I’ve discovered podcasts, have you?

Last week, I was preparing to go for a run when I realized my iPod had no juice. I’ve been running for 25 years but I still can’t go far if I don’t have some distraction– a friend or music.  Hearing myself huffing and puffing makes me tired, and all I can think about is being done.

I was annoyed because I haven’t run much in months (thanks polar vortex) and I was motivated by the beautiful day. I started to look on my iPhone for Pandora or some radio app and saw my “podcasts” icon.

podcast icon on carpoolcandy.com

I’ve only listened to a podcast once. My savvy friend and pop culture maven Julie told me months ago to listen to a podcast called By the Way, hosted by the actor and comedian, Jeff Garlin. Garlin is best known for his role on Curb Your Enthusiasm and now stars in one of my favorite comedies, ABC’s The Goldbergs. 

Julie flagged it for me because Garlin had had a great talk with my hero Lena Dunham, the actress, writer, and producer of HBO’s Girls. The podcast is basically a recording of Garlin sitting on stage in front of an audience interviewing one person for at least an hour. It’s uncensored, seems mostly unedited, and because of Garlin, unpredictable.

I loved the Lena Dunham chat but after I listened to it, I forgot all about podcasts. I read books and magazines, watch too much TV, try (failing lately) to keep up with movies and spend too much time on social media. I didn’t think I needed to add another entertainment category to my already busy schedule.

By The Way on carpool candy.com

courtesy Earwolf Media

But there I was in my spandex pants with my running shoes double knotted, all hydrated and ready to go. So I scrolled through the By The Way interviews and picked Judd Apatow, the director, writer and producer of TV shows like Freaks and Geeks and Girls, and movies like the 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up.

Apatow is wildly talented and accomplished, but also is about my age, Jewish and neurotic so he seems very familiar to me. A conversation with Garlin and Apatow sounded very promising.  I started running and within a few minutes I forgot I was pounding the pavement and felt like I was hanging out with two funny guys.

The discussion was completely engrossing. I even giggled out loud a few times, and wondered if people on the street thought I was nuts. Listening to people talking in your ears, and the natural progression of conversation on the show felt intimate.

The two are friends and have some shared experiences so that lends itself to easy rapport, but Garlin is a no-bullshit kind of guy, unafraid of offending people, especially celebrities. Like when he went on a hilarious rant about how much he hates director/producer Michael Bay (Transformers and Armageddon)  and refuses to see his movies.

by the way graphic on carpool candy.com

The guys were still chatting when I finished my run so I stretched and then cleaned my kitchen while listening to the end of the show, when Garlin takes questions from the audience. I didn’t want it to end. One guy asked when was the last time each of them had smoked pot. Their answers were very surprising.**

I’ve always had a fantasy of being friends with Apatow and his wife, actress Leslie Mann. They seem very cool and as normal as you can be in Hollywood. As my week went on, I kept thinking about that great conversation, as if we had all been pals at dinner together. When a friend asked if I had ever tried pilates, I answered no, but wanted to add, “But Jeff Garlin does it once a week!”

So now I’m obsessed with the idea of podcasts. (I know they’ve been around for 10 years but I’m a late bloomer when it comes to tech.) I realized it’s a great distraction on long walks with the dog and on my commute to the city.

But I’m such a newbie, I don’t know any good ones besides By the Way. 

I’m so behind on this so please enlighten me and recommend your favorite podcasts in the comments…… I’m listening.

**Apatow said he hasn’t smoked since college because he did it too much and hated the way it made him feel. Garlin also had not smoked in many years.

Expectations high for How I Met Your Mother finale

How I Met Your Mother promo on carpoolcandy.com

On Monday night, the gang from CBS’ How I Met Your Mother  will drink their final beer at MacLaren’s and say “awesome” one last time before the series comes to an end. I’m sad but I agree it’s time.

Wilson and I discovered the show in its second season after hearing the buzz. It never caught on like Friends, but was just as good, if not better at times. The show is set in New York with a bunch of 20 and then 30 something pals trying to figure out what they want out of life, while remaining incredibly loyal to each other.

The hook of the show and what set it apart was the always-present mystery of who Josh Radnor’s “Ted” would end up marrying and making the “mother” of his kids. Ted is a hopeless romantic seeking out the yin to his yang, and discarding many, many girls along the way.

Every episode started in the year 2030 with Ted narrating a story to his kids about his adventures with best friends Lily, Marshall, Robin and Barney, and many included small hints about the illusive mother.

How I met Your mother mother on carpoolcandy.com

The mother is finally revealed! (CBS)

The first few seasons grabbed us with layered, relatable characters, smart plots, and funny scripts. Not only were we curious about finding out who Ted ends up with, but the writers were extremely creative.

There was the homage to the Seinfeld  “backwards” episode where the plot went from end to beginning, the numbers episode where every scene had a hidden number counting down from 50 to 1, and the mostly sung musical episode.

And who could forget Ted’s 2-minute date with Stella (played by Sarah Chalke.) After telling Ted she was too busy working and raising her daughter to see him, he creates the perfect date in 120 seconds during her lunch break, squeezing in a meal at the cafe next door, watching movie clips at an electronics store, and a 5-second cab ride back to the office.

In addition to wild romantic gestures, ongoing plot points (the mother’s yellow umbrella, Ted’s Halloween bad luck) inside jokes (the slap bet, the Bro-Code, custom high-fives) the show also boasted some big guest stars, including Britney Spears, Katie Holmes, Bryan Cranston, Kim Kardashian, J Lo, and Katy Perry.

But beyond the clever writing and original storytelling were 5 rounded characters. After nine seasons, I know exactly who they are and I’m going to miss hanging out with those crazy kids.

How I Met Your Mother finale on carpoolcandy.com

CBS

Even on the best sitcoms,  the story lines weaken and laughs wane over time, and last season the show lost its luster. But I couldn’t quit HIMYM. 

I’m so glad we stuck it out. This entire last season took place (save for flashbacks and fast forwards) over Robin and Barney’s country wedding weekend. The writers used the device as a way to get back to old plots and characters to wrap things up in one of the best series endings since Six Feet Under.

six feet under promo shot

Six Feet Under/HBO

What makes a good finale is so subjective it’s hard to proclaim which shows nailed it and which made us scream at the TV. Six Feet Under is the most brilliantly memorable: the show about death revealed in fast sequence how each character met his/her end.

But there have been other satisfying and sentimental endings I loved, including MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, West Wing, Friday Night Lights, and most recently The Office.

On my meh list are Seinfeld and Sopranos, and the total copouts include Lost and Friends.

The shows leading up to the last episode of HIMYM have been so promising I’m expecting big, sappy things from the finale. There are rumors the mother has died and Ted’s telling the kids their story after she’s gone, or that she never existed at all. It’s unclear whether Barney and Robin end up together.

I’ll be snuggling up with a box of Kleenex and my Twitter feed Monday night to find out.

Kids, it’s bound to be LEGEN… wait for it… DARY.

For a more complete list of memorable series finales click here.  What were your favs? Which did you hate? Tell me in the comments.

 

Let’s talk about sex…to 5th graders

I got a flyer in my 10-year-old son’s backpack this week, inviting parents to view the film all 5th graders in our school district will see called “Always Changing: A Lesson in Puberty.”

Even I giggled. First, at the word puberty. Then, at the thought of my baby-faced son enduring its awkward changes.

girl boy graphic on carpoolcandy.comI can’t remember why I didn’t attend the parents puberty night when my oldest son (now 14) was in 5th grade but there must have been a very good reason. Of course I’d want to view the film because a) I’m a busybody …. b) I want to know what ideas will be floating around my son’s curious and confused brain after seeing it…  and c) maybe I’ll learn something!

The conversation at dinner the night of the talk went like this:

Me:   I’m going to a talk at school tonight after dinner.

Aden (10):   You’re going to the SEX TALK??

Eli (8):   SEX?! (fits of hysterical laughter)

Me:   Why are you laughing so hard? Do you know what sex is?

Eli:   (still laughing) NO!!

Jacob:   Oh I remember that talk. It’s really boring except for the one part where they talk about getting an erection.

Aden and Eli:   A what??

Jacob:   An erection.

Eli:   (squealing, giggling, practically falling out of his chair) Erection!! Erection!!

Me:   Do you guys know what it is?

Jacob:   (Trying hard to be blasé) I know what it is.

Eli:   (stops laughing) No, what is it?

Me:   (Trying to stay matter of fact and breezy) It’s a physical reaction in your body, when blood rushes to your penis and it gets stiff.

Eli:   (Blurts out in horror) My penis is going to fill up with blood?

Me:   (Wishing Wilson was home) It doesn’t hurt. It’s not as bad as it sounds.

whats happening to me boys pic

Grateful for the excuse to escape, I headed to school for a refresher course in breakouts and boobs.

Something about sitting in the back row of the school auditorium with my friends, taking notes about fallopian tubes brought me right back to adolescence. The short film tries to demystify puberty and explain the body changes kids can expect starting at 10 years old.

It will not win any Oscars for acting but it gets the point across without being too corny. Contrived scenes between teachers, parents, and other caregivers and their kids, explain things like anatomy, body odor, and pimples. The funniest part was when a mother explained menstruation to her tentative daughter saying “You’ll get used to it. Soon, you won’t even notice it.”  Really?!

Boys and girls screen separate versions of the film that pertain to their specific body changes. Then a teacher and the school nurse is available to answer any questions in a safe atmosphere, without being mortified by the presence of the opposite sex. But the film only focuses on puberty, and stops short of explaining intercourse.

They leave that tricky topic to us parents.

Our district addresses the reproductive system and more advanced sexuality issues in middle and high school. Our district’s head of health and physical education led the meeting and complimented our progressive community for allowing many pressing modern issues– including different types of birth control and STD’s– in the high school curriculum. She noted the district has a low teen pregnancy rate, which she hopes is in part due to education and awareness.

I was so nervous and embarrassed about anything having to do with sex and my body as a teen, that it made me uptight about it for more years than necessary. Curious angst comes with the territory, but I want to make sure my boys feel more comfortable with the changes in their bodies and their sexuality than I did.

whats happening to me book cover

My mother gave me “the talk” briefly when I was maybe 10 or 11, but I can’t even remember what she said, nor could she when I asked her this week.  I do remember her giving me these funny cartoon books called What’s Happening to Me  and Where Did I Come From?  which explained a lot more than she could.

where did i come from book cover

I remember specific illustrations and explanations to this day, which is why I bought them for Jacob when he was about 9. He was– and always has been– extremely curious and demanded a sex talk before most of his peers.

He did have several friends who had older siblings who had revealed some — mostly inaccurate– facts about sex and puberty so we felt it was time. We had the talk with Aden a few months ago and he asked fewer questions than Jacob and seemed less interested. (Those hilarious discussions are a whole other blog for another day!)

As the mother of three boys, I’d like them to understand how all bodies work and how we gals think and feel sometimes.  I’m hoping that will make them better boyfriends, husbands, friends…and people to whomever they love.

The puberty film is sponsored by Proctor and Gamble and unsurprisingly pushes Always feminine products at the end. It’s shown in many school districts nationwide. If you want to screen the film yourself, here’s the link. The site also has scripts and resources for parents to talk to their kids about sex.

Watch it and let me know what you think in the comments.

My teenaged son is obsessed with sneakers

As the mom of three boys (ages 8, 10, and 14) I consider myself lucky that I don’t have to spend gobs of money and time on nurturing their wardrobes.

I have friends with daughters whose mood often depends on whether they have the right outfit on any given day. In my testosterone-fueled world, a pair of sweats, and a sports-logo t-shirt is the standard uniform.

boys wearing sports logo tshirts on carpoolcandy.com

But recently, my boys have become fixated on having the right sneakers for every activity. There are everyday school sneakers, basketball high tops, and “dressy” kicks to only be worn on special occasions.

My oldest son, Jacob, began having unrealistic shoe-buying expectations last year, so to avoid arguing over whether spending upwards of $150 for a pair of kids sneakers was reasonable, I told him to ask for Nike gift cards for birthdays and holidays. Once my wallet was off the table, I could sit back and marvel at the absurdity of this footwear frenzy.

For weeks, the family computer had multiple windows up on Nike’s customizing page. Soon Jacob had pulled his brothers into the shoe vortex, and all three were constantly checking for new colors and designs, and readjusting their dream shoes on the Nike website. It was essential that they represent their style on the basketball court with the latest LeBrons, Jordans, or KD’s.

boys Nike sneakers on carpool candy.com
KD’s– a line of multi-colored leather Nikes inspired by NBA star Kevin Durant– run anywhere from $100 to$200 a pair. That’s a lot of saved allowance.

Jacob swears there are kids at school who spend $300 to $400 for these status symbols. Custom Nikes have become the Hermes Birkin bags of the teen boy set: outrageously expensive, rare, and coveted.

The pinnacle of our shoe adventures was Jacob’s unrelenting quest for a pair of Nike KD VI Aunt Pearl’s. Another Nike ploy is to hype up a new pair of shoes and then warn customers there will only be a finite number of pairs sold, so demand is off the charts.

Kevin Durant was inseparable with his late Aunt Pearl who passed away from lung cancer in 2000, the Nike website says. The floral motif on the shoe is similar to the pattern on a robe that Aunt Pearl often wore. For the life of me, I’ll never understand why a boy would think these shoes are cool.

Nike KD VI Aunt Pearl shoes on carpoolcandy.com

Nike is always releasing new collectible shoes –often via social media– and jokers like my otherwise intelligent son jump through basketball hoops to get them.

The Aunt Pearls were going on sale on a Thursday at 6pm and Jacob had a basketball playoff game at the same time. Instead of giving up, he somehow enlisted one of his minions (that’s me) to jockey for him.

He wrote down a list of detailed instructions. He set a timer so I would be on the computer at least 10 minutes before 6pm. He opened his Nike account and entered all the payment and shipping information so none of that would slow me down. He was so worked up, I actually got nervous about whether I could pull off buying this spectacular pair of shoes.

At 5:55pm I was at the computer, trolling Nike’s Twitter feed, waiting for the announcement with the link to buy the shoes. I did everything I was supposed to do and then I waited…..and waited….and waited.

buying Nike sneakers on carpool candy.com

Anxiously staring at the screen reminded me of the old days when I’d wait on hold forever, trying to get concert tickets by phone. Although a pink swoosh stamped on leather sneakers did not seem nearly as motivating as a magical night hearing Bruce belt out “Jungleland.”

But something about the experience was amusing, and I was kind of proud of Jacob’s tenacity. But alas, after about 20 minutes of staring, we got this screen….

buying Nike sneakers on carpool candy.com

And just like that, the dream of Aunt Pearl was gone.

Now Jacob is regularly cruising eBay, negotiating shoe trades for unusual designs. He swears the shoes he’s buying have never been worn, but he’s sold some of his old shoes to fools looking for discontinued styles.

It’s good you can only see merchandise online. If prospective buyers could smell his used shoes, he wouldn’t make a dime.

Do your kids have a crazy retail obsession? Commiserate in the comments.

The best laid plans: when parenting spoils a good time

Wilson and I were invited to two cocktail parties Saturday night, and were looking forward to seeing friends at the adults-only affairs. We got all gussied up (40 minutes for me, 5 for him) and hit the town.

ACHIEVE dinners invitation on carpool candy.com

The night was full of promise

We’re at the point now where we can skip a sitter if we stay local and our 14-year-old, Jacob, watches his brothers, Aden 10, and Eli, 8. The downside is they never get to bed at a decent hour and the house is a mess, the upside is it’s free.

Eli had a sleepover party so if Jacob wanted to hang with his friends at home or elsewhere, the plan was that Aden would be ok to stay alone for the evening.

But as we all know, mom plans and the universe laughs.

Eli came home from school Friday with a temperature and a sore throat. When we took him to the doctor Saturday he had strep throat and laid on the couch all day. Plan B had bitter Jacob staying home with no friends, playing nursemaid to his brother. Part of that job was giving Eli his liquid antibiotic before bed.

I was one and a half glasses into a Sauvignon Blanc, having a lovely conversation about  music with friends when we got the first call. Jacob could not get the medicine bottle open. Apparently child-proof tops only work when you wish they wouldn’t.

We tried to verbally explain how to get the thing open but after a few minutes, Wilson hopped in the car and drove 5 minutes to the house to open it for him.

He was back in a jiffy and we chatted some more before leaving for our next stop. In my old age, I find wine makes me tired if I sip it all night so I switched to a special vodka party punch that was so tasty I downed two glasses in an hour. I wasn’t driving so what the hell, right?

We checked in with the boys around 10pm. Eli and Aden were in bed and Jacob was watching basketball. We could finally relax. The parties were filled with people we love, the catered food was yummy and the candlelit homes were beautiful. It was turning out to be a stellar night.

Then the second call came in around 11pm.

It was Jacob saying Aden had woken up with stomach pains and puked all over his rug. Wilson could hear Aden in the background pleading with us to come home.

kids bathroom on carpool candy.com

The scene of the crime

I was munching on a mini cupcake when Wilson yelled at me from across the room with his serious face that we had to go immediately because Aden threw up. Wilson is very mature and take-charge in these situations.

My first thought should have been, “Oh no, my baby’s sick!” but instead it was “Damn, I’m having a good time and I don’t want to go home!”

It was probably the cocktails talking.

Wilson had car keys in hand and was glaring at me from the front door. I was still in shock and went to get my coat and purse. A few people asked why we were leaving so early (it’s not like us) and I told them about the puke. My friend Mike wondered why we both had to go home to help. One of us should be able to stay and have fun, he said.

For about 3 seconds I thought about tossing down my coat and staying, but a ball of guilt was gnawing at my insides and I knew it wouldn’t be worth it. Like a petulant child, I pouted all the way home.

But once we got there, any resentment or regret was pushed aside by my sympathy for Aden– who was doubled over in the bathroom– and the helpless look on Jacob’s face.

I was where I needed to be.

Wilson and I worked as a special ops team for the next 3 hours, taking turns between soothing encouragement in the bathroom, cleaning up the mess in the bedroom, and rubbing Aden’s back as he lay in bed waiting for the next bout of nausea to overcome him. He was heaving every 20 minutes or so until about 2am.

I had to slip out of my cocktail dress and heels so I could get on hands and knees to rid his room of the smell of puke, which is like kryptonite for Wilson. (I highly recommend rose-water from the GNC to neutralize odors after you clean up.)

rose water on carpool candy.com

Our savior

One extra special moment was when we had to shoo our puppy, Brady, away from going to town on Aden’s spew.

At about 1230am, Eli woke up moaning and crying. He was congested and hot and his throat hurt. I left Aden’s side to lay with Eli and rub his back to try to get him to sleep.

At this point, all that vodka punch and the kids’ wailing was starting to give me a headache. I needed sleep. Somewhere around 315am, Eli’s kicking and sniffling woke me up again and I crept from his room into my bed. When I looked at the clock in my room, it read 415am.

What a perfect night to lose an hour of sleep for daylight savings.

Everyone woke up feeling much better the next day. Brady even let us sleep late before barking to come out of his crate. The events of the night truly felt like a dream in the bright morning light.

As I picked up my dress in a heap on the floor and smelled the rose-water from Aden’s room I smiled. We had survived another sucky night of parenting.

Take that, universe.

Records broken, pizza ordered at 2014 Oscars

Oh Oscar. How I love thou.

If you’re looking for whining about how long the show drags on or the silly amount of attention paid to celebrities and fashion, read some Hollywood hater blog. Here at Carpool Candy we celebrate the Academy Awards!

oscar statues

This year’s Oscar fashions had very little drama. The theme seemed to be neutral-toned sheath dresses with subtle beading.  Here are the highlights…. 

Who stood out from the crowd:

Kate Hudson had my favorite look of the night.  First off, her body is to die for and never looked better than in that sleek, white, fitted satiny dress with a sexy low-cut neckline, caped shoulders and long train. Sun-kissed and glam….like a classic Hollywood starlet. Perfection.

Angelina Jolie— It’s so boring to put her on a best dressed list but she really earned it. Her sophisticated sexy, Elie Saab metallic dress with illusion windows hung on her beautifully.

Cate Blanchett— Not sure if I loved the Armani dress or hated it. From far away it looked like a holiday art project my 1st grader might bring home, but on stage it hugged her in all the right places and the details of the beading against the illusion nude shape worked on her. Her dangling earrings were fabulous.

Jessica Biel–  Her Chanel strapless sheath dress with silver beading and long, flawy tresses showed off her gorgeous body and hair. Her stylist gets an A+.

Sandra Bullock looked very regal in a navy strapless McQueen dress with gorgeous curled Rita Hayworth hair. Classy.

Kerry Washington and Olivia Wilde-– These two pregnant gals are in my top 3 fashion winners. Loved Washington’s flowy purple satin Grecian goddess number with dark lipstick and long loose hair. Wilde barely showed her baby bump in a long, flattering black dress, a messy up-do and funky earrings. Oscar brought out their glow.

Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/Jason Merritt/Getty Images

It was the night of white tuxes for the men. Ryan Seacrest, Jared Leto, and Matthew McConaughey were among those going with a classic white jacket and dark tie. Very original Brat Pack, very debonair. I also liked Will Smith’s twist on black tie with an open shirt and grey scarf thingy that looked cool, sexy and modern.

Who could have tried harder: 

No one embarrassed themselves and no stylists will be looking for a job tomorrow. but there were a few duds.  I expected more from….

Lupita Nyoong’o-– I’ll probably be the only one to say this but fashion darling Nyoong’ has wowed on every red carpet this year. It was a pretty dress–I loved the baby blue color and the diamond headband in her hair, but the low cut halter didn’t flatter her. It accentuated her chest and arms, looking severe and masculine.

Lady Gaga- MEH. She got the memo on neutral frocks and paired the ho-hum dress with dowdy up-do and pasty makeup.  I appreciate her reverence for the Oscars but where was the wow?

Ellen DeGeneres— Her black tux jackets were shiny and sparkly in a Vegas kind of way that didn’t suit her (see what I did there?) and the long tied bow blouse channeled a pilgrim. She made up for it when she changed mid-show into a white tuxedo suit with sparkly sneakers that made her steel blue eyes pop and seemed more her speed.

For more on fashion click here.

The show: 

Wilson and I LOL-ed several times at Ellen’s monologue. Her easy confidence and command of the room set the prefect tone for the night. Her bits between awards were clever and funny, offering consolation prizes to losers (Bradley Cooper got lotto tickets) and ordering pizza for hungry stars (Jared Leto and Harrison Ford ate a slice.) Her humor is original, positive and quirky. I loved it and so did the sometimes hard-to-win over audience.

86th_Academy_Awards_poster

Her finest moment was probably getting a bunch of A-list stars together for a giant selfie on live TV.  She said she was looking to break a record for most retweeted photo but she was also commenting on our present self-obsessed and social-media-dependent culture. The huge worldwide response briefly stalled Twitter.

oscars selfie

According to Time magazine, the post broke the retweet record surpassing a million retweets in less than an hour. (Previously, Barack Obama’s election night photo of him hugging Michelle got retweeted more than 778,000 times.) At last count, the tweet was reposted over 2,280,450 times. 

It’s always great when something unexpected happens. Like when the long-time singer Darlene Love broke into soulful song when accepting the award for the feature documentary “20 Feet from Stardom” and received a standing ovation. She took her moment and ran with it.

Bill Murray sneaking in a plug for old pal Harold Ramis while giving the best cinematography award was a sweet and goofy moment.

Most of the acting awards were expected but best speeches go to Jared Leto for best supporting actor in “Dallas Buyers Club,”  Cate Blanchett for best actress in “Blue Jasmine,” and Lupita Nyoong’o for “12 Years a Slave.”  

Leto spoke eloquently and lovingly about his mother, and also spoke to those fighting for freedom in Ukraine and Venezuela, and paid tribute to AIDS victims, and the gay community.

Blanchett was gracious in her thank yous but made sure to point out that movies with women as lead characters are not only important and liked by audiences, they also make money. You go sister.

Nyoong’o closed her thoughtful, touching speech by saying when she looked down at the golden man, she saw proof that no matter where you’re from (she’s from Kenya,) “your dreams are valid.” Am I the only sap who cried?

Musical highlights:  Bono led U2 in a powerful acoustic performance of “Ordinary Love” from the movie “Mandela “that had the crowd on its feet by the end.  Let the iTunes downloads commence!

Pharrell singing his hit “Happy” from “Dispicable Me 2″ was fun. I’m not sure how he does it, but he makes an Adidas sweat jacket, red metallic high tops and his trademark mounty hat look cool. And he got Meryl Streep and Lupita Nyoong’o boogying in the aisles.

The most awkward moments included painfully hair-plugged John Travolta butchered actress/singer Idina Menzel’s name before she sang the nominated song from “Frozen.” ….and when actress Kim Novak (from Hitchcock’s “Vertigo“)– once a Hollywood ingenue–  got a lot of bad attention for her pulled face. Poor old gal looked like Jack Nicholson as the Joker. (Best comment I saw on Twitter : “Frozen wins. The movie, not Kim Novak’s face.)

I did some due diligence before the show and it was tough to predict who would win best picture because there were so many nominated movies (9) and the race was tight.

oscar movies 2014

But the glitterati consensus forecasted a race between Alfonso Cuaron’s 3-D spectacle “Gravity,” Steve McQueen’s historical odyssey “12 Years a Slave” and David O. Russell’s corruption comedy “American Hustle.

Mexican filmmaker Cuaron won for best director, and became the first Latino winner in the category. When “12 Years a Slave” won best picture, it was the first time a film directed by a black filmmaker (Brit Steve McQueen) took the academy’s top honor.

One fact I found noteworthy was the lack of diversity among Academy members. Most of the group’s 6,000 members are older white men, according to an AP report. A 2012 study by The LA Times found that Oscar voters are almost 94 percent white and 77 percent male. African Americans, the Times found, make up about 2 percent of the academy, and Latinos are less than 2 percent.

The median age of Oscar voters is 62! That’s a lot of white geezers deciding which Hollywood careers will be made and broken.  We need more women and minorities in the Hollywood elite to make more movies we want to see. 

What were your favorite Oscar moments? Tell me in the comments.

That awkward moment when you don’t know her name

The other day I walked into the nail salon in my town and was greeted with enthusiastic grins and salutations. As I sat down to get a manicure and catch up on People, I chitchatted with the lovely woman holding my hands in hers. We spoke about our kids and the abundance of customers that day, and all I kept thinking was “What the hell is her name?”

I’ve been frequenting that salon since I moved here nearly 12 years ago. They’ve seen me pregnant, in work clothes, and in yoga pants with no makeup. I’ve visited them on the eve of many special occasions: vacations, parties, weddings, bar mitzvahs, and shared the details when I returned.

I’m too frazzled to make a regular appointment so I just take whomever I get when I walk in. I know all of their faces, but very few of their names.

I know their stories too. There’s the lady who recently had a baby, another who took a trip back home, and one whose son just graduated. Sometimes they wear name tags and I can cheat, but their names never stick in my head long enough to give me the confidence to say them out loud.

It’s a two-way street. I’ve brought my 8-year-old, Eli, in there since he was an infant. He’s my outgoing, flirty son so they all adore him and only refer to me as “Eli’s mom.” For 8 years, I walk in the door and they say “Hi Eli’s mom!” I’ve tried to tell them my name but they never remember it either.

It’s too late to go back, no? I can’t now introduce myself 12 years later, can I?

hellomynameis graphic

It’s not just the nail salon. My 14-year-old has been on the same sports teams for years. I’ve sat in the stands with the other players’ parents for scores of games but I could not tell you half of their names, nor could they tell you mine.

It’s mortifying.

We greet each other with smiles and comment on how the siblings have grown or the crazy weather. We cheer for each other’s kids. But darned if I couldn’t shout at them to come down for dinner. I’ve tried to match the emails with the faces, but everyone has different last names these days so it’s not a foolproof system.

There are many people in my daily life whose names I could not spit out, even if I had a gun to my head: the guy at the local fish store, people at work who sit two pods down, parents at school,  fellow sweaty yogis….you get the picture.

I’ve asked many of them their names in the past but in my old age, could not conjure it up the next time I saw them and felt sheepish asking again. Then you exchange a smile and a nod for a while, until enough time passes that it becomes uncomfortable to admit you have no earthly idea what they’re called.

Is there a proper etiquette for this dilemma?

I swear I’m a friendly, sociable person who tries to use manners whenever possible. I’m an extrovert who seeks out interaction with friends and strangers. I look people in the eye when I speak to them and remember their stories.

It’s just the names that elude me.

And then I get embarrassed and feel like a dope. And then more time passes. And then it’s just weird.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could have a national “this is my name day” where every able person on the planet wore name tags for a day? I’d keep a notebook handy and promise to memorize them for keeps.

Until then, I shall remain… nameless.

I got my sexy on at the Justin Timberlake concert

Justin Timberlake concert tshirts on carpoolcandy.com

We did not shell out $45 for a t-shirt.

My friend, Alicia, and I had tickets to see JT last Wednesday at MSG in New York. I’d never seen him perform in person and was probably more excited than I should have been for a 40-something mom of three.

I actually stressed about what to wear. I too carefully chose black jeans, a new shirt, boots, and lots of jewelry. I’m not sure who I was trying to impress. Ok, it was Justin. I actually caught myself thinking about what I would want to be wearing if I was hanging out with the pop star, instead of standing very, very far away from him in a dark stadium with 20,000 other screaming girls.

As soon as I got to Manhattan, Alicia emailed me to say that Justin was sick and had postponed the concert until Friday night.

When I got back to Penn at around 8pm Wednesday night to go home, there were dozens of girls standing around MSG in various states of shock and grief. Some were spewing obscenity-laced rants, others were crying. I somehow was able to hold myself together in the face of tragedy.

Friday night we geared up again for the show. Tickets say it starts at 8pm but he didn’t go on until 9pm. Our seats were ok, not great. We were up in the nosebleeds but close to the stage on his right side. We paid $166 each to see him this close.

Justin Timberlake concert MSG NYC on carpoolcandy.com

But the way the show is designed, every section of the venue gets a little piece of Justin at some point. The stage is simple– no crazy sets or props– with split levels for him, his dancers, and his band, the Tennessee Kids. The backdrop is a giant video screen playing mostly black and white photos.

JT came out in a debonair white jacket tux, cut perfectly to his frame. He sang most of his hits — old and new– and glided along the stage looking as cool and classic as Clooney, moving as smoothly and skillfully as Michael.

After apologizing for missing Wednesday’s cancellation, he told the audience, “I love you New York. I can’t give you some half-ass shit tonight!”

He didn’t.

Justin’s one of the most compelling performers I’ve ever seen. He’s insanely talented, and seems authentic in everything he does. He’s working it, but he’s laughing and having fun. He moves with such ease, you can’t take your eyes off him. The numbers didn’t seem choreographed down to the minute. He jumped in and out of moves with his dancers, and they all seemed to riff singing and dancing throughout the show.

He played for over an hour before taking a 10 minute intermission. When he returned after the break, he was singing on one of the levels of the stage– a long bridge-like platform– when it began to rise high above the audience, and proceeded to slowly travel over the crowd from the stage up front to the back of the stadium.

Justin Timberlake MSG concert NYC on carpoolcandy.com

As it moved, Justin danced and strolled from one side to the other so he could wave and shake hands with fans all along the way.

Justin Timberlake MSG concert NYC on carpoolcandy.com

There were no bars on this platform so one false move and he could have been a Timberlake pancake.

Justin Timberlake MSG concert NYC on carpoolcandy.com

There were many highlights. He wooed us with New York, New York with extra swagger. The energy in the stadium was electric during Sexy back and Mirrors, but I also loved his acoustic, slowed-down version of What Goes Around Comes Around, and the fun cover of Elvis’ Heartbreak Hotel.  

Justin Timberlake MSG concert NYC on carpoolcandy.com

He strummed a guitar and tickled the ivories with equal flair, and made me hear pop radio songs with new ears by giving them texture.  I can’t tell you how many times listening to the sultry lyrics of Future Sex Love Sounds blaring in my iPod has gotten me through a long run.

I’m not gonna lie, hearing it live made me tingly.

I guess I’m gushing but I can’t help it. JT puts on a great show and we were all a little lovestoned. (Click here for crappy quality video of TKO taken on my iPhone!)

Alicia and I were completely amused by the 20-somethings smoking pot and pounding beers around us. One hilarious guy clearly came with his girlfriend and started out skeptical. But after just a few songs we heard him say to his male buddy, “I’m as straight as an arrow, but he’s pushing me into the gay center!!”

Amen, brother.

Top 7 best yoga words

This is a post about yoga. Yogis will appreciate it, but I’m hoping those of you who just don’t get the yoga thing read it too. Maybe it will help you understand why we devotees keep rolling out our mats. Or maybe it will reinforce all the stuff you already think about us peace-loving body benders. Open your mind to a place of acceptance!

Yoga stick figure graphic

One of the things I love most about yoga is that you can do it anywhere, and expect certain constants. I’ve down-dogged on a beach in Puerto Rico, a barn in Martha’s Vineyard, and a strip mall in California, and teachers often use the same words and phrases to lead the class.

Enjoyment of yoga is extremely dependent on the teacher and how he/she communicates. Some may lead a rigorous, challenging class but don’t give enough cues to help students grow in their poses. Others talk too much, which can be distracting. In my experience, the best teachers are those who talk just enough to keep my mind focused, and in the present, and my practice growing.

Here are some of my favorite yoga words that motivate me in even the toughest poses:

Practice-– I love the acceptance you feel inside a yoga studio. Of all the exercise regimens I’ve tried– and there are many– it’s the least competitive, and you are mostly competing with yourself more than the yogi next to you. Teachers will say “if handstand is in your practice, go for it”…which means you have a few minutes to “practice” standing on your head, but there’s no expectation of achievement or perfection. You do the best you can. Even the most experienced yogis are always “practicing.”

Intention-– Often at the beginning of class, a teacher will ask you to set an intention. It’s a moment to focus on something you want to achieve that hour, that day, this lifetime…something like patience, acceptance, or stillness. It’s also a way to dedicate the work you do in class to people who need positive energy, if they’re sick or having a tough time. If I don’t have an obvious person or concept to think about, I may dedicate my practice to one of my kids. Then a few times during class, the teacher will remind you to return to your intention, either to refocus your mind, or give you strength in a challenging pose. Thinking about one of my kids has gotten me to push harder in a core-killing boat pose more than a trainer yelling at me ever would. And I like having a reason to think about something outside of myself.

Breathe— I swear we could solve world peace if people would just remember to breathe. It’s so simple, and so misunderstood. Yoga has taught me to breathe deeply, and slowly, to let go of the the tension in my body and the noise in my head.

yoga graphic photo

Invite— This is one of those words that teachers use in many ways but it always makes me giggle inside. Sometimes it’s “Invite your breathe into the pose,” to ease up when you’re clenching. Or inviting a muscle to twist or extend itself beyond your comfort level. Should I knock on the door of my thigh muscle to ask if it wants to come over and play with my femur bone? Or maybe my breath needs an engraved invitation to reach deep into the places in my body that hurt most. I invite you to think about it.

Notice— Teachers will often ask you to notice how you’re breathing, or notice how your muscles feel in a challenging pose, or– my favorite– to notice the effects of your practice when you’re resting at the end. There aren’t enough opportunities in our busy lives to stop and notice things, especially how we’re feeling. It’s permission to check in with yourself.

Shine— As in “let your heart shine forward” when opening your chest for lifting poses like cobra, up-dog, or lunges.  It’s also used to encourage you to let your inner light shine through, despite all the twisting and stretching that might be making your limbs feel like they’re on fire. I like words that sound happy and positive when I’m up against pain and suffering. 

Svasana-– Is there another form of exercise that enourages you to rest at the end for at least 5 minutes? Svasana is the customary down time at the end of class where you lie on your back with arms and legs spread out, close your eyes, and breathe deeply. Sometimes it’s the only quiet time I get all day.

So there you have it. Yoga words to live by. Did I lose you nonbelievers? I’m inviting all skeptics to take a deep breath, and set an intention to open your minds a crack to make room for the possibility that practicing yoga could be worth a try. Everyone needs a little svasana now and then.

You know you’re in Key West when….

Key West beauty shot on carpool candy.com

Hello from sunny Florida! Sorry I’ve been out of commission for a bit but I’m on vacation and couldn’t get my act together to blog. It took several days just to de-ice after all the crappy Northeast weather.

We’re in West Palm Beach now, staying with my mother and step-father, but just returned from Key West where Wilson’s dad and step-mother live. We’ve made the trek down to the Keys for many years and love it so much, it’s difficult to leave.

I’ll blog in more detail about it soon but for now wanted to give you an idea of  why Key West is one of the most unique towns in the U.S. It’s surrounded by water and the spectacular Gulf views and water sports are a draw for tourists from around the world. The food is amazing and the people watching can keep you entertained for hours, especially if aided by a local beer or Key Lime colada.

There’s no place like Key West and here are some reasons why.

You know you’re in Key West when…

Key West chickens on street on carpool candy.com

Traffic stops for chickens. Everywhere you turn, there are roosters and chickens trotting down the street. Often crowing loudly, they gather on front lawns, crowd sidewalks, and frequent local restaurants, completely unimpressed by the presence of humans. My kids loved watching them crossing the street. I was always relieved when they actually got to the other side.

You ask for seconds of raw oysters. The local seafood is terrific in the Keys, because it’s so fresh. It’s not uncommon to eat fish caught only hours before your dinner. I usually find oysters– even from some of the finest New York restaurants– slimy and fishy. But the icy cold ones Wilson ordered at the Half Shell Raw Bar were delectable.

Key West oysters on carpool candy.com

All gone!

Crowds of rubberneckers in Hawaiian shirts choke the sidewalks. Key West is a big cruise ship destination so you can always tell when a ship has recently docked and the main drag, Duval Street, is inundated with tourists clicking cameras, buying t-shirts and ordering umbrella cocktails.

It’s only 7pm but people are already plastered. My kids got an interesting life lesson from walking around at night. It took them a while to realize the extremely loud 20-somethings dancing on street corners and yelling out electric car taxi windows were wasted. There’s a bar every 20 feet in Key West and happy hour starts at brunch. Once my boys did get the picture, they thought it was hilarious and started to pick out their favorite drunks. What a delightful game.

Key West Key Lime pie on carpool candy.com

Key Lime Pie is on every dessert menu. You can’t believe how many ways you can infuse Key Lime into sweets. We had the afore-mentioned Key Lime colada, and also a tangy glazed Key Lime donut, candy, and cookies. There are also a range of beauty and house products featuring Key Limes.

Everything stops when the sun sets. Much like a big 10 college town during football season, instead of the big game, people plan their activities around the sunset. Key West is the southern most point of the U.S. so when the sun sinks slowly into the Gulf, spreading pink and orange streaks across the sky, you don’t want to miss it.  There’s something really nice about the moment when everyone (from tourists to locals, kids to the elderly) stops what they’re doing to take in nature’s wonder.

Key West sunset on carpool candy.com

You slow down. When we checked into our hotel, I bombarded the desk clerk with questions until he paused and said, “I’ll get to that. This isn’t New Jersey. You’re on Key West time now.” Your food takes longer to get to the table, but you linger over a meal. People shuffle down the street and pause on the corners to chat and look around. The town is up all night and sleeps in when the sun rises. The locals speak slowly. It takes a while for a wound up Yankee like me to decelerate but it feels right when I do.

Unfortunately I’ll be back up North next week, all tense and stressed again. See you then!