My son’s bar mitzvah is next weekend and we’re having a party to celebrate. It started out small but — as these things often do– it grew into a bigger event than we imagined.
We wanted to mark this special occasion with friends and family so we decided to go for it and host a Saturday night cocktail party. My head has been swimming with details but one of the most daunting items on the long to-do list was making myself presentable to the scores of people who will be staring at us for several hours next Saturday.
I took a long hard look at my saggy self and decided I need a lift, in many areas.
I wear makeup and try to maintain a sense of style in my clothes and accessories, but I had not revamped my look for a long while and it was time. I’m not getting any younger and need help to look my best.
I thought I’d share some of the steps I took to get ready for the big event, and feel a bit better about myself. Most of these are easy changes and none of them break the bank. Perhaps it will be useful to you as a checklist the next time you have a big party or celebration.
–Personal shopper
I had to find something to wear so I took a leap and made an appointment with a personal shopper at Bloomingdales. I’ve never done it before but was surprised to learn it’s a free service! It was like having a fairygodshopper of my very own. Before the appointment I filled out a form with my style preferences, and showed up to a room full of dresses, shoes, and accessories, all tailored to my taste. I spent a couple hours trying on dresses and every time I needed shoes to match, this magic lady snapped her fingers and sparkling new shoes in my size appeared. I found some great dresses for the bar mitzvah and other parties, and she gave me some handy tips for improving my look that didn’t cost a fortune or require surgery. It was the perfect beginning to my lady transformation…..
–New intimate wear
One huge piece of advice my fairygodshopper offered was replacing my bra. This is one of those no-duh tactics that I probably would not have thought of on my own. Of course I knew I needed some new bras– many of mine are stretched out– but when she conjured up a new one for me as I tried on dresses, it was like an instant boob job. Sometimes it takes a poke on the shoulder to prompt you to look in the mirror and see an obvious need for change. (New underwear is nice too. My fairygodshopper says it’s the foundation for every great outfit.)
–Salt scrub
If you’re planning to go bare-legged in your new dress, it’s a good idea to exfoliate. It sounds like a lovely idea but just doesn’t make the cut in my busy day. But since I’m preparing for a special occasion, I’m more motivated. I bought a loofah and basic salt scrub from the drug store ($15) and rub it on my arms and legs for a few minutes in the shower a few times a week leading up to the event. It gets rid of dead skin from winter and makes my limbs silky smooth, almost like having a wax. Who knew?
–Make up overhaul
I wear makeup every day but I hadn’t changed up my routine or products for many years. And these days I have more to hide. The bar mitzvah was a great excuse to find a cosmetic cure for my tired face. People are going to be looking at me all day and night and I don’t want to look washed out in the pictures. I like MAC makeup so I made an appointment for a free makeover. The deal is they don’t charge to paint your face, but you’re strongly encouraged to spend $50 on products at the end. I loved what my artist did to even out my skin and erase the tiny lines invading my face. She suggested some new colors for my eyes and cheeks that gave me a fresher look, but I still felt like me. I purchased several products but my favorite is the tinted moisturizer because it’s lighter than liquid foundation, moisturizes instead of dries, and even has SPF to protect your skin. You can buy it here.
–Nude fish net stockings
The dress I bought is a light pink and I have nude pumps to go with it. But it’s the end of winter and my salt scrubbed legs are glowing and smooth but still pasty pale. Plus it’s still cold so bare legs didn’t seem like a great option. When a salesgirl recommended nude fish net stockings I dismissed the notion immediately. The idea of my healthy thighs seeping through the holes of fish nets was abhorrent. But a friend leant me her pair and I was shocked at how good they looked. These aren’t streetwalker’s fish nets, they’re stretchy tights that suck you in while disappearing completely. You get the effect of a bare leg but the tightening of hose, keeping anything jiggly in place. They are genius!
You don’t need a special event to revamp your look, but it’s always a nice inspiration. I have a friend who treats herself every year on her birthday. There’s never a bad time to feel good about yourself.
carpool candy 
My kid’s obsessed with Instagram
My oldest son, Jacob, has only been a teenager for a few weeks, yet we’re already arguing about his use of technology.
You may recall a few months ago I posted about him begging me for a smart phone and a Facebook page. My feeling– backed up by Wilson- is that I don’t want to incur the extra cost of a smart phone and its maintenance, and I don’t want him having access to the internet whenever he feels like it. That can only lead to trouble.
I’m not naive enough to think these privileges aren’t going to happen in the near future, but I’d like to hold out as long as possible. Every day he’s learning and maturing and hopefully when I’m forced to give in, he will have that much more smarts to make the right decisions.
13 is a significant birthday and for Jews, becoming a bar mitzvah– which Jacob will do next month– is a big deal. So his grandparents wanted to get him a special gift and suggested an iPad mini.
At first I balked, thinking it was too much. But then I realized that we would not spend the money on a tech luxury like that for him right now and he would probably love it.
It’s been life changing.
One the plus side, it’s made Jacob more independent and self-sufficient. He had more apps on that thing in 2 days than I’ve ever had, on all my devices combined. He has it set up so he gets the weather (no more barging into my room to see the forecast every morning,) his favorite sports teams scores (no need for computer time instead of eating breakfast,) and his own camera.
He never cared much for a camera before but now he needs it to post on Instagram. Before I knew it, he was signed up and posting pix on Instagram almost hourly.
At first, I was concerned. I’m not on Instagram and didn’t know how to use it. I had banned him from Facebook and Google Plus but now, without even discussing it, he was right in the Insta-mix, gathering likes and friends like a magnet in a nail factory.
He spends hours every week making photo collages, scrolling through friends’ feeds and commenting on comments of pictures. I’m told his interest will wane after the novelty wears off, but he’s a social animal so I can see this becoming a powerful habit.
This is why I didn’t want him to have a smart phone. The lack of control and the complete abandon with which he jumped into the social media landscape makes me uncomfortable.
But then he was so happy to be part of the conversation, he told me he no longer needed a fancy phone. I realized that the iPad was the best short term compromise, because he has the social engagement and internet access he wants, but only at home (he doesn’t have 3G so can only use it with wifi) where its use can be monitored. He doesn’t take it to school or sports so the chances it gets damaged, lost, or stolen are slim.
What I didn’t count on was the obsessive use. Unless we take it away, the kid is clutching that device from the moment he wakes up until it falls out of his grip when he’s overcome by sleep at night. In addition to Instagram, he’s streaming TV shows, playing games, and Googling most thoughts that enter his head.
Ick.
Welcome to modern parenting: limiting screen time and helping kids understand the importance of electronic-free activities. Jacob is a great student who does his homework before play time, and a busy athlete with many practices and games. When with his gang of boys after school, they often play sports outside, but our recent freezing, snowy weather has encouraged more inside activities, and TV and video games are too tempting.
Last weekend our family drove into Manhattan for the day and the kids played on iPads during the 30 minute trip in. But on the way home, there was an uproar when we took them away.
“Look out the window! See the world! Listen to the radio! Let your mind wander!” I yelled from the front seat as Jacob rolled his eyes and grunted. He managed to get through the ride but asked for the iPad as soon as we got home. We refused.
It’s a battle we’ll be fighting for the rest of time.
So I had a problem– Jacob wanted a smart phone– that I thought I solved when he got an iPad…but that created a new problem. He’s only 13, and my first of three kids to go through technology adjustments and teen angst.
I better buckle up.
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Posted in Joys of Parenting, Modern Life, Social Media
Tagged instagram teen use, ipad mini for teens, kid obsessed with instagram, kids and social media, kids commenting on instagram, kids liking instagram pictures, kids making instagram collages, kids obsessed with social media, kids too much screen time, limiting kids screen time, parenting and technology, parents limiting kids screen time