Best books lists: what are you reading?

I love to read so I get that question a lot. The irony is, I’m in two book clubs and I review books for work, so I rarely have time to choose the books I’m reading.

Yet I still obsess over my mushrooming reading list on my Blackberry. If I hear or read about a book that interests me, I’m compelled to add it. Just like my DVR saved programs screen, my book list is full of unmet potential.

Sigh.

But I won’t stop adding books to my list because, unlike TV, it’s never too late to read a great book, no matter how long ago it was published. I fantasize about a mild illness or subtle injury that causes very little pain and discomfort but keeps me laid up in bed for days on end. Or maybe it’s the fabled desert island where I’ll bring my pile of books to devour in the sun.

Someday.

In that spirit, I offer you fellow book lovers a terrific list I found last month. Many magazines, websites and newspapers offer their own best books of the year lists, but books are so subjective, and there are so many to consider in a year, it’s difficult to find one list that’s agreeable to all.

best best books 2012 list

But this Flavorwire link is the mother of all lists. They compiled a tally from 14 great book sites– from Publisher’s Weekly to the New York Times to The Daily Beast– and then named the books that were listed most often in all the lists combined.

I’m embarrassed to say that the only book on the Flavorwire big list that I’ve read is Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl (which I loved.) But I was so jazzed by some of the other titles, I brought them to my book club meeting and hopefully will get to read a few in the coming months.

I’m most pumped to delve into Kevin Powers’ The Yellow Birds, Jess Walters’ Beautiful Ruins, and Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk, by Ben Fountain.  Thoughts?

I have so little time to read for pleasure that I hate to waste it on flimsy fiction. Check out the Flavorwire list on the link above and let me know if you’ve read any of the books and whether you’d give a green or red bookmark… and tell me in the comments.

Happy reading!

Mail to the Chief: kids advice for the 2nd term

I’m a sucker for pomp and circumstance and anything that makes me proud to be an American, so I loved watching Monday’s inaugural festivities. This is a blog about family life and pop culture– not politics– so I’ll stick to the fluff analysis.

I loved all Michelle’s fashion choices– from the cool J.Crew sash she turned into a belt for her sleek swearing-in coat, to her red Jason Wu evening gown. She looked stunning, modern, and comfortable. Have we had a First Lady as beautiful and stylish since Jackie Kennedy? I think not.

Looks like Sasha and Malia are taking after mom in good taste. I loved their complimentary purple coats, scarves, and gloves and how playful they were with their parents and each other when they weren’t required to be serious.

I can’t even imagine what it must feel like to look out at hundreds of thousands of people who’ve been standing in the cold all day to catch a glimpse of your dad.  Or what it feels like to hear the best in music serenading your dad as the leader of the country. At least they have each other to pinch in those moments. I wish those first daughters could blog!

Kelly Clarkson, Beyonce, and James Taylor were all terrific and seemed honored by the significance of their role in the day. I got a lump in my throat hearing all those patriotic songs and felt lucky to live in the USA.

mail to the chief kid letters to obama

In my travels I found a story in the Huffington Post about letters kids have written to President Obama about what he needs to get done in his second term. It’s part of an educational program called “Mail to the Chief,” aimed at encouraging kids in grades K-5 to write letters by hand and get involved in civics and government.

As you might expect, some of the letters are hilarious because kids are so unfiltered and candid. Other requests show a real interest in the world around them. Many students asked the President to try to improve life for others less fortunate– impressive for kids so young. The letters about the troops will tie your heartstrings in a bow.

mailtothechieflogo1

You can read some of the letters here.

One of my favorite lines from Catherine of Glen Falls, NY says:

You should try to do some things Republicans want. I’m not saying everything, just a few because you want most people to like you. I want Republicans and Democrats to get along better.” 

Me too, Catherine!

Sweating the small stuff– night worrying

Today I woke up in a panic.

I had gone to bed late after watching the movie “The Impossible,” the true story of a couple and their 3 boys who lose each other during the 2004 Asian tsunami that killed more than 200,000 people. I liked it– it was well-directed and acted –but difficult to watch at times because the effects were so real and the fear so palpable. Apparently it took  a year to meticulously recreate the tsunami hitting the beach and the aftermath of its violent devastation.

It was an intense movie experience but not exactly the chamomile tea of bedtime entertainment.

Wilson was on a business trip so I solicited my 7-year-old, Eli,  to sleep in my bed to fill the void. I don’t sleep well when Wilson’s not around.

I must have dreamed about the movie because I woke up a mere 4 hours after falling asleep. Panting breath. Heart racing. Head pounding. It was almost like I was hung over, but I hadn’t had a drop to drink.

middle of the night panic attacks

Thoughts were flying through my mind  like race cars on a speedway. A worry would zoom in, make my stomach drop, and then zoom out, only to be followed by a different fear.

I noticed Eli was breathing heavily in his sleep and immediately decided he must have the flu. I had forgotten to give him his nightly asthma medicine before bed and was now certain his health was in peril and it was all my fault. He’s had a flu shot and his only symptom was a sniffle. But in my mind we were headed for the ER.

The mind plays tricks in the middle of the night.

Like everyone else, I have a lot going on at work and at home, but nothing serious or life threatening. I have some deadlines looming this week and Wilson being gone doubled some of the weekend duties, but nothing I can’t handle.

So why the hysteria??

Stress and angst are part of modern life, no? I’m not a type-A person.  In fact, I’m quite the creative procrastinator who never sees the bottom of a to-do list because I’d rather socialize, read, or watch TV  than do errands. But once in a while the tension builds up and it’s Panic Room city.

Some say these unwelcome wake ups are a sign of aging. As we get older, our sleep patterns fail us and the smallest worry ignites the mind.

Damn middle age.

This tweet from funny lady Allana Harkin of Babble.com made me feel better:

I just wish the “me” time was more enjoyable.

Hard to embrace it when it feels like a heart attack and leaves me edgy all day. I know when I’m in that mode I need to stop my mind from spinning, so I turned on a pen light to read. When the sun came up I headed to yoga class. The breathing and standing on my head helped a little.

Does this happen to you? Let me know in the comments. And please share any remedies that don’t require a prescription!

Lance spills to Oprah– did you watch?

This was a big week for famous people telling us things we already knew. First actress Jodie Foster came out in a rambling, indirect speech at the Golden Globes, and tonight I watched former 7-time Tour De France winner Lance Armstrong admit to doping.

The evidence has been out there for a while and despite many public denials, Lance finally came clean in an exclusive interview with Oprah on her OWN network.

The stories I’ve read about the systematic bullying, threats, and intimidation he used against his inner circle when they betrayed him, make him sound like a monster.

Some view his fall from grace as especially shameful because he’s also a testicular cancer survivor who formed the Livestrong foundation that has raised millions of dollars for research, and inspired many touched by cancer.

Livestrong bracelet Oprah and lance interview review

In a great article previewing the interview, Dan Wetzel of Yahoo sports wrote:

Armstrong isn’t necessarily a bad guy for doping. He is a bad guy for the way he used his immense power, fame and fortune to attempt to ruin anyone who dared to speak the truth to his avalanche of lies.

He goes on to list all the questions he would ask if he ever got a shot at Armstrong. Oprah addressed many of them in the interview.

Armstrong admitted right off the top that he used performance enhancing drugs, and said he was doing the interview to acknowledge his mistakes and apologize.  He seemed tense and shifty, often clenching his teeth and avoiding looking Oprah in the eye as he answered the toughest questions.  He probably would rather have been almost anywhere but that chair. But he did talk for two and a half hours. Here are some of the highlights that stood out:

–Why now: “I don’t have a good answer. This is too late. It was one big lie I repeated a lot of times.”

–Why he kept up the charade for so long : “This story was so perfect for so long. A  mythic perfect story. I lost myself in all that. I couldn’t handle it, I had always controlled every outcome of my life.”

–On his rough tactics against teammates and others who came clean: “I was a bully. I tried to control the narrative by calling them liars.”

–Why he thinks he bullied people: “My mother had me very young and we always had our back against the wall… so we were fighters, my entire life. I took that ruthless, relentless attitude into cycling. Surviving cancer changed me… and that instinct morphed into the bullying.”

Oprah Armstrong Interview

–On a video of him denying drug use to anti-doping officials: “I think, look at that arrogant prick. It’s not good.”

–Oprah: “Did you feel the doping was wrong at the time?”  Lance:  “No. ”                           Oprah: “Did you feel bad about it?”   Lance: “No, scary, right?”                                           Oprah: “You didn’t think you were cheating at the time?”  Lance: “No, even scarier.”

–On the day his doping case was reopened: ” I’d do anything to go back to that day. I wouldn’t fight it. I wouldn’t sue them. I’d listen….I wish I could have told the truth then.”

–On how he expects people to react: “I see the anger in people who supported and believed in me. They have every right to feel betrayed. I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to earn back trust.” 

–On suing Irish cycling masseuse Emma O’Reilly and others who outed his doping: “That was a major flaw. It was a guy who expected to get whatever he wanted and control every outcome. Some people won’t forgive me. I understand that.” 

Critics said Armstrong chose Oprah because she would go easy on him. But anyone who knows her interview style knows she’s anything but soft.  She came prepared, armed with facts, quotes and video that wasn’t just handed to her by producers. She brang it. She was composed and clear. There were many questions she planned to ask but she wasn’t afraid to react to his answers and delve deeper.  She has a way of getting people to “speak their truths,” as she would say. There’s still another hour to air tomorrow, but so far, I’d give her an A.

It was compelling TV.

Oprah went on “CBS This Morning” this week and had some interesting things to say about the interview. You can see that here.

My thoughts? Armstrong was a bad, selfish guy who lied. Now he’s still a bad guy who happens to be telling the truth, for reasons still unclear. I didn’t believe he was sincere and am not sure if he’s sorry he did it or sorry he got caught.

Did you watch it? OWN is repeating the interview Friday and throughout the weekend if you want to catch it. What did you think? Tell me in the comments.

This Real Housewife’s take on the famous ones

I have a confession to make. At the risk of being ridiculed by those who know me and judged by those who don’t, I need to tell you something.  I LOVE the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.”

There, I said it.

I need you to know that I am someone who reads great fiction and is politically aware. I don’t live in a community focused on money and status symbols, but rather diversity and creativity.  I am an editor at a news website working on international stories like Iran sanctions, the rise of Islamic extremism in Africa, and women’s rights issues in the Middle East.

But I love me some rich, bitchy, botoxed housewives.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills addict

I can’t quite explain it– and I’ve tried because Wilson is baffled by my condition and refuses to watch. Just the promos make him cringe.

I’m fascinated by the overwhelming decadence, and those ladies’ complete lack of self-awareness.  Always red carpet ready with moneyed makeup, hair, nails,  clothing, and accessories, they are walking clichés, living in a bubble of opulence, without a care or thought for anyone outside of it.

There are other Housewives, of course. When I watch Andy Cohen’s nightly show “Watch What Happens Live,” on Bravo, I see them. But the Atlanta crew seems too angry, New Jersey too mean, Orange County too dumb, and Miami too boring. I’ve toyed with the New York Housewives– and Bethenny Frankel makes me laugh– but there were too many who instantly annoyed me and I couldn’t stick with it. The 90210 gals overall have more –dare I say– smarts?

Maybe if I tuned into the other franchises once or twice, I’d get sucked into their vortex of crazy too, but I’ve stayed away. I know there are more productive ways to spend my time. I could be playing a game or reading to my kids, or catching up on my book club selection, or volunteering at a soup kitchen. Even reading People would be more intellectual.

But if I know there’s a RHOBH burning a hole on my DVR, I’m drawn to it like a starlet to a camera, like a publicist to a scandal, like a housewife to her plastic surgeon. It’s undeniable.

On the surface there’s nothing relatable about these women– mostly because they have so much money and live in LA, where people unapologetically value bigger mansions, private chefs and trainers, designer bags, and bling.  But their friendships– both real and fake–  are very familiar and put a spotlight on how some women treat each other.

Although they must lead busy lives, they always seem to have time for a glass of wine at a ladies lunch at some chichi hotspot. They show up perfectly coiffed and styled and blow air kisses (on both cheeks of course) and coo over each other’s hair and clothing. “You look gorgeous!” is apparently the only proper way to say hello in LA.

When discussing the details of the latest manufactured drama, the gloves come off and these ladies start sniping. They circle each other like cats, drawing in their prey with empty compliments and terms of endearment (“How are you dahling?”….”It’s so good to see you sweetie!”) Then they pounce.

It’s season 3 so they know each other’s weaknesses and if they’re not the instigator or victim, they’re taking sides and stirring the pot. It’s hard to turn away from story lines like the ex-child actress turned alcoholic and her holier-than-thou sister…. the impossible tall and skinny former model still nursing her wounds after being betrayed by her actor husband, who’s now married to a country music star….and the wife of a huge music producer who preaches perfection from her Malibu mansion overlooking the ocean.

I could go on. But I won’t. For now.

I may not be able to resist sharing my thoughts on the show in future posts. Please weigh in and tell me if you have a guilty pleasure show. Or try mine. But don’t blame me when you get hooked on the Housewives. It happens to the best of us.

Chicks rule at the Golden Globes: my highlights

I told Wilson and the kids to fend for themselves for dinner and plopped myself in front of the TV with my gear. Watching awards shows has become a multimedia experience. I watched the Globes live, but during commercials I rewound the pre-show on my DVR to make sure I didn’t miss any good fashion, while monitoring Twitter on my iPad for buzz, and blogging for you people on my laptop.

I was in heaven.

Golden Globes 2013 highlights

The night was filled with promise, especially since two of my favorite funny ladies, Amy Poehler and Tina Fey were hosting.

First, my thoughts on fashion…..

Lots of black on the red carpet this year made for some dull choices. There weren’t any Bjork swan dress moments, and there were many who looked great (Julie Bowen, Zoey Deschanel, Sofia Vergara, and Amanda Seyfried come to mind)  but few WOWS. Here are my hits and misses.

HITS:

JLo—Biggest wow for me. Her dress looked like delicate lace painted on her body. Sexy yet chic, and perfect hair.

Taylor Swift— Elegant, beautiful in eggplant with dangly jeweled earrings and romantic hair.

Julianne Moore—Black and white Tom Ford dress to die-for: sleek, modern, gorgeous.

Nicole Kidman— Out of Tom’s shadow, she’s not afraid to wear heels and tower over Keith Urban in a polished McQueen that was classy with edge. Her face looked less pulled and her hair was loose and pretty.

Hayden Penettiere – Gorgeous lace fitted sheath with feathered fish tail. She sings, she acts and she can wear a dress. One to watch.

Kate Hudson— Pushed out 2 kids and springs back to svelte, rocking a daring Cleopatra gold and black number.

Julianna Margolies-– Didn’t love the long straight ponytail but she gets best back award in black lacy Pucci dress. Sexy and toned.

Stacy Keibler—People famous for who they date bug me, but I can’t overlook her shiny black Armani sheath with modern striped detail. She looked phenomenal, even standing next to George.

Clooney—No one wears a tux like George. ‘Nuf said.

Leo Dicaprio— Old Hollywood handsome, classic. Loved.

Denzel Washington— Looked great in straight tie tux. Aging well.

MISSES:

Lucy Liu— Her poofy patterned dress looked like a wedding cake ornament.

Giuliana Rancic- Does good interviews but looked like sickly skinny Cruella D’ville in creepy black lace dress.

Sienna Miller— Huh? Looked like a backyard BBQ reject…channeling …Lily Pulitzer? Toned down makeup made the look seem overly plain and inappropriate.

Halle Berry—Didn’t like the dress or jewelry, but she still looked phenomenal.

Ben Affleck– His tux had weird pointy shoulders and looked too small– maybe shrunk in the wash?

Now for the show…..

–It was entertaining and moved quickly. Tina and Amy looked great and killed it.  Very funny without any schtick, just good writing and delivery. Their opening monologue is worth a view if you can find it on YouTube. I LOL-ed several times and was thoroughly entertained seeing the look of restrained panic on faces of singled out celebs as they waited to see if they’d be celebrated or humiliated. Also loved when Tina and Amy dressed up as random fake nominees– hilarious and creative.

Tina fey amy poehler globes host review highlights

–“Homeland” won for best drama. “Boardwalk Empire” was better this year but the Hollywood foreign press loves terror. Damien Lewis and Claire Danes’ crazy eyes won acting awards for “Homeland” too.

Adele had an adorable acceptance speech when she won for best song for “Skyfall.”

–Judging from the wild applause and immediate standing ovation, presenter Bill Clinton is bigger than Clooney. He’s like the Dalai Lama of Hollywood.

— I giggled all through Will Ferrell and Kristin Wiig’s bit, guessing what films were about from their names. Find that on YouTube too.

–Loved Jennifer Lawrence’s speech for best actress in “Silver Linings  Playbook.” Funny, self possessed, real. Anne Hathaway’s speech for “Les Miz” was sweet but lacked the same cache.

–Love, love love Lena Dunham and so happy she won for best comedy actress and best comedy….but why was she wearing shoes she couldn’t walk in??

Jodie Foster’s Cecil B DeMille award speech was um, interesting. Revealing, slightly angry, loopy, daring, and moving. I think she came out but I’m still not sure.

–Loved the kiss and sweet words Ben Affleck had for Jennifer Garner when he won for directing “Argo.” The movie also won best drama. Still can’t believe he beat out Spielberg for “Lincoln,” but Ben got no Oscar love and “Lincoln” was most nominated so maybe it will all work out in the end.

Women are making an impact in Hollywood. The show featured females in many major roles: hosts, outgoing Hollywood Foreign Press head, writers, directors, and the DeMille recipient. Maybe there’s hope for movies and TV after all.

That’s my take. Did you watch? Tell me in the comments if you agree!

Making sense of the male mind

The other day I was in the car with my family driving to my son’s basketball game. Three of my 12-year-old son, Jacob’s  friends (who are not on his team) were in the car too because — for reasons that escape me–  these boys enjoy spending every Saturday watching their friends play sports, as much as they like watching professionals on TV.

As we’re driving, one boy asked Jacob which team we were playing that day.  The conversation went something like this:

Sam:  “Dude, who are you playing today?”

Jacob: “We’re playing Ridgefield and we’re going to kill them!”

Avery: “Remember last year when you played Verona in the semis and they had that really tall kid?”

Jacob: “Yeah, we beat them and screwed up their season!”

Sam and Avery: “Oh yeah, that was sick! Wasn’t that the time Brandon went off and you had a ton of assists?”

Jacob: “Yeah, we beat them 53-50 and messed up their perfect record.”

Then my 9-year-old, Aden chimes in with yet another minute detail of a game that was played a year before, in another town.

the mind of a boy

As the mother of three little jocks, I should not be surprised by the level of minutia these boys remember about a sporting event. They spew stats and plays at each other all day long. On one level I’m impressed by their passion and commitment to sports, whether stockpiling information on their favorite pro teams or their own.

But what struck me that day in the car is that these are the same boys who can’t remember where they put their shoes 12 hours ago. The same squirts who lose track of their homework  somewhere between the kitchen table and their backpack 4 feet away.

I don’t get it.

Sometimes it’s baffling to live in a house full of males. They have their own shorthand that I will never understand. And their minds all seem to work the same way.

They could be late for school or practice and stare at a coat closet for 10 minutes, wondering why they’re there….and then wander off to kick a ball of some sort, without a care in the world about the task they just forgot.

If you ask my 9-year-old to locate something– say a hairbrush in his room– he’ll go up there and look around for 15 seconds before screaming “MOOOOOM I can’t find it.”

When I get upstairs, said hairbrush is usually in a drawer or under a pile of clothes. They take “looking” literally. They just glance around and never actually pick things up or open a drawer!

Wilson’s not much better. If I had a buck for every time he said “Have you seen  my…..” I’d be able to pay a butler to find things for him. But he can tell me the score of a Super Bowl game a decade ago or describe the comeback of the ’86 Mets as if it were yesterday.

Jacob can rattle off the stats of his favorite player on the University of Michigan basketball team on cue. He can tell you about Trey Burke’s unbelievable run, including his average points (18.6) and assists (7.3). He can also tell you what he ate for dinner on a vacation we took two years ago. But somehow he can’t remember to put a napkin on his lap when he eats.

They’re odd creatures, those little men of mine.

Maybe someday they’ll get a glimpse of how I see the world if they have the pleasure of living with a woman, or parenting a daughter.

I hope they do. Who else is going to find the hairbrush?

Coexisting with technology: one mom’s iPhone conditions

There’s a whole internet out there filled with parenting stories and advice. Some of it’s so obvious it’s a waste of my time, some so unrealistic it makes me wonder if the writer ever actually had kids.

But every once in a while I read something that resonates. If you haven’t already seen the interview with blogger Janell Hoffman of Cape Cod, Massachusetts, do yourself a favor and read the article here.

iPhone mom contract

Janell’s 13-year-old son –much like my oldest son– wanted an iPhone for Christmas. Janell thought long and hard and decided to give him one….but with a contract attached.

This wasn’t your standard AT&T group minutes deal. This was an 18-point agreement that her son, Greg, had to accept in order to use the coveted smart phone.

The contract is so brilliant, I wish I had written it myself. It’s the perfect combination of smart and tough, supportive and loving. This savvy mom wants to reward her son for being a good kid. But with privilege comes responsibility.

Her rules are reasonable. They let Greg know that sending pictures of himself and friends on Instagram is something you do once in a while because it’s fun. You don’t send inappropriate photos that will live on the internet forever, and you don’t post every 15 minutes in place of living life.

The contract is also infused with humor and sweetness that makes her message sing. Despite some of her strict boundaries on usage, Janell explains why her points are important and opens the lines of communication.

Just read it. It’s that good.

I may not have written it, but I will be sharing it with my kids when I finally cave and get them a smart phone.

Hats off to you Janell Hoffman. Greg, you’re lucky to have a thoughtful and loving mom. Live up to her standards. Make her proud. And don’t lose that phone!

Mickey as Big Brother? Disney Goes High-Tech

I read an interesting article recently about Disney World making a major technological change that could cause some controversy.  Soon park visitors will be able to buy food and souvenirs with the tap of a bracelet. You’ll be able to virtually wait on line for popular rides while enjoying another part of the park. All great changes, right? But what’s the cost?

Perhaps your privacy.

disney world image

The new “vacation management” system– quaintly called MyMagic+ — improves your park experience, while collecting data on your family.

The holy grail for most companies is gathering information about customers’ purchasing preferences. But slipping on a MyMagic+ bracelet will allow Mickey to track your every move.

The house of mouse knows how to lure its disciples. Who could resist using the new MyMagic+ app to preselect several FastPasses for popular rides, or save a prime spot to watch the parades and fireworks, or schedule a sit-down with Buzz Lightyear? There will also be some kind of magic band that will function as a room key, park ticket, and credit card.

According to the article, you’ll be able to enter personal information to a data site that will be stored and readable so when you run into Ariel the Mermaid in line for Splash Mountain, she’ll be able to personally greet your star-struck kid and even tell her happy birthday. The idea is to make your park visit as interactive as possible.

That Walt is good. He knows just how to get you.

Of course, no one will be forced to use the Magic bands and bracelets, and it will be up to you to decide which information to share. But there are privacy concerns, especially when it comes to divulging details on kids. And not everyone will like the idea of having eyes on them all over the park.

Space Mountain at Disneyland

You can read the full NY Times article for details here.

As I’ve said in previous posts, we’re Disney fans and one of the best parts of the experience is how every family member unplugs all day.  It’s one of the few places that appeals to all ages and no one even notices we’re off the grid.

I’m not sure I  need new technology distracting us. Part of the fun of the day is standing on some of those long lines, catching up with our cousins or playing games with the kids while anticipating the fun of the ride. I don’t want to be checking my smart phone or iPad several times a day to make sure I’m getting every modern advantage possible.

Disney is the leader in amusement park innovation so these high-tech changes will likely show up in other venues soon. How will this new technology affect your experience? Do you think the Magic bands will zap some of the charm out of the Disney adventure? Let me know in the comments.

My kids are hounding me for a dog

Aden's a dog's best friend

Aden’s a dog’s best friend

Our family was dog-sitting this week for Wilson’s brother’s dog, an adorable mutt named Ranger.  (When he was a puppy, he had black spots around his eyes that looked like the Lone Ranger’s mask.) We’ve taken care of Ranger before, but each time,  the pressure intensifies to get a dog of our own.

I like dogs and know that it would enrich my kids’ lives if they had a pooch, but I didn’t grow up with one. My mother dislikes and fears most animals and my father chose not to fight that battle. Wilson didn’t grow up with animals either so we’re clueless and intimidated by the idea of adding a dog to our family.

My middle son, 9-year-old Aden, is my most challenging child. He acts tough, but can be sensitive and moody.  But he loves animals. Every book he has taken out of the library since kindergarten has been about animals.  When we visit friends, he gravitates towards dogs more than other kids. He instinctively knows how to talk to them, pet them, love them.

I’ve resisted getting a dog because my youngest, 7-year-old Eli, was still having accidents until about a year ago. After 12 consistent years of changing diapers and throwing away stained Batman undies,  I wanted at least one poop-free year.

Eli giving Ranger some love

Eli giving Ranger some love

Many of our friends have gotten dogs in the last few years. I’ve seen their adorable, floppy puppies attracting the attention of excited kids and swooning adults and felt the pang of desire.

Our Fido-loving friends can’t imagine their lives without them and I’ve seen them treat their dogs with the same concern and adoration (sometimes more) that they have for their kids. It’s sweet.

It also scares the crap out of me.

I think about the long walks in the freezing cold, the chewed up furniture and toys, and the neediness of a puppy in its first six months.

I have three energetic boys who don’t listen to a word I say and a husband to whom I don’t pay nearly enough attention. I work part-time in the city and part-time at home and I have several volunteer and house obligations.  Do I really want yet another living creature depending on me?

The kids say they’ll help with the responsibilities and I believe they want to. But the reality is I’ll be the main caretaker of the dog. The only way I would get a dog would be if we had a trainer or obedience classes because we don’t know the first thing about food, schedules, or behavior. But that’s more time and energy.

Aden and Eli walked Ranger many times this week and played with him a lot. But when the novelty wears off, will I be nagging them to take the dog out like I do to clean their rooms?

I loved the infancy and baby stage of parenthood so taking care of a puppy and being needed in that way is appealing to me. But I know there will be plenty of times I won’t feel like standing on the sidewalk for the thousandth time in 20- degree weather waiting for it to take a leak…or coming home early from a party because it’s been alone in the house too long…or worrying about it when it’s sick.

Ranger is over a year old but still pooped in our front hall at least 6 times this week and peed inside twice. I’m sure part of it is different surroundings and missing his own family, but sometimes dogs just poop on the rug.

I’m not so psyched about that.

While I would love to rescue a dog, Eli has allergies so we need a non shedding pup. With the wide range of breeds out there, I’ll need to do ample research to  choose the right dog for our family.

It sounds like I’m hesitating as I voice my anxiety, but I know it’s not a matter of if, but when for us. When I see Aden cuddling on the couch with Ranger I know he needs a dog. He’s actually better behaved and more relaxed with a dog around.

He’s one of those kids who feels things deeply but can’t communicate his needs. Being around animals brings out his best self and perhaps makes him feel an unconditional love and understanding he may not feel from humans, even the ones who love him most.

How can I deny him something that would be such a positive influence?

I’m sure all you dog lovers will say just do it! Anyone want to share stories about the challenges? What breeds would you recommend? Please educate and encourage me in the comments.