Category Archives: Social Media

My son is so over me

Posted on February 3, 2013 | 4 comments

So it happened.

It was one of those moments you hear about from parents of older children, but you hope won’t happen to you. My oldest son, Jacob, was embarrassed to be seen with me.

It makes sense of course, and is totally age appropriate. He actually turns 13 tomorrow. But still I felt shock and dismay when he told me in no uncertain terms not to pick him up from a family friend’s bat mitzvah party this weekend.

He’s been a playa with the ladies since he was 5– practicing the art of flirting with his kindergarten teacher and mastering it in recent years with a regular gaggle of preteen girls. I get why he doesn’t want me weakening his game.

But he and I have a special relationship. He’s a talker– like his mom– so he frequently confides in me about friends, school, and girls, and seems to value my opinion. I have a nice bond with his gang of boys and they’re always eager to chat when I see them, so I can’t be a complete loser among his peers.

Jacob and me bonding

He had a basketball game and had to leave the party early so I was going to bring him his uniform and pop in for 5 minutes to say mazel tov to the event hosts. But Jacob was having none of it. Our text conversation went something like this:

Cool mom:   I’m going to bring your stuff at 240p. 

Mortified son:  NO! I have nowhere to put it. and you’re not invited. You’re not coming. Seriously, that’s so annoying.

Cool mom:  I’m coming for 5 minutes.

Mortified son: Well, I’ll be gone. Bring it to the game. Don’t come. What is your problem? I don’t want you here. 

Cool mom:  I’ll be there at 2p and I’ll only stay for an hour. I’m wearing a bikini and carrying sparklers and balloons. See you soon!!!

Mortified son:  Be quiet don’t come!

Cool mom:  Go have fun at the party. 

Mortified son:  Meet me at the game.

Cool mom:  Love you too!!

When I got there, he was leaving and barely acknowledged me as I handed him his bag.

It’s funny. But it’s also a moment that changes everything. His face no longer lights up when I walk in a room. He doesn’t want to share his world with me the way he once did. He’s growing up.

Next weekend our whole family was invited to another bar mitzvah and Jacob is pissed. He actually demanded we decline the invitation so he can hang with his friends without us invading his space.

teen embarrassed by parents
Jacob & his bros enjoying a party

I told him– in the kindest of ways– that we were actually looking forward to cocktails and dancing with our friends and didn’t plan to cramp his style. We had to promise we won’t approach or speak to him when he’s with his friends.

The bargaining over our family’s “appropriate behavior” in front of his friends got so eye-rollingly ridiculous that we started torturing him for sport. Every day for a week, Wilson would yell “Hey Jacob, how do you like my moves?” and then dance like a freak, to the howls and giggles of his brothers….and then “Bet you can’t wait to see me on the dance floor at the party!” 

Jacob is not happy.

His only saving grace to the whole family being invited to this party is that his 7-year-old brother, Eli, is the greatest wing man ever. There’ll be girls all over him.

Eli getting girls at family party
Eli getting girls at family party

But Jacob still wishes we’d just stay home.

I get it. I was 13 once too. So I’ll try my hardest not to embarrass him next weekend and only peek in his direction when I know he’s not looking.

And hope that he still tells me all about it when we get home.

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Posted in I'm a Sap, Joys of Parenting, Modern Life, Social Media

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Coexisting with technology: one mom’s iPhone conditions

Posted on January 8, 2013 | 1 comment

There’s a whole internet out there filled with parenting stories and advice. Some of it’s so obvious it’s a waste of my time, some so unrealistic it makes me wonder if the writer ever actually had kids.

But every once in a while I read something that resonates. If you haven’t already seen the interview with blogger Janell Hoffman of Cape Cod, Massachusetts, do yourself a favor and read the article here.

iPhone mom contract

Janell’s 13-year-old son –much like my oldest son– wanted an iPhone for Christmas. Janell thought long and hard and decided to give him one….but with a contract attached.

This wasn’t your standard AT&T group minutes deal. This was an 18-point agreement that her son, Greg, had to accept in order to use the coveted smart phone.

The contract is so brilliant, I wish I had written it myself. It’s the perfect combination of smart and tough, supportive and loving. This savvy mom wants to reward her son for being a good kid. But with privilege comes responsibility.

Her rules are reasonable. They let Greg know that sending pictures of himself and friends on Instagram is something you do once in a while because it’s fun. You don’t send inappropriate photos that will live on the internet forever, and you don’t post every 15 minutes in place of living life.

The contract is also infused with humor and sweetness that makes her message sing. Despite some of her strict boundaries on usage, Janell explains why her points are important and opens the lines of communication.

Just read it. It’s that good.

I may not have written it, but I will be sharing it with my kids when I finally cave and get them a smart phone.

Hats off to you Janell Hoffman. Greg, you’re lucky to have a thoughtful and loving mom. Live up to her standards. Make her proud. And don’t lose that phone!

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Posted in In the News, Modern Life, Social Media

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Best 2012 year-end lists and photos, so far

Posted on December 23, 2012 | 1 comment

Best Of 2012 graphic

I’m a huge fan of year-in-review pieces. Memorable TV moments, best books, funniest tweets…you name it– I love a good wrap-up list.

I scanned the interweb for some good ones you can peruse during this slow holiday week. Click on the links below to get to the lists.

If you like your refresher in one quick shot– USAToday.com has a 60-second year in review of news events with compelling photos. The site also has more photo reviews in sports, music and politics.

Yahoo has several roundups of events including a comprehensive  top 10 news stories of the year.

This was the year I became a Twitter addict. I’m not necessarily proud of it but I can’t seem to stop (#convert). Time magazine compiled a list of the best Twitter feeds of 2012 which is great for both newbies and those of us who are always looking for the best feeds to follow.

Another interesting  social media-related compilation is called Top 10 Lists-o-Rama, which details the most popular searches, people, and questions on Yahoo this year. You can see everything from top requested recipes to top song lyrics.

We lost some huge stars this year: Whitney Houston, Donna Summer, and Dick Clark to name just a few. To remember them all, check out this slide show of notable deaths of 2012.

Sports fans will like ESPN’s photo gallery of the best of the Summer Olympic Games, and animal lovers should view NBC’s Today show’s list of 12 most liked animal stories of 2012.

Of course best pop culture lists are completely subjective. I watch only 4 and a half of the shows list in this Huffington Post list of 2012’s top 10 best shows.  My DVR is at least half on track.

Entertainment Weekly’s best books of the year made me want to fill up my Kindle and if you’re into music, Spin.com has a robust array of best of lists. I browsed through the top 50 albums and had not even heard of most of the artists so I’m out of my element there.

Many of the major news outlets have not published their year-end lists yet so I’ll be looking for more this week. Please let me know in the comments if you see any other lists or pieces worth a look.

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Should my 12-year-old be on Facebook?

Posted on November 28, 2012 | 10 comments

My 12-year-old son, Jacob, has been nagging me about getting a Facebook page and/or Google Plus account. He also says instead of holiday presents, he wants AT&T gift cards so he can purchase a smart phone.

facebook logo

I don’t know where I fall in the scale of leniency, but on occasion I let him stay up late, watch some inappropriate movies, and eat crap. He walks to and from school every day and often to town, the park, and his friends’ houses without an escort. He’s always been responsible and reliable so I’ve continued to loosen the reins.

But kids engaging in cyberspace freaks me out.

I see no good reason for him to have access to the internet on his phone, when there’s no adult to monitor his activity. The only places he says he visits are ESPN.com, his fantasy team stat pages, and YouTube. He can do all that at home with an adult present.

Part of my argument is that he’s already playing XBox, watching sports and other TV, and texting. I don’t need his face glued to another screen.  The other issue is I don’t want him engaging in social media at this age.  He’s a kid who loves playing football in the park with his brothers or hanging out with a bunch of friends in town– you know, human engagement.

I’m afraid if he starts connecting with other kids online, he’ll get sucked into that culture, which too often chooses typing over speaking, and posting pictures over being in the moment.

google plus logo

I’m not naive. I know he’ll be on social media soon enough.  It’s a fact of life in high school. But right now, in 7th grade, I see no grounds for it. I don’t believe he will be missing out or ostracized socially for not having a Facebook page or an iPhone. He’s an extremely likable and social kid. He can still text friends on his simple phone. In fact, I argue it may make him more mysterious and desirable to the girls he wants to attract.

A local policewoman who specializes in cyber crime came to speak to a community group of seventh graders recently and I listened in. She opened the talk with a story about a 14-year-old kid who friended another teen on the social network Tagged.com. The two became gaming friends and sent messages to each other through the site. After several months, the teen invited his new friend to his house. When he opened the door, his “friend” wasn’t a kid, it was an adult male who pushed his way into the apartment and beat and sexually assaulted him.

Horrifying. But real.

The officer told several anecdotes with the point that once you start engaging — whether on a phone, via email, or on a social networking site– you are trackable and there is a record of your activity. The more details you reveal online, the easier it is for people (with good and bad intentions)  to find you. And, every time you engage, you’re at higher risk of creating a permanent online profile that you might regret later.

Kids are under the impression that if you delete something, it’s gone forever but this cop said that’s just not true. Her job is to uncover information that may have been deleted, but still exists.

Should my 12 year old be on Facebook

The officer also discussed cyber bullying, especially on sites like Facebook and Google Plus. Last year at least 1 million kids were cyber bullied on Facebook alone. She recommended not friending anyone you don’t know, which sounds obvious to adults but not to kids who want to have a high friend count. She also warned that many of the harassment complaints she sees originate from fake Facebook pages.

Her advice for parents:

— Regularly Google your child’s name to see what comes up.

–Always use all privacy settings on social media pages.

–Report cyber bullying right away and print out evidence before it gets deleted.

–Never give away your power. Often if you (or your child) respond, you’re no longer a victim. If you don’t engage or argue, the bully loses. 

Unfortunately, cyber laws have not caught up to technology so often harassment and misuse go unpunished.

I know we can’t protect our kids from everything, but I plan to keep mine off-line for as long as possible. Even if it’s just for another year or two. In the meantime, we’ll be discussing the dangers of online engagement and he’ll have to prove to me he understands the gravity before he gets the privilege.

I’m not very popular with Jacob right now, but that’s ok. When he finally wears me down and gets on Facebook, he’ll have to be my friend whether he likes me or not.

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Birthday Wishes on Facebook Are Lame!

Posted on August 17, 2012 | 10 comments

May I vent for a moment? (What’s a blog for if not to vent.)

Social media is a useful tool and I’ve reconnected with many friends (and random people I don’t care about) on Facebook. But I’ve had it with the Facebook birthday wishes.

Back in the day, when you wanted to wish a friend good tidings on his/her birthday you had to buy a card and/or make a phone call.

Now all you have to do is sign on to Facebook and move an eyeball to the right corner of the page and your computer will spoon-feed you the birthdays of all your “friends.”

I started thinking about the unspoken hierarchy of ways to offer birthday wishes and came up with this:

—Personal visit  (Rare but special and may or may not involve gift-giving.)

—Phone call (Personal and requires time, effort and thought.)

—Mailing a card  ( You thought about your friend ahead of time and like him/her enough to do an extra errand to buy a card and a stamp.)

—Sending an email  (You didn’t think ahead but did remember on your own and want to send a personal message tailored to the receiver.)

—Sending an e-card   (For last-minute-Charlie’s who forgot to send a card but want to acknowledge you. At least they took the time to join Blue Mountain and pick those cute cartoon dancing animals. )

—Posting on Facebook wall  (For any schmo you’ve known since grammar school, or worked with 5 years ago, or see at your kids’ school events, who has a finger to click a mouse.)

Facebook birthday wishes take no thought at all. In fact, most Facebook wishes probably happen because that person was already on Facebook inappropriately flirting with an ex, posting flattering self-portraits, or promoting something (I plead guilty to that) and saw the birthday reminder on the home screen and deemed you worthy of a shout out.

As a policy, I don’t wish people happy birthday on Facebook because I don’t want to be one among scores of people piling on, and I prefer to send my salutations in a more personal way.

For those of you who want to hollah at me on my special day, I beg you to send me an email or give me a call. Don’t wish me a happy birthday on Facebook and think that if it’s followed by three exclamation points instead of one, I’ll know you really care.

Plus then I’ll have to send a big , fake “Thank you! I feel the love!” to all the slackers who contributed to the birthday comments. I hate that.

The best gift you could get me (but not til next April) would be to comment on my blog. Then I’ll know you care enough to read the very best.

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Posted in Modern Life, Pop Culture Trends, Social Media

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Top 7 Observations from BlogHer12

Posted on August 7, 2012 | 8 comments

Last week I attended my first blogging conference: BlogHer12.  What happens when you bring nearly 5,000 mouthy broads together to talk about what they do? You get a very loud room, for starters.

Martha Stewart and BlogHer co-founder Elisa Camahort at BlogHer12

BlogHer.com is a media company created by three savvy women, to help bring together and showcase female bloggers. It’s the largest community of women who blog, boasting 40 million unique visitors per month. The BlogHer.com site is a guide to the latest news and trends for women in social media and a publishing network of more than 3,000 blogs.

Each year it’s in a different city, but this year the 9th annual BlogHer conference was in Manhattan so it was a perfect opportunity to check it out without a huge commitment.

I loved everything about it.

I met interesting, smart, like-minded people who were eager to talk about many of my interests. I attended lectures where I got practical, business, and technical tips on how to improve my blog and get more people to read it. And I got a free vibrator!

Trojan really grabbed our attention!

While many bloggers were old-timers and knew how to work the conference, I was a rookie and wanted to experience as much as I could so I was moving nonstop, taking it all in, and making mental notes to share. I roped my blogger friend, Sandy (read her peachy parenting blog here)  into going with me and she was an amusing ally in this most excellent adventure.  Read on for details……

— Bloggers don’t shut up!  From the Newbie breakfast to the keynote speaker at lunch, to the crowded exhibition halls, it was sometimes difficult to hear because there were so many ladies chat-chat-chatting. One the plus side, everyone I met was  friendly and outgoing and I had no problem striking up conversation with strangers all day long.

The Expo Hall (of wonders)

—Bloggers are swag hags!  I was amazed at the elaborate setups companies had– carpeting, leather couches, music– and some set up entire stores inside the expo. Reusable bags were the most popular giveaway– I got at least 6– but they were doling out everything from water bottles to fake nails to stationary. You could eat and drink for free too– I had delicious cupcakes, cookies, and pretzels, and washed it down with a margarita.  Other businesses offered manicures, massages, and beauty consulting. When Martha Stewart spoke at lunch, she offered free digital subscriptions to all four of her magazines for a year! In exchange for the goods, the vendors want bloggers to write about their products and scanned our conference tags which gives them our email and blog information so they can follow us to see if our blogs can help their social media strategies.

Jamba Juice loves bloggers! 

Giant spoon @ Dannon yogurt booth

Complimentary massage for tired tootsies

Free manicures too!

Sandy & I go Greek trying Rickland Orchards Greek yogurt granola bar

—Social media experts don’t necessarily know how to engage people!  I went to several lectures led by people on a panel speaking about branding, social engagement, and media pitching who were so boring, we walked out. Some of the content was ok but the delivery was blah and they didn’t get the attendees involved.

—Bloggers like their salad!  The crowds were so large that at both breakfast  and lunch, there were no fruit, vegetables, or drinks left by the time I got to the buffet. The food– as you would expect at a conference of this size– was not great. You would think that with all the foody blogs out there someone would step up but alas, I had to settle for a tuna sandwich.

—Bloggers made me laugh and cry (it was better than “Cats.”) The Voices of the Year presentation was amazing. More than 1800 bloggers submitted posts for review in various categories, then BlogHer chooses 110 winners and 15  get to read their posts out loud. There were stories about parenting, death, poverty, identity, and politics that moved me and  several hilarious humor bits that made me laugh until I cried.  The talented and absorbing writers made me want to run to my computer and get cracking. I was also inspired hearing the international activists speak. These were four women– who BlogHer sponsored to attend the conference– who risk their lives every day by blogging about their opposition to government and/or society standards in their developing countries. Hearing about how bloggers from Haiti, Sudan, Philippines, and Zimbabwe have evoked real change in women’s lives in their countries reminded me of the power of new media.

http://averagemomswearcapes.com/ blogger keeping it real

—Bloggers are a random bunch!  I exchanged business cards with many strangers and I was shocked at the wide array of topics people blog about. I figured I’d meet mostly mom, food, and beauty bloggers but I also encountered these:

littlelunchnotes.com – creative, adorable lunch notes to put in your kids’ lunchbox every day, using beautiful paper, jokes, and pictures.

madeinusachallenge.com – great buying resource as it highlights products made in the USA and companies that make them.

 frugalflip.com – tips on how to live on a budget in a big city.

—Bloggers are influential. Nearly 5,000 sharp, driven women (and a handful of men) got themselves to New York to be a part of this conference. Each blog can reach hundreds to millions of people. That translates to huge business opportunities for companies who want to get a product or message across to media-savvy people using a modern platform. President Obama opened the conference with a 15-minute address –via internet of course– talking about the importance of women’s issues in this election and creating positive role models for young women like his daughters. Martha Stewart was the keynote speaker Friday and Katie Couric spoke on Saturday. Those are some pretty heavy hitters. Bloggers get respect!

Overall the conference was well-organized, informative and fun. I made great contacts and learned a lot. One of the tips I took away was the importance of a blog Facebook page.  I’ll let you know as soon as it’s up so you can become a CarpoolCandy.com Facebook fan!

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Posted in Social Media, Top 7 Lists, Working Mom Adventures

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What’s Appropriate for Teens on Facebook

Posted on June 28, 2012 | Comments Off on What’s Appropriate for Teens on Facebook


Here’s a modern parenting issue I’d like to put out there for discussion.  My close friend is arguing with her daughter, Katie (not her real name) who is 15 years old, and a tall, thin, blond beauty.  She’s smart and sweet but still rather socially innocent.  She spends her weekend nights with a few girlfriends watching movies and socializing online, not going out to parties or group dates.

Recently Katie was goofing around with a girlfriend who took a series of very sexy photos of her in a bikini.  Now Katie has posted those pictures and used one as her Facebook profile. In one shot, she’s leaning up against a fence with her head tilted back smiling demurely at the camera while her long blond hair cascades down her back.

I can’t show you the photo because her mother is horrified.

Mother and daughter are close and share a lot but in this case, mom thinks the photo is inappropriate and advertising something Katie can’t deliver. She also believes that Katie is too immature to understand the power of that photo on the internet.

Katie thinks mom is being prudish and is enjoying all the attention the photo is attracting.  One of her arguments in favor of keeping the photo up was pointing out how many “Likes” she had on Facebook now.

Well duh!

What kid wouldn’t like that picture?! Girls say, “Good for you!” and boys say, “Bring it on!“ The only people who hate it are adults who have concern for her welfare.

My friend feels like she’s starring in her own After School Special.  Shockingly, Katie’s dad is ok with the photo because he believes the positive attention is building her self-esteem and worried if they demand she remove it, Katie will block her parents on all social media and they won’t be able to monitor her online activity.  Even if they punish her, kids will find a way.

It’s a good thing Wilson doesn’t have girls because he took one look at that photo and went ballistic. There’s no way any daughter of his would ever post that kind of photo online. Of course he doesn’t have a daughter, or know the first thing about the complexities of their fragile teenaged egos.  He is not familiar with heaving sobs into pillows at night or notebooks filled with hearts and boys’ names.

One mother recommended my friend show Katie the movie “Trust,” about a girl who is stalked by an online predator to educate her about the dangers of creating an online profile.  But I’d actually be more worried about the boys in her school than outside creeps.  What message is she sending with the photo?  What situations could it get her into for which she is not prepared? Or is this oversharing and exposure all part of the modern high school experience?

Please weigh in on the issue. Maybe some of you think this kind of photo is fine. Of course my friend could order Katie take down the photos, threaten punishment, lecture her. But she’s looking for a way to get Katie to want to take it down on her own, because she understands why it’s a bad idea and has the information to make better decisions in the future.  Any advice to get to that outcome is welcome!

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Oversharing on Social Media

Posted on April 30, 2012 | 2 comments

What do you want to share?

I have complained– in this space and others– about how I hate getting old. But there was an article in the New York Times this week about the new relationship rules regarding social media, that made me glad I’m a geezer.

Most of my friends and family are baffled by Twitter and have never heard of Pinterest so I’m not too worried about my birthday party locations or paint colors being outed in public.  Frankly, I wish I had more to hide.

While many of my contemporaries do post on Facebook, it’s all still new so there is a sense of decorum and respect in their timelines that apparently is not always the case with the younger generation.

Those crazy kids today are Tweeting about how their dates are going from the bathroom of the bar. They’re on their blogs lamenting about their stilted sex  lives or posting photos of romantic vacations without asking permission.

According to the article, some couples recommend ground rule discussions on the first date about what parts of their relationship will be fair to post to their entire contact lists.

Some plugged-in peops are having arguments over social media for sport. I’ve seen celebrities like Jason Jones and Samantha Bee from “The Daily Show”  write passive-aggressive Tweets about each other, presumably from the same couch.

Remember talking? Long phone conversations that ended with  “You hang up. No, you hang up!”

Now there’s no need to call in the first place if you can flirt, fight, and break up all on your smart phone, and await commentary from the online peanut gallery.

I guess I’m lucky that Wilson has no interest in social media. He used Facebook just a few times to spy on old high school acquaintances and although I made him get on Twitter to follow me (@carpoolcandy)  he has no idea how it works.  12-year-old Jacob is desperate to get on Facebook but I see no reason for another distraction that seems to have no benefits for a kid. He’s already on Skype and Apple Facetime and texts until his fingers are numb.

But I know he’ll be on the social media bandwagon soon enough and I’ll have to come up with my own ground rules for appropriate usage.  Maybe then when I want Jacob to clean his room, I’ll  take a photo of the heaping piles and post it on Facebook to shame him into doing the job. Ah, the wonders of technology.

Read the Times article here:  http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/26/fashion/for-couples-new-source-of-online-friction.html

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My Top 7 to Follow on Twitter

Posted on April 12, 2012 | 6 comments

Curious about Twitter but need to know who to follow? Let me help.

Twitter turned 6 years old last week. Hard to believe it’s been around that long—it wasn’t on my radar until about a year and a half ago. Now I can’t stop. It’s my guilty pleasure and sometimes my enemy.

I started out slow, intimidated by how to use it. Hashtags and retweets were confusing. I was so green about the blue bird. But it’s not brain surgery, kids. Now I’m versed in its wonder and addicted to the camaraderie it offers. It’s probably the former news producer in me, but I find cruising Twitter extremely satisfying.

I’ve tried to lure in my techno-phobic family and friends by explaining it’s like a worldwide water cooler. You go to Twitter to be part of the conversation.

Sounds like Facebook you say? Yes, it’s a similar social media model. But it’s more interesting when I’m in control of content.  Whom I follow is my choice and I can unfollow in a heartbeat, with no hard feelings.

It’s difficult to say no to friending on Facebook, even if I don’t have the slightest interest in my former colleague’s trip to Vegas or kid haircut photos from a high school acquaintance.

On Twitter I can stalk celebrities safely, much like reading the star sightings in gossip mags—but live. I can read what Courteney Cox is doing in NYC and what Arianna Huffington thought of the State of the Union address, in real-time. I turn to Twitter when news events happen— like an earthquake, political debate, Whitney Houston’s death, or award shows– to see what people are talking about.

Tweets can only be 140 characters so there’s a creative challenge to say a lot in few words. You waste less time reading through long posts and comments. I can stroll through my Twitter feed while on line at the grocery store.

Many of you naysayers will claim you don’t need another time suck. I agree. It’s tragic how many hours I’ve lost going through the “follow” lists of people I follow. It’s not efficient or productive, but it’s fun.

If you haven’t already, give it a whirl. It takes two secs to sign up and I’ll give you a few Twitter favorites to follow:

@crushabledotcom (entertainment scoop with some edge)

@AliEWentworth (funny bits from a regular mom in a famous life)

@chucktodd (NBC Newsguy Tweets intelligently abt politics and sports)

@ryanseacrest (Tweets during Idol commercials, has insider music info)

@DannyZuker (“Modern Family” writer, hilarious and often offensive)

@iamsambee (“Daily Show’s” Samantha Bee owns mommy sarcasm)

@sethmeyers21 (“SNL” head writer makes many funnies in few words)

Who do you follow on Twitter? Tell me in the comments and don’t forget to follow me @carpoolcandy!

 

 

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Top 7 Kid’s Texting Translations

Posted on March 20, 2012 | 1 comment
Image

Jacob’s texting needs translation

I often find myself lost in text translation.

My oldest son, Jacob, is a mature, confident, and savvy 12 year old.  Too smart for his own good, he can be infuriatingly manipulative. As a sixth grader, he walks to and from middle school through our suburban downtown, so we gave him a cell phone to promote safety and communication.

Jacob, however, believes the only purpose of the cell phone is to text his friends. When I communicate with him, I almost always call, so I can hear his voice and take care of our business efficiently. Like many pre-teens, he prefers to text me in phrases I often don’t understand, which makes me feel old. While a phone call would allow for context, he will come up with 62 reasons why texting 4 abbreviated words is the best way to ask me if he can avoid homework and go to the park after school.

I don’t enjoy our texting relationship because it somehow allows him to forgo manners and respect for sassy slang.  When I was forced to text him recently about why he hadn’t answered his phone or texted me for 30 minutes after school, his typed response was ”Chillax dude. lol… be home in a few.”

Now is that any way to talk to your mother?!

Text-speak for the kids is quite literally another language, one of which I have only remedial knowledge. I asked Jacob to translate some of the more amusing phrases he uses to speak to his friends:

1.  WTF and/or OMFG—I think you can guess the meaning here.            (According to Jacob, since only the “F” initial is being used, it isn’t technically swearing.)

2.  NMJC—Not much just chillin’.                                                                       (The natural answer to “what r u doing?”)

3.  JW – Just wondering                                                                                        (A likely response to the stock question, “why did u ask if I like her/him?”)

4.  TTYL—Talk To You Later                                                                                (Should really be “text you later”—good old-fashioned conversation is lost on these kids.)

5. BRA— Friend                                                                                                        (As in brother, bro, brey….not lady’s lingerie.)

6. IKR—I know, right?                                                                                           (A common response to “My mom’s so annoying…”)

7.  PITR – Parent in the Room                                                                           (The horror!!)

Did I clear some things up for you? Please share any texting tales you have about your preteens and teens… and more texting translations are always welcome!

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