Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuce!

The Boss Rocks the Rock 5/2/12

Last night, Wilson and I and some friends went to see Bruce Springsteen play at The Rock/Prudential Center in Newark. Few things make me as happy as seeing Bruce live.  As I went about my day yesterday–writing and shuttling kids around– I had butterflies and a perma-grin every time I thought about going to the concert.

I’ve been a Boss fan since the first time I listened to “Thunder Road. ” It was a cassette of the album in my friend Andy Florsheim’s new blue Sony Walkman (remember that first Walkman with the big fuzzy orange headphone pads?)  circa 1980. I was in seventh grade and it was the first music I remember listening to that I had discovered on my own, without parental influence.  I’ve been devoted to his music ever since, and have probably seen him more than 15 times in concert.

My first show was in 1985 on the “Born in the USA” tour where I had a general admission standing spot on the floor at Soldier Field in Chicago.  I was 17 and some random drunk guy put me up on his shoulders during “Born to Run” and I thought I would burst from the adrenalin rush.  All my Bruce concert experiences since have been similar to a rollercoaster: a thrilling, screaming ride.

There’s something about his music that stirs memories and makes me feel young and somehow invincible. The stadium is packed, everyone’s belting out the words and dancing, while remembering different moments in their lives when Bruce’s music provided comfort and joy.  When you have that many people in one space putting out positive energy, it’s an electrifying high.

Bruce gets down and dirty with his fans

He knows the fans won’t let him down

Bruce and Stevie mugging for the cameras

His latest album, “Wrecking Ball” is about the sad state of our country when it comes to taking care of the poor and middle class, many of whom have lost jobs  and homes in recent years, while the rich keep getting richer.  I love that Bruce makes me think about the bigger picture by singing from his heart about things that matter. The music would be enough, but he takes it to another level with his powerful message of understanding, redemption, hope and peace.

He plays preacher in the church of Rock and Roll and gets his faithful followers  up on their feet as he bangs his guitar and shakes that famous denimed ass. The guy is 62 and runs around on stage like a teenager for three hours, night after night. That alone is worth the ticket price.

Every woman in the stadium wanted to be this girl plucked from the crowd for “Dancing in the Dark”

Highlights for me at last night’s show were opening with “No Surrender,” hearing “Candy’s Room” into “She’s the One” and “Waitin’ on a Sunny Day.” He picked a sign out of the audience asking for a song by Levon Helm of The Band, to honor his death last month. Bruce reflected on Helm’s talent before playing a great version of “The Weight.” (For the full set list look here )

The encore didn’t disappoint, starting with “Born to Run” into “Dancing in the Dark,” and “Rosalita.”  They closed the show with a long and crazy “10th Avenue Freeze Out,” which paid homage to Big Man Clarence Clemons, who died almost a year ago. Clarence’s  nephew, Jake Clemons, has joined the E Street Band and held his own on sax and stage presence.

The Big Man

…..honored

during 10th Ave Freeze-Out

I wore my “Born in the USA” concert shirt from 1985 proudly last night. Bruce and the band will be back in the swamps of Jersey in September. I don’t have tickets yet but I know if I show a little faith, there’ll be magic in the night.

After last night, I’ve got to be there for the next show, with my 27-year-old t-shirt and my dancing shoes…. feeling like I’m 17 again.

Rock a Bye Maxi!

We waited. We watched. We clucked our tongues in sympathy.

But after months of red carpet muumuu moments and too many personal pregnancy details, it finally happened kids. Jessica Simpson’s baby has arrived.

Photo from Elle Magazine

It seemed like that squirt was never gonna come out, but today Simpson gave birth to her first child: a daughter named Maxwell Drew Johnson.

If you’re planning to send a gift, skip the newborn size because Maxwell weighed in at 9 pounds, 13 ounces. OUCH! I hope she had an epidural.

I’m not going to say anything about the name. It’s classic Hollywood to try to out-crazy one’s peers with an avant-garde name. Except now unconventional names for kids of stars are so….. conventional. Calling her Maxi could be cute, though.

I’m sure we’ll be seeing her decked out in Bon Pointe cashmere and Louboutin booties soon enough. And I can’t wait for the photo spread in OK of her designer nursery and closet full of clothes worth more than my minivan.

Stars aren’t really just like us… except at 3AM when their baby’s crying. That baby joy is the same for everyone.

Oversharing on Social Media

What do you want to share?

I have complained– in this space and others– about how I hate getting old. But there was an article in the New York Times this week about the new relationship rules regarding social media, that made me glad I’m a geezer.

Most of my friends and family are baffled by Twitter and have never heard of Pinterest so I’m not too worried about my birthday party locations or paint colors being outed in public.  Frankly, I wish I had more to hide.

While many of my contemporaries do post on Facebook, it’s all still new so there is a sense of decorum and respect in their timelines that apparently is not always the case with the younger generation.

Those crazy kids today are Tweeting about how their dates are going from the bathroom of the bar. They’re on their blogs lamenting about their stilted sex  lives or posting photos of romantic vacations without asking permission.

According to the article, some couples recommend ground rule discussions on the first date about what parts of their relationship will be fair to post to their entire contact lists.

Some plugged-in peops are having arguments over social media for sport. I’ve seen celebrities like Jason Jones and Samantha Bee from “The Daily Show”  write passive-aggressive Tweets about each other, presumably from the same couch.

Remember talking? Long phone conversations that ended with  “You hang up. No, you hang up!”

Now there’s no need to call in the first place if you can flirt, fight, and break up all on your smart phone, and await commentary from the online peanut gallery.

I guess I’m lucky that Wilson has no interest in social media. He used Facebook just a few times to spy on old high school acquaintances and although I made him get on Twitter to follow me (@carpoolcandy)  he has no idea how it works.  12-year-old Jacob is desperate to get on Facebook but I see no reason for another distraction that seems to have no benefits for a kid. He’s already on Skype and Apple Facetime and texts until his fingers are numb.

But I know he’ll be on the social media bandwagon soon enough and I’ll have to come up with my own ground rules for appropriate usage.  Maybe then when I want Jacob to clean his room, I’ll  take a photo of the heaping piles and post it on Facebook to shame him into doing the job. Ah, the wonders of technology.

Read the Times article here:  http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/26/fashion/for-couples-new-source-of-online-friction.html

Today Show: Right Stuff or Light Fluff?

“Today” / NBC/Universal

I was happy to hear that reality TV stars Giuliana and Bill Rancic are having a baby via surrogate. They’ve had a long (and over-documented) journey to parenthood, with fertility problems and Giuliana’s surprise breast cancer diagnosis last year. They seem like nice people (although perhaps oddly willing to publicize their most personal and painful experiences on national television) who deserve the joy of starting a family.

This is the kind of news you would expect to hear at a family dinner or on a personal phone call from a friend. But in our twisted world where reality stars make their living off sharing intimate details, we might expect to hear it on an entertainment show or Twitter.

Yet NBC promoted the hell out of the “exclusive” all morning, before the sit-down interview with the couple in the 8:00am hour.

Is this the best “Today” can do for news and information? I could see a 30 second voice-over at the end of the news segment, or a live interview with the Rancics on the fourth hour of “Today,” which is dedicated to entertainment and family stories.  But with everything going on in the world, with all the resources of the number one morning show, with the amazing staff that show requires, this tidbit was worth several minutes in the second hour of the show?

It’s just one of many examples of entertainment and pop culture stories taking over news shows. I’m old school because I’ve worked in news since my first college internship in 1988.  Back then, this kind of fluff would never be pitched for fear of ridicule.

But standards have changed and these stories score high ratings so news shows are under pressure to cater to our lowbrow interest in the Duggers’ 20th baby, Mel Gibson’s latest rant, and every Kate Middleton outfit.

I only have 30 minutes to absorb the news before I start my day. I prefer my newscasts to explain world events and introduce me to newsmakers that inspire change. What’s going on in Afghanistan? Tell me the latest medical breakthrough or a great story about teachers.

I hate that complaining makes me sound like an out-of-touch old-timer. I lap up celebrity gossip as much as the next teenaged girl, but can’t we keep it in the pages of People and Gawker?

Low Moments of Parenthood

Raising kids is the best job in the world, right? How about the parts that aren’t so rosy?  I had a rock bottom behavior incident with my kids recently that brought out all my worst traits.

I’m risking humiliation and scorn in sharing it with you to open a dialogue and maybe even laugh about those inevitable low moments in parenting, when you’re glad you can’t get fired from the job.

I’m not—and have never been—a morning person, so the school prep routine is always a challenging time for our family. Wilson gets up and does his thing and walks 8-year-old Aden to school most mornings. But the bulk of the grooming, feeding, cleaning, and lunch-making duties for my boys (ages 6, 8 and 12) are up to me.

As you may have noticed, I watch a load of TV. But keeping up with the bountiful shows in our repertoire often keeps us up late.  It’s not unusual for me to slip into REM on the couch and instead of going to bed,  pushing through to my third wind to sneak in another episode of  “Mad Men” or “How I Met Your Mother.”

But my passion for programs bites me in the ass when I have to get up at 7am to get the kids off to school.  Although I know better, I don’t make lunches the night before, nor do I go through the backpacks as thoroughly as I should when the kids get home. So our mornings are always chaotic, rushed, and loud.

On one recent morning when 12-year-old picky Jacob was making sassy complaints about the lack of lunch options at Carpool Candy Café, I started to lose patience.  The next 20 minutes before I pushed them out the door with my ranting and raving is a bit of a blur.  I’m pretty sure someone spilled juice, two of them avoiding taking their vitamins, and one asked me to sign a permission slip without time to read the fine print.

What I do remember is being blindingly angry. The potential for bad behavior was as high as my blood pressure, so I stomped dramatically upstairs and into my room to try to breathe through the aggravation.  Poor Wilson was caught on my warpath as I started screaming at him about the unmitigated gall of our ungrateful and smart-mouthed children.  Not knowing the first thing to do to calm me down when I’m in this state, he stared at me wide-eyed as I blew past him into the bathroom.

At that moment I needed to show the world how furious I was about the injustice of a spurned salami sandwich.  With gleaming eyes and heaving breath, I looked frantically around for a place to sit and brood, and spied the toilet. All my rage and frustration came to a head (so to speak) as I slammed the toilet lid down with all my mommy strength.

 

The Cracked Commode

Imagine my horror when it broke in half! I burst into tears as I realized my ironically childish lack of control caused me to damage the toilet.  It was not only embarrassing, but created an annoying and expensive errand to fix.

How’s that for low?

Wilson– either understanding and forgiving or too scared to make it worse– told me it was all ok. The kids had already moved on and when I saw them after school, they had no memory of the crime.

I, however, am reminded of how quickly and easily I can lose it over inconsequential things… every time I have to pee.

This is only one in a series of low moments in my parenting journey.  Can you top a cracked can? Please share your embarrassing stories in the comments.

RIP Dick Clark

This is how I’ll remember Dick Clark

I was sorry to hear about Dick Clark’s death this week and wasn’t surprised by the outpouring of sympathy and respect that followed.  Dick was as big a part of my Saturday morning routine as pancakes and bacon. I remember lazy days, lounging around in my Holly Hobbie nightgown, watching “American Bandstand” with my brother while my dad read the paper and my mom cleaned the kitchen.

I loved seeing the kids dancing with their fancy disco clothes and toothy TV smiles.  I was listening to Donna Summer and Bee Gees LP’s on our stereo and making up dance moves to “Grease” back then so “American Bandstand” had everything  a preteen girl could want.

And who didn’t watch Dick every New Year’s Rockin Eve? There was something comforting about seeing the ball drop with him, whether I was stuck home with my parents, making a fool of myself after too many cocktails in my 20’s, or– in recent years– gathered with a bunch of friends and our kids in front of the TV.

He was a pop culture icon that I might have taken for granted, especially in the post stroke years when I wondered why he still chose to be on TV.  Now that he’s gone, I realize that his enduring presence in music and TV was the backdrop and soundtrack for many memories, all of them fond.

I love Ryan Seacrest, but there was only one Dick Clark. I’ll miss him.

What’s For Dinner?!

Is there a phrase in the family lexicon more odious and gut-punching than “What’s for dinner?”

 

That maddening query rarely comes from my husband. Wilson will happily eat anything. No joke, he loves airplane food, various game meat, even gefilte fish.

It’s my hungry, exasperating kids who march through the door from school and– before they can dump their backpacks– brazenly spit out,” What’s for dinner?”…like they’re challenging me to a duel.

I enjoy simple cooking and strive for healthy food whenever possible. Much to my kids’ disappointment, the only time we see the Golden Arches is on a road trip or at the airport a few times a year.  But trying to feed them healthy food that they’ll eat is a constant challenge.

Each week, I serve many meals while serving many mini masters. Wouldn’t it be grand if all three of my boys (ages 6, 8, and 12) liked the same foods? Eli doesn’t like steak and is allergic to nuts and shellfish. Aden will eat broccoli but hates beans, and sweet potatoes.  Jacob doesn’t like turkey and will only eat the bottoms of asparagus (who doesn’t like the tips?!) They love pasta but one likes it plain, one with red sauce and no meat and the other with meat sauce but no onions.

It’s exhausting.

Like most moms, my days are packed with work, errands, phone calls, emails and shuttling the kids to activities…not to mention keeping the house from post-tornado conditions.  Often I get to the 4pm witching hour– when dinner is looming– and my good intentions in the morning got pushed down on the priority list and I have no meal plan.

Even if I’m on my game, prepared a menu, and had the forethought to defrost something,  “What’s for dinner?” still makes me clench my teeth and want to flee.

It’s like the only obstacle between my family eating a delicious, healthy meal and starving to death …is me.

It’s entirely too much pressure.

No matter what I put on the plates, someone’s not going to be happy and it will be my fault.  Like all parents, I hate to fail. Even one forsaken fish filet can set me off.

I know I’ll never please all the people all the time and I should just make the meal and move on.

Another answer to “What’s for dinner?”

“We’re eating out. “

My Top 7 to Follow on Twitter

Curious about Twitter but need to know who to follow? Let me help.

Twitter turned 6 years old last week. Hard to believe it’s been around that long—it wasn’t on my radar until about a year and a half ago. Now I can’t stop. It’s my guilty pleasure and sometimes my enemy.

I started out slow, intimidated by how to use it. Hashtags and retweets were confusing. I was so green about the blue bird. But it’s not brain surgery, kids. Now I’m versed in its wonder and addicted to the camaraderie it offers. It’s probably the former news producer in me, but I find cruising Twitter extremely satisfying.

I’ve tried to lure in my techno-phobic family and friends by explaining it’s like a worldwide water cooler. You go to Twitter to be part of the conversation.

Sounds like Facebook you say? Yes, it’s a similar social media model. But it’s more interesting when I’m in control of content.  Whom I follow is my choice and I can unfollow in a heartbeat, with no hard feelings.

It’s difficult to say no to friending on Facebook, even if I don’t have the slightest interest in my former colleague’s trip to Vegas or kid haircut photos from a high school acquaintance.

On Twitter I can stalk celebrities safely, much like reading the star sightings in gossip mags—but live. I can read what Courteney Cox is doing in NYC and what Arianna Huffington thought of the State of the Union address, in real-time. I turn to Twitter when news events happen— like an earthquake, political debate, Whitney Houston’s death, or award shows– to see what people are talking about.

Tweets can only be 140 characters so there’s a creative challenge to say a lot in few words. You waste less time reading through long posts and comments. I can stroll through my Twitter feed while on line at the grocery store.

Many of you naysayers will claim you don’t need another time suck. I agree. It’s tragic how many hours I’ve lost going through the “follow” lists of people I follow. It’s not efficient or productive, but it’s fun.

If you haven’t already, give it a whirl. It takes two secs to sign up and I’ll give you a few Twitter favorites to follow:

@crushabledotcom (entertainment scoop with some edge)

@AliEWentworth (funny bits from a regular mom in a famous life)

@chucktodd (NBC Newsguy Tweets intelligently abt politics and sports)

@ryanseacrest (Tweets during Idol commercials, has insider music info)

@DannyZuker (“Modern Family” writer, hilarious and often offensive)

@iamsambee (“Daily Show’s” Samantha Bee owns mommy sarcasm)

@sethmeyers21 (“SNL” head writer makes many funnies in few words)

Who do you follow on Twitter? Tell me in the comments and don’t forget to follow me @carpoolcandy!

 

 

I’m So Over Chicken Fingers

Credit: Mee-Sun Y.

Credit: Mee-Sun Y.

 My kids — like most–  love chicken fingers. I usually don’t mind them and have even helped myself to leftovers when my boys don’t clean their plate. But we just returned from spring break in Florida where my children (ages 6, 8 and 12)   ate more fried fowl than I ever want to see again.

I’m kind of a stickler for nutrition so vacation is their time to spurn the spinach and embrace the junk. They get sweet cereal for the week (Lucky Charms and Cookie Crisp are favs) and I hold my tongue when they choose fast food. In our regular routine at home, we don’t eat out often, but when we’re forced to frequent restaurants for all our meals, the kids’ menu gets old fast.

Most restaurants offer the fatty four: hot dogs, hamburgers, pasta, and chicken fingers– usually stacked next to a teeming pile of fries. I’m not a fan of the nitrates in a hot dog,  my kids aren’t big meat eaters, and pasta puts them in carb overload with no protein. That leaves chicken fingers as the most “sensible” choice.

Where’s the regard for basic nutrition?  How about scrambled eggs and a fruit cup? Or spaghetti with meatballs instead of a half cup of butter. My kingdom for a piece of protein not deep-fried in oil with a green vegetable on the side!

At one point in the week, 6-year-old Eli was feeding on fingers twice a day. He had no issue with it, but watching him bathe his chicken and fries in ketchup was starting to make me ill. I ordered  salads with every meal, hoping he would eat off my plate. My boys actually like many vegetables but they take an “out of sight, out of mind” attitude towards healthy food while on vacation.

There’s also the drink dilemma. Often when we go out, we let the kids order soda or lemonade, instead of their usual milk or water with meals. It’s a special treat they treasure. But when we were eating out for every meal, they were downing 2-3 sugary glasses a day. When I tried to set limits, they all sneered at me like I was the Wicked Witch, spoiling their innocent fun.

I believe in moderation so I’m willing to restrain my instincts on vacation.  At home again, reality sets in and it’s back to balanced breakfasts and veggies at dinner. Chicken fingers will be off the menu for a while. I feel better and deep, deep down, they do too.

My 7 Favorite Things To Do In Key West

It’s family “Vacation” time in Florida this week. We may not be the Griswolds from one of Wilson’s favorite 80’s movies, but we’re darn close. We packed up the kids and headed to Key West for a few packed days of sun and consumption. My in-laws have lived in Key West for almost 10 years so they’re practically natives, or “conchs,” as they’re called locally. We’ve visited many times and always wish we could stay longer.

Key West is a great place for kids and has a unique vibe you won’t experience anywhere else. Its rich history goes back hundreds of years and its architecture is a combination of anti-Bellum South with Caribbean flair. On the main drag, Duval Street, there’s a bar every 12 feet, and t-shirt shops galore.  A fisherman’s town on the water, it would be tough to find a restaurant without fresh fish leaping off the menu.

With kids or without, Key West is one of my favorite vacation destinations. Here are a few reasons why:

Yoga at Ft Zachary State Park Beach, Key West, FL

Yoga on the Beach

Whether you’re a beginner or a regular on the mat, practicing yoga in a natural setting takes the experience to a new level. Listening to the crash of waves and feeling a soft breeze under the trees as you stare at the blue horizon makes anyone feel like they can do a headstand. An energizing and peaceful start to your day.  http://yogaonbeach.com/classes/key-west-yoga/

Tuna Nachos at Schooner’s Wharf

It would be wrong to have a favorite list that doesn’t include food. Fried wontons covered with sushi-grade raw tuna, drizzled with soy dressing, and sprinkled with scallions and seaweed. I can’t explain why this makes my mouth sing. You must try it yourself!

Henna Tattoos on Duval Street

This was my second year getting inked. I’m not a risk taker and probably will never have the guts to commit to a real tattoo so the temporary henna is as close to skydiving as I’m gonna get. This year I took 12 year old Jacob, who chose a flaming basketball for his forearm. We are both absurdly proud of our tats and wish they would last longer than two weeks.

Sunsets at Mallory Square

Mallory Square is probably the largest public space closest to the Southern Most Point in theU.S. so it’s where people gather to watch nature show off. As the sun sinks slowly into theGulf of Mexico, the sky turns colors of red, orange, and pink that almost look fake, they’re so stunning. The square also draws street performers of all ages and talents who take advantage of the large crowds to try to amaze and cajole the tourists into forking over money to watch them eat fire, ride unicycles, balance sideways on ladders, and break out of chains while inside a box. My boys watch each act with mouths agape.

Key Lime Pie and Conch Fritters

If you get to Mallory Square, find the food truck that sells conch fritters, as some say they’re the best in town. Conch is a chewy fish that gets ground up and fried into balls of crunchiness, similar to a crab cake but with its own flavor. This local delicacy is served best with tangy tarter sauce.  And for dessert……Key Lime pie is one of Wilson’s favorite treats and also hard to avoid in Key West. This one from the restaurant at the Pier House Resort was special because of the flamed meringue top and graham cracker crust. Yum.

Land and Sea Creatures

My kids love all the animals they see roaming around Key West. Geckos run rampant and luckily move too fast to catch or I’d be coming home with a bucket full. We also saw giant iguanas scurrying in the bushes and climbing on palm trees, and chickens are as common as pigeons down there. No one looks twice at a crowing rooster prancing down Duval Street, avoiding the drunken college kids and bicycles. This year we also took a boat tour and saw sharks and dolphins, which my kids will be talking about for months.

The Attitude

Conchs are cool. You can usually tell the locals from the tourists pretty easily in Key West. While the sunburned cruise ship day trippers and college spring breakers are wearing “Sorry I’m Drunk” t-shirts and downing rumrunners with parasols, the conchs sport that deep wrinkly tan that never fades and carry fishing rods and beer bottles. Conchs are friendly and real and I’ve never met one who didn’t have a story to tell that cracked me up or broke my heart.

We can’t wait for our next adventure in Key West. Let me know in the comments if you have any favorites for 2013!