Monthly Archives: November 2013

Carpool Candy holiday gift guide for men 2013

There are so many gift possibilities for women– we love clothes,  jewelry, accessories, home goods, beauty products… I could go on and on. But men, not so much. Guys either think they don’t need anything, or can be picky and ambivalent.

Here are some suggestions that might earn you a smooch under the mistletoe.

Williams Sonoma steak brand and carving board on carpoolcandy.com

Steak brand and carving board:  If your guy takes pride in his grilling skills (I know mine does) he’ll love this customized branding tool to put his mark on every steak he serves. Personalized carving board seals the deal. ($70)

3 in one grill tool on carpoolcandy.com

Three-in-one BBQ tool:   While we’re in the backyard, this guy gadget serves many purposes and is perfect for those who like being first to have the new thing.  This baby functions as a spatula, fork and tongs all at once.  ($38)

Mark and Graham leather ipad case on carpoolcandy.com

Leather iPad case:  Sometimes you just want to feel like a grown up. ($79)  

Grommet cord organizer on carpoolcandy.com

Cord organizer:  And while he’s feeling mature, how about untangling his affairs with this leather cord organizer. So simple, yet so handy. ($40)

Adonit Jot Script Evernote stylus on carpoolcandy.com

Touch screen stylus:   Let’s round out the tech section with this new precision stylus, specifically for note taking. The Jot Script Evernote allows your handwriting to flow as freely as your thoughts. ($75)

Complete Worst Scenario survival handbook on carpoolcandy.com

The Complete Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook:   This important tome offers advice on challenges as varied as wrestling an alligator to calming a crying child, to extinguishing a barbecue. Gag gift or a lifesaver? Quite possibly both. ($17)

weird beard hat on carpoolcandy.com

Weird beard hat:   I don’t know if any man you’re buying for would want to wear this but it was too hilarious to exclude. It does look warm…. ($30)

Superduper tiny tool kit on carpoolcandy.com

Superduper tiny tool kit:    Smaller than a credit card, this gadget has 11 functioning tools, including a screwdriver, wrench, and bottle opener in a minute stainless steel package. It’s also a steel –see what I did there?– at $5.  

Beer tote on carpoolcandy.com

Beer tote:  This sturdy, wood carrier is great for the guy who likes variety and needs a safe way to transport his cold ones.  ($40)

Bathroom guest book on carpoolcandy.com

Bathroom Guestbook:  I guess I’m putting this on the men’s list because all males find anything remotely related to bodily functions hilarious. Guests can scribble their deep thoughts or criticisms of your loo’s décor or amenities in this cheeky john journal. ($13)

Shutterfly photo phone case on carpoolcandy.com

Photo phone case:   Keep your favorite people close at hand with this personalized phone case. This is exactly the kind of gift Wilson would never buy for himself but would be happy to have. ($28- 56)

Gary Poppions gourmet popcorn on carpoolcandy.comGourmet popcorn:     If you have a foodie in your life, this variety pack of Gary Poppins popcorn is a high-end treat. Samplers include standards like caramel and cheddar, but also kick it up a notch with white cheddar jalapeno, cheddar bacon ranch, creamy dill, chocolate peanut butter, and chocolate Oreo. Yum! ($28-56)

Digits glove tips on carpoolcandy.com

Smartphone glove tips:     In my exhaustive research I found this cool website with products invented by regular peops like you and me. Digits are fingertip-sized pins that attach to the gloves you already own, and enable you to use your smart phone and stay warm.  ($12)

flag cufflinks on carpoolcandy.com

Flag cufflinks:   You can’t go wrong with patriotism and style, right? ($50)

If you didn’t find a match on this list, try last year’s here.

Wilson is trying to establish a “no-gift” policy between us this year but I’m going to buy him something anyway. Which do you think he’ll like best? Tell me in the comments…  and let me know what you’re getting the guy (s) in your life. I promise not to tell!

Carpool Candy Holiday gift guide for ladies 2013

Buying the right gifts for people I love is one of my favorite things to do. But I know that’s not true for everyone so I’m sharing all the good stuff I’ve found in my search for personal, eclectic, and/or fun presents. And you don’t even have to leave the house.

All items have links for easy purchasing, so just click on the name of the item and it will take you right to the website. Happy shopping!

Smiley face snack bowl from Shed.com on carpoolcandy.com

Whimsical serving dishes:     One of my favorite local stores, Shed,  just started a website with amazing home goods. It was hard to pick just a few things to list. But how can you resist a happy face snack bowl ($75) or this inspired serving “peace” ($75)?

Mercury glass votives from BallardDesigns.cm on carpoolcandy.com

Candle votives:  If you know me, you know I love a candle. These mercury glass votives are rustic and refined all at once, and give off nice light because they’re a bit distressed. Plus, I like that they’re all different and not matchy-matchy. This set of 5 for $35 will light up your life.

Light up letter from shed.com on carpoolcandy.com

Light up letter:   This is fun for adults and kids, for a bedroom or living area.  I’m going to get one for my 8-year-old son, Eli, who would love to see his name in lights. ($210).  (If that price tag is too steep, you can still be a star with this light up star for $159.

Garnet Hill eyebobs on carpoolcandy.com

Stylish readers:   If you hate to admit you’re getting old but your eyes are failing you, give in and treat yourself to a pair of these ($75.)  Anthropologie also has a less expensive but equally chic selection: $38.

Fun sweater from GarnetHill.com on carpoolcandy.com

Fun sweater:   For the gal who likes a little oomph in her style, these sweaters are fun and great colors. I love the bird, and the heart speaks to me. ($118)

Mark and Graham coasters on carpoolcandy.com

Personalized Coasters:   These linen coasters are great for that impossible person on your list who can (and usually does) buy whatever she wants for herself.  Smart looking, useful, and available in a variety of colors. ($35 for 6)

Sundance jewelry tree on carpoolcandy.com

Jewelry tree:   Keep your favorite necklaces, bracelets, and even earrings from weaving a tangled web with this nature-inspired jewelry stand. ($40)

Jewelry for a Cause steel bracelet on carpoolcandy.com

Steel, politically correct bracelet:   For the activist on your list, these steel bracelets are made from guns taken off the streets by Newark, NJ Police. Each carries a serial number that corresponds with the gun from which it came. 20% of the profits go to future gun buyback programs.  Prices range from $150 for steel cuff to $350 for steel bangle with diamonds.

Nirvanna handwarmers on carpoolcandy.com

Handwarmers:  Almost every glove I’ve seen featured this year has some way of combining warmth with texting ease.  God forbid we have to put down the phone for a sec while outside! These crafty handwarmers have no fingers so can’t even be called gloves. But I love the cozy fleece lining, crocheted flowers, and the many colors from which to choose.

Henri Bendel faux fur earmuffs on carpoolcandy.com

Faux fur earmuffs:   For the chic gal who wants to be warm, but doesn’t want to mess up her coiff.  ($78)

Pottery Barn peace love joy pillow on carpoolcandy.com

Message pillow:  Ok, maybe I’m channeling my inner hippie here but I LOVE this pillow. It can serve as a reminder to always find JOY. C’mon, give PEACE a chance people! ($40)

Shutterfly dry erase chore chart on carpoolcandy.com

Dry erase chore chart:   This decal sticks (and resticks like a Fathead) to any wall and comes with a dry-erase marker to check off tasks. Personalize it with photos and your name. Great tool for busy moms. Maybe some people wouldn’t think this present-worthy but it’s what I asked Wilson to give me this year. Order it, fill it out, and get kids to comply. Now that’s a gift.

If none of these ideas are quite right, try last year’s suggestions here.

What’s on your list? Tell me in the comments!

Amazing coincidence or divine intervention?

Last week, I wrote an opinion piece that was published on Foxnews.com about what Veterans Day means to me. And then something amazing happened.

Loyal Candy readers might recognize that the story was a reworked version of a blog post I wrote for Memorial Day about my father’s Navy service in Vietnam.

The piece was accompanied by a photo of the bracelet my father wore from 1967-1973 bearing the name of a POW shot down in Vietnam. He wore it until the man– Commander Robert Doremus– returned home. My father wrote a letter to Cdr. Doremus when he returned safely, telling him what wearing the bracelet meant to him and thanking him for his service and incredible sacrifice.

Vietnam POW bracelet on carpoolcandy.com

My father died in 1993 so I can’t ask him details about that time, or if he ever got a response from Cdr. Doremus.

I Googled Doremus, but there were several others who share his name, and I couldn’t determine where he lived or even if he was still alive. When I sent the piece to Fox News, I knew it would get thousands of views and secretly hoped his family would see it and be able to fill in some blanks.

That’s why I wasn’t completely surprised when I got a comment on my blog from Doremus’ daughter, Barbara, the day after the story appeared. A friend of hers had seen my story and posted the link on Facebook asking her if she was any relation to the name on the bracelet.

She made a comment on my blog (there was a link to my blog at the end of the Fox piece) and asked if we could get in touch. Within hours, we exchanged emails and became Facebook friends. It was surreal to look at her Facebook page and read the thread about finding the story and wanting to contact me.

We spoke on the phone a few days later and there was an immediate intimacy I wouldn’t normally feel with a stranger. But through social media, we had learned a little about each other’s lives, and we had this shared meaningful experience.

Turns out, Barbara’s dad is still alive and nearly 80 years old. She called to tell him about the story but he had not seen it and promised to look for it online.

His war story is even more fascinating than I knew. He was shot down and declared dead for more than a year. Then a photo of him surfaced and the military changed his status from KIA to POW. He was held in Vietnam for 8 years before returning home.

Cdr Robert Doremus on carpoolcandy.com

courtesy Barbara Doremus

I would love to know if he remembered my father’s letter or the bracelet. Thanks to the internet, I may find out.

Many on Barbara’s Facebook page read the story and said they got goosebumps.  “What a small world!” was a common refrain.

It’s actually a huge world, but the internet can make it shrink.

I often resent the intrusiveness of the web and criticize social media for the self-indulgence it encourages. But this story– and the speed with which we daughters connected– is a tale of technology-done-good.

This week marks the 20th anniversary of my father’s death. Coincidence that this all happened so close to the milestone? I’m not so sure.

Although she lives in Florida, Facebook will help me keep in touch with Barbara, and hopefully her father. Dad would have loved that.

Stretching my patience: can yoga help my parenting?

I recently had an epiphany in yoga class.

Moving through the different poses, willingly stretching and contorting my body, I tried to let stress and negative thoughts temporarily melt away. When I’m able to focus on proper positioning and breathing, I get the most out of the experience.

I often practice in about 95-degree heat, which loosens my muscles and allows me to go further into poses, testing balance and endurance. Teachers calmly urge us to push through resistance to achieve the best form.

We were doing a posture called pigeon, which requires you to bend one leg in front of you—shin parallel to the mat– and slide the other leg straight behind. If you can manage that, the next step is to reach your torso forward and rest your cheek on the floor. It’s not easy, but if I can get there it’s an incredible hip opener.

While you’d think my inner dialogue during this pretzel would be profanity-laced, I was surprisingly tranquil and in the moment. I tried to fixate on how each part of my body was positioned, and slowly attempted to stretch deeper into the pose.

Yoga practice on carpoolcandy.com

As I pushed through discomfort, the teacher encouragingly suggested we let go of any tension. It sounds so simple, but unless you really focus on surrendering the strain, you get caught up in the pain. If you can— even just for a few moments– resist the temptation to squeeze and tense your muscles and just give in, you can actually ease into the pose.

If I can get there mentally, and then physically yield, it’s ephemeral euphoria.

After a few brief but glorious moments, a switch went off in my head and I was aware of the pain and had to readjust.

But as I was trying to override the resistance, I discovered a metaphor for parenting. Often at the end of the day, when I’m tired and my boys (ages 8, 10 and 13) are being sassy and my patience level is low, they start pushing my buttons.

I should be the mature adult who sets a better example of how to act. But when they’re simultaneously barking dinner orders at me; avoiding homework; and tossing a football in the family room, knowing full well that’s against house rules….my composure flies out the window.

If I scold them too harshly, I feel crappy. There’s very little satisfaction in telling off your kids. It’s not like standing up for yourself against a boss or friend who’s done you wrong. You don’t feel empowered, you just feel like a heel.

So while reaching my heels to my mat in down dog, I realized I need to take the Zen attitude I bring to yoga into my parenting.

Easier said than done, I know.

yoga on beach key west on carpoolcandy.com

But if I can trick my mind into believing my limbs are not on fire, I certainly can find a way to abandon my ego and avoid the temptation to snap at my kids when tensions are high.

Breathing helps. Yogis often emphasize the importance of deep steady breaths.  Taking a couple of soothing breaths—and maybe even closing my eyes—when the kids are unruly may ward off a mommy meltdown.

If calm talking and breathing doesn’t work, I can always try standing on my head to get their attention.

What do you do to avoid losing it on your kids? Tell me in the comments.

Three boys and a lady: how I mother males

Today I spent the afternoon at the Giants game with Wilson and my sons (ages 8, 10, and 13,) and as I was feigning interest in something called a Pick 6 play, I had a big-picture moment about being a mom of three boys.

Young Giants fans at the game on carpoolcandy.com

I often find myself in situations I could have never expected. Like this weekend, when I froze my ass off in the bleachers for 4 hours as I watched my middle son play 2 fall baseball play off games. Or when I came dangerously close to sitting on the toilet in my bathroom, only to realize it was unflushed and the seat sprinkled with pee droplets. Or when I had to redirect the dinner conversation from fantasy football stats to anything non-sports related.

I’m the blond-haired black sheep in my family. I’m a girl.

There are benefits to being the only chick in the house. There isn’t a ton of drama, and my boys don’t hold a grudge. None of them really care how I look and so far, they don’t judge me.

Mom and sons on carpoolcandy.com

Before I had kids, I thought my perfect family would be two boys and a girl. I pictured my daughter and I having the close relationship I share with my mother. We would get manicures, go shopping and whisper secrets. She would borrow my clothes and I’d tell her and her friends about all the stupid adolescent mistakes I made, while we ate cookies we baked together.

But that wasn’t to be.

When I had Eli– my third healthy baby boy– any smidge of disappointment about his gender was quickly replaced by gratitude and relief.

While I was a pretty clueless teenager, I bloomed into a capable, confident mother. I knew how to parent boys and I was on a roll. Throwing a girl in there may have disrupted my swerve. Plus, the chances of me screwing her up were extremely high.

I believe you get what you’re supposed to get.

So I find my moments with my boys. I may not love the 24/7 sports engagement…their dirty, smelly, slovenly ways…or their complete disregard for my feelings most of the time. But I’ve found common ground with each of them.

13-year-old Jacob is a huge gossip. His uncanny ability to listen to two conversations at once and remember details about people and events serves us both well. He loves to hear any story I tell — old or new, about strangers or friends. We’re both fascinated by people and why they do the crazy things they do.

Aden, 10, is my sensitive, deep thinker. The other day we curled up on the couch and watched a movie (it was “The Way, Way Back,” a coming of age story which I highly recommend) and when the bittersweet ending came, both of us sobbed. He snuggled with me under a blanket and we watched the entire roll of credits, tears splashing down our faces.

boy wearing nail polish on carpoolcandy.com

Eli is my style maven. He cares about his clothes and understands the difference between clashing and matching. He’s my go-to when I need an opinion on which outfit is more flattering or cool.  When I wear something new, he actually notices, and is the first to compliment me on a haircut or new pair of shoes. He also loves accompanying me to the nail salon and even enjoys a manicure now and then. This week he chose blue for the Giants.

I love being the mom of three boys.

You get what you’re supposed to get, and then you find what you need.

Let’s talk TV

I’ve been jonesing to write a pop culture blog lately. Partly because I’m obsessed with Jessie Pinkman.

At the end of August, Wilson and I got tired of hearing everyone and their brother saying that “Breaking Bad,” was the best show on TV. Like ever.

Breaking Bad on carpoolcandy.com

I really hate it when I miss out on a TV phenomenon. I’ve tried to keep up with all the big ones. But once HBO and Showtime got involved– not to mention Netflix– there were so many shows I wanted to see and so little time, that I had to accept that I might miss some of the greats.

But Wilson’s brother gave us the DVDs for all 5 seasons of Breaking Bad so we feel compelled to watch them whenever we have a moment. I’ve spent countless nights when my eyelids are so heavy, I feel like I’m drugged and my bed is calling….but the draw of Walter White is far too strong!

The show is like nothing we’ve ever seen. The characters are authentic and familiar but the plot is so involved and unpredictable you can’t imagine what will happen next– almost unheard of at this point in TV history.

It’s not so much fun to watch. It’s dark and ugly, and often makes me grit my teeth and clutch my belly with the stress of not knowing how Walter and Jessie will get out of the mess they’re in. But you need to keep burrowing down the rabbit hole of Bad-ness, if only to see how it ends.

Everyone talks about Bryan Cranston’s stellar performance as chemistry teacher-turned-badass Walter White, but I prefer his loyal sidekick, Jessie Pinkman, played by the uber-talented and foxy Aaron Paul.

Breaking Bad on carpoolcandy.com

I won’t even try to explain it to those who’ve never watched. Before becoming a Bad-head, I didn’t understand what it was about despite the hard sell from fellow TV lovers as addicted to the show as Walter White’s meth-heads are to his blue ice.

You just have to watch it.

But make sure you have some time because there’s no turning back. We are towards the end of Season 3, with many hours of tension ahead. But I hear the last season is explosive and the finale is one of the most memorable. Like ever.

So since Breaking Bad has lived up to the hype, I may have to go back and pick up some others I’ve lost along the way.

Shows I never watched and still regret: The Wire (I know, I know, the BEST show in the history of the talking box!) Weeds, Veep, The Good Wife, House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, Glee, Game of Thrones,  American Horror Story.

And while we’re talking TV,  I’ve found snippets of time here and there (usually while distracting myself from the odious task of unloading the dishwasher) to sample some new fall shows.

There’s a lot of crap littering primetime lineups. Don’t waste your time on Dads, Mom, Super Fun Night, or The Millers. Just terrible.

Family Ties is one of my all-time favorite shows so I was eager to see Michael J. Fox’s new comedy on NBC. But the first episode was so bad I couldn’t stomach another. Sorry MJF! Sean Saves the World starring Sean Hayes– whom I love–  was kind of meh, but maybe worth another look.

The Goldbergs best new comedy on carpoolcandy.com

The good news is I’ve found a show that makes me LOL that I can actually watch with my kids. ABC’s The Goldbergs is an homage to my childhood era– kind of like The Wonder Years was for us back in the 80’s.

The cast is led by the hilarious Wendi McLendon-Covey (Bridesmaids) as a smothering, know-it-all mother and Jeff Garlin (Curb Your Enthusiasm) as the perpetually annoyed, tough love dad. There’s so much 80’s nostalgia I’m yearning for shoulder pads and a Rubik’s cube after watching. The characters are enormously relatable– probably because they’re based on creator Adam Goldberg’s actual relatives, and several episodes even include videotape from his childhood that made me instantly connect with the show.

Brooklyn 99 best new comedy on carpoolcandy.com

I also love Fox’s Brooklyn 99— a comedy starring SNL‘s Andy Samberg as an extremely immature but remarkably successful police detective. The terrific writing and Samberg’s completely lovable character drew me in and the supporting characters got me hooked. It moves quickly so you want to pay attention or you’ll miss a funny throwaway line. Not as kid-friendly — too many sex jokes– but worth checking out.

I’m also curious about The Blacklist, starring James Spader. Seen it?

Please tell me about any other new shows you like in the comments. Once my affair with Jessie Pinkman is over, I’ll try hard to make room in my schedule for a new TV crush.