. She’s a 14-year-old Pakistani girl who just wanted to go to school. When the Taliban took over the area where she lived, she spoke out against their presence in her town and their ban on education for girls.

Times of India

Last week, a Taliban group targeted Malala, storming her school bus and shooting her in the head. After a few days in a local hospital, she was flown to England to get specialized treatment in a safe environment. The AP reported today that although she has suffered major brain trauma, her condition has improved and she’s moving her limbs.

I talked about Malala’s story with my kids at dinner the other night. They asked many questions and were shocked to hear that kids in other parts of the world actually have to risk their lives to get an education, and sometimes fight for the right to learn.

I told my boys that Malala is now one of my heroes, for being brave enough to stand up against the ultimate bullies–  for herself and for all the girls in her country. She proved that sometimes it just takes one voice, or one action to capture the world’s attention, and hopefully inspire change.

To read more about Malala’s story, click here.  Who are your heroes? Do your kids have any? It’s a good dinner table discussion topic. Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

Stephen Colbert’s America: How the father of truthiness is changing politics

As we get closer to the election, the political conversation is becoming more shrill on both sides. I’ve noticed several loyal Facebook posters threatening to  sign off until after November 6th, though I doubt they actually will.

This is not a political blog so though I’m a news junkie and following the race closely, I will refrain from taking sides here. But I recently wrote an interesting  story about when pop culture and politics collide.

I interviewed a Penn State professor on how Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report,”  has changed modern politics.

Professor Sophia McClennen has written a book called “Colbert’s America, Satire and Democracy,” which is pretty readable for an academic endeavor. She argues that Colbert and Jon Stewart are brilliant satirists who have captured attention by lampooning political and media figures, while pointing out the stupidity and folly of the way Washington works.

But Colbert has taken satire to a new level by actually motivating his fans to get up off the couch and become political activists.

Stunts on his pretend conservative talk show have spurned viewers to tweet en masse,  and donate money to both worthy causes and his Super PAC. He not only makes us laugh, he’s teaching us a lesson by exposing how money flows in our political system.

McClennen was engaging and smart and made me think about the power of satire and Colbert’s influence on politics in a new way.  Colbert seems to be everywhere these days. He was on “Meet the Press” last Sunday and “Oprah’s Next Chapter” featured Colbert recently as well.  In both interviews, I found him bright, charming, and authentic– probably why he has such a huge following. You can see a clip of Oprah’s interview here.

I’d love you to take a look at my story on how Colbert is changing politics here and let me know what you think.

The Paper Boy Delivers

Before kids we used to see movies all the time, sometimes two a weekend. We knew all the best theaters and when to go to get good seats. Names of actors and directors rolled off my tongue as easily as remembering family members.

But who has time for movies now?

I wish I did. It’s still one of one of my favorite activities. There’s something about sitting in the dark, scarfing down popcorn, while getting lost in a story that never gets old.

This weekend I was determined to see a flick.  When we arrived at the theater, the timing worked for a movie I knew nothing about called “The Paper Boy.”

The cast includes Nicole Kidman, Zac Efron, Matthew McConaughey, John Cusack, and Macy Gray so I figured it couldn’t be terrible.

Wilson and I loved it. It’s the FX show “Justified” meets “Cape Fear” meets “Body Heat.” Set in a Florida swamp town in the 1960’s, it’s the story of two brothers who only have each other and the maid who raised them after their mother left. The older brother (McConaughey) is a newspaper reporter who’s investigating whether a convicted murderer (Cusack) was framed for a crime he didn’t commit . Kidman plays the sexy fiance of the convict who has a stake in freeing her man.

The plot is compelling and unpredictable. It’s incredibly sexy and violent, but only briefly disturbing.  The acting is amazing, especially Efron who is scantily clad in most of the movie (which was just fine with me) but completely believable as the younger brother who comes of age as life kicks him in the gut more than once. Macy Gray plays the quietly wise maid who brought the boys up and has to balance playing surrogate mother and employee in the racist South.

I was distracted at first by Kidman’s over plumped lips– they seemed too modern for the 60’s waitress she plays– but she is so good in the movie, you forget about it and get lost in her character, who manages to be vulnerable and strong all at once.

“The Paper Boy” is directed by Lee Daniels who’s been a critical darling for  “Precious.” His talent is getting raw, intense performances out of actors and this movie is no exception.  McConaughey is grimy and reckless throughout, and Cusack is downright repulsive and terrifying.

I smell Oscar nods all around.

Daniels is also creative in his shots and editing, which messes with time and leaves the viewer wondering if all of the scenes were real or partly the character’s dream.  A small South Florida town in the Civil Rights era is an interesting backdrop to the plot and the relationships between the black and white characters are complicated but authentic.

I would highly recommend”The Paper Boy.”  I’d also suggest you see the movie before dinner as it will provide plenty of conversation.

Shoot me your movie tips in the comments.

More About Me as the Parent Du Jour

There’s a great website I highly recommend for working parents and those who are perhaps contemplating work, called theparentdujour.com. The site features a different working parent each day, with the goal of a year’s worth of sharing.  Parents answer a list of questions, including ones about their work situation, how they balance work and home life, and their best and worst parenting moments.

It’s easy to read because it’s in Q and A form and somehow, blogger Lisa Duggan get people to spill their guts about their relationships with their partners and kids. She is always looking for diversity so the site includes both moms and dads of many backgrounds and in all different types of families.

She also includes a question about which books you read to/with your kids so it’s a helpful resource for new kid book titles. Perfect for those who believe if they have to read “Go, Dogs, Go” or  another “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” sequel they may lose it.

All are welcome to participate so if you’d like to be featured or know someone who make good reading material, log on and make it happen.

If you want to read more about me– yes I divulge a few juicy details–  check out my answers here.

New Fall TV Season: Hopelessly Devoted to the Tube

Ever since I was a kid, this time of year got me jazzed for the new TV season. I pored over entertainment articles about upcoming shows and eagerly anticipated my returning favorites. I pitied  friends and family who claimed they didn’t have the time or interest to keep up with TV.

I fear I have become one of those people.

My brother (also a TV junkie) asked me the other day which new shows I liked and whether I had started “Homeland” and “Modern Family.”  I panicked. This is the first time in a long while that I’m completely behind on my TV repertoire and it’s stressing me out a little bit.

Life’s busy now that I’m back to work, and at this time of year the school and sports activities are endless.  And I also need to find time to blog for you people! My TV-watching window has decreased significantly and I don’t feel quite myself.

Thanks to modern technology, I can be behind on many shows and still catch up, between the DVR and OnDemand channels. Is this good or bad…I’m not sure.  In some ways I’m comforted by the knowledge that the shows are there waiting for me….but also feel the pressure to watch.

Over the summer, I had grand plans of picking up a bunch of shows I missed last year and finishing up others I left mid-season. I did manage to watch some but yet more eluded me.

I’m done harping on this digital dilemma. Instead I’ll cut to the chase and give you my overly obsessive list of where I stand in my TV commitments….

Shows I’m devoted to no matter what:   Mad Men,  Parenthood, Boardwalk Empire, Modern Family, Nurse Jackie, How I Met your Mother, Daily Show, Saturday Night Live.

Shows I enjoy occasionally but can’t commit:  The New Normal, X Factor.

New shows I’m determined to try and know I’ll love:  The Mindy Project, Nashville, Revolution, Call the Midwife.

Shows I caught up on this summer and won’t give up:   Boss, Smash, New Girl, Homeland.

Shows piled up on my DVR because I want to watch them but somehow get pushed to last priority:  30 Rock, Gossip Girl, Oprah’s Next Chapter.

Shows that have jumped the shark or gotten stale but I just can’t quit:  Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, The Office, The Big C.

Shows I would love to watch if Wilson wouldn’t judge me and leave the room:  Real Housewives of NJ/NY, Katie, Oprah’s Lifeclass.

Shows I regret missing completely:  American Horror Story, Glee, Weeds.

Shows I have missed but will find time to watch before I go gray: Breaking Bad, The Wire, Downton Abbey.

Here’s a link to some of the new shows this season with brief reviews. I’d love to hear which shows you’re watching and which you think I can let go. Tell me in the comments.

Kid Clothes: Why I Sweat The Sweats

This weekend, the family and I went to the Giants game. Wilson’s brother works in media and gets amazing perks that often land us in box seats at sporting events that we would never able to swing on our own. Call me old-fashioned, but I still think there are certain places where you should dress like a decent human being and the CBS 50-yard line skybox at Met Life Stadium is one of them.

When my delightful boys (ages 6, 9, and 12) got up, I told them I wanted them to wear jeans for the game. 6-year-old Eli put on his adorable skinny Levi’s without hesitation, but my older boys refused.

You would think I had asked them to wear a tuxedo.

The whining, yelling, and near tantrum behavior that ensued was ridiculous.  I was okay with the Giants jerseys on top but wanted them to step it up a notch and leave the synthetic shorts and sweatpants at home. “But Mooooom….it’s a sporting event, so why can’t I wear sports clothes!” they wailed.

I’ve been in these boxes before and they’re not like the bleachers. While there may be a few people in sweats, most wear jeans and some dress up more than that. The skybox crowd can look like they stepped out of a Ralph Lauren catalog in blazers, designer shirts, loafers, boots, etc. and I didn’t want my kids looking like slobs.

I held firm against their loud complaints and pouting, and tried to ignore them. But they wouldn’t let it go. They goaded me into arguing until I threatened to stay home with anyone who was not wearing jeans when it was time to go. And I meant it.

Somewhere between their indignant insults and stubborn defiance I dug my heels in and wanted them to understand that listening to their mother– whether they agreed with her or not– was not an option, but a demonstration of respect.

We’re talking jeans here people. Not a tutu.

When 12-year-old Jacob realized he had lost the battle, he changed and then spent the next half-hour bellyaching about how “uncomfortable” the jeans were to wear.

“Look at how baggy and wrinkly they are! They feel horrible!” he yelled.

I’m flabbergasted at how these kids have rejected jeans in favor of sports pants and actually believe they are fashionable. As I told my boys, I hold my tongue every day when they come downstairs for school wearing baggy shorts or sweats and an oversized t-shirt emblazoned with a sports team or logo that doesn’t remotely match.

I let them wear whatever they want to school and on weekends with their friends, even though I often think they look like vagabonds. A few times a year I ask them to put on a pair of structured pants and a nice shirt, and they give me grief.

And while we’re on the subject of kids couture, what is up with the sports socks and slides trend?? I HATE  that look. These boys are quibbling with me about what’s cool to wear when their favorite footwear makes them look like an 85-year-old Florida retiree.

Ironically, when I asked them to dress up for temple for the Jewish holidays, they donned dress clothes without fanfare. Here’s 9-year-old Aden looking handsome, posing in fancy clothes  (although note he refused to wear a belt!)

That was okay…. but jeans, no, no. In the enigmatic mind of a boy, khakis are smoother and more comfortable than jeans, which are apparently akin to a strait jacket.

But I prevailed.

They wore jeans and looked nice and I felt sheepishly proud.  But they were bitter and I earned the title once again of  “meanest mom in the world.”

Sometimes I’m okay with that.

Don’t Judge a Mom by the Size of Her Job

Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer/AP

I saw this Associated Press article in my travels yesterday and it pissed me off.

It’s about the new CEO of Yahoo, Marissa Mayer, who gave birth to her first child over the weekend.  Some reports just stated the facts, like the kid doesn’t even have a name yet. But this particular article (likely one of many) wondered how Mayer will be able to take on the challenge of new motherhood while doing the very large job of saving Yahoo.

What’s interesting to me is that this would never come up if she was a man. I’m not even sure the CEO of a major company becoming a father would even make news, much less cause a stir. I don’t think anyone would be questioning how a male CEO would balance his job and parenting.

Why is that?

Do we assume that said CEO has a wife who would take care of a newborn, leaving him to master the universe? Or is it that we can’t imagine a woman could handle the modern high standards of new moms while running a giant corporation?

The article says : “The attention surrounding Mayer’s pregnancy and the birth of her child intensifies the pressure as she tries to engineer a long-awaited turnaround at one of the Internet’s best-known companies. ” 

Whether your work is at home or in the office, all moms know that every day is a struggle for the illusive life balance.  Some days the stars align, all your carpool plans gel, the test goes well, you made a great point in a meeting, and you can reheat leftovers for dinner.

And some days just suck.

Here’s another quote from the article: “No matter how much Mayer may have prepared for her baby’s arrival, she is likely to be surprised by some of the difficulties that torment working moms, predicted Kim Smith, a partner with Witt/Kieffer, an executive recruitment firm that has worked with other mothers who have time-consuming jobs.”

Thanks for the sister support Kim!

Of course she’s going to be surprised, and exhausted, and an emotional wreck in the first few months. And even if she has a baby nurse and 2 nannies, it’s still on her to bond with that little boy and learn how to take care of him, no matter how many times her iPhone rings.

But let’s let her do it in peace. She’ll figure it out. We women are extremely capable creatures. She’ll be changing a diaper with one hand and reading deals with the other in no time.  Or maybe her husband will stay home with the kids while she focuses on taking over the internet.

Congratulations Marissa! Enjoy this special time with your son whichever way you choose, without people judging you. I know I won’t.