Category Archives: Joys of Parenting

Sandy post script (and photos!)

KIds enjoyed candles & flashlights for a few days

This is my last Sandy post, I swear. For the past several days, many people have suggested I write another post about the aftermath.

It was a unique experience for me because I’ve worked in news all my adult life and have covered dozens of major storms. I was familiar with weather devastation– especially when covering Katrina, when I had to handle food, shelter, transportation, and gas for our crews while doing live shots every half hour for weeks.  While everyone else gets back to normal, storm victims are left in often rough condition and cut off from the world.

This time, I was cut off. We had no power for a week, no TV or internet for 10 days, and with roads and trains blocked and gas lines long, we didn’t venture out of our little town. My lame Blackberry allowed me to view email but connection to the web was sketchy at best and wasted too much precious juice. I was moved by snippets of stories on Twitter– a woman in Staten island who lost her kids when her car flooded, basements on the Jersey Shore filled with sand, and Rockaway rescue workers who helped neighbors even when their own homes were destroyed.

Downed tree only a few houses away from ours

Check out how tall this tree was in our ‘hood

But I saw no photos, viewed no “20/20” news wraps. I heard Bruce led a star-studded concert to help Sandy victims. Normally that would have been appointment TV for me, but I never saw a clip.

Common post-Sandy sight: plugging into generators

I’m not asking for sympathy. Please save that for the thousands of people still without power despite freezing and snowy weather conditions in the last week. Or offer it to those who have lost their homes and personal possessions and have to choose between the daunting task of rebuilding or finding a new place to live while they piece their lives back together.

Our NJ town lost some very old, huge trees

There are many post-Sandy inconveniences that still aren’t resolved. Commuting has become the focus of many North Jerseyites who were spoiled by direct train service to Manhattan. For the last 2 weeks, many (including Wilson) worked from home or (like me) left at 530am to avoid traffic driving  into the city. Bus routes were unreliable and often required long waits.  I don’t know anyone whose commute was less than 2 hours each way. I got stuck in traffic for two accidents at the Lincoln Tunnel Monday that made me almost 4 hours late for work! There are email chains, Twitter feeds, and endless conversations with both friends and strangers touting transportation trauma and tricks.

Cleaned out fridge/freezer.

I was at a party this weekend where many men were sporting beards because they didn’t bother shaving for two weeks in the dark cold. Women complained about the “Sandy 7” which everyone seemed to gain after days of indulgence. Who can stay on a diet when ice cream is melting in your freezer? Many couldn’t resist munching snacks all day when there was little else to do. The wine every night didn’t help either.

Wilson’s post Sandy beard

But as I said in my last posts, we also had some fun nights with family and friends. Many spontaneous candle lit evenings would never have happened in the real world but post-storm conditions gave everyone the luxury of unstructured time.

Lots of time playing board games in jammies

HAD to eat all the ice cream when power went out!

In many ways, the last two weeks has felt like a dream or a movie. It was all so unbelievable and unfamiliar, and you had to just get through it. It’s hard to comprehend that in the midst of all this, we elected a new president. We didn’t have cable on election night and I had to get up at 5a the next day so I barely watched the returns.

My experience as a storm victim has taught me and my family several things. There’s been a lot of talk at our dinner table about gratitude. I still marvel every time I turn my closet light on or use the microwave like I’m some kind of transplanted time traveler.  I’m grateful every morning when I brush my teeth and every surface in my bathroom isn’t icy.

Surviving Sandy made us all older and wiser (and colder and wider!) and gave us an appreciation for our families and our community. It’s an experience that will stay with us and hopefully taught my kids that although it was an uncertain and uncomfortable situation, we were the lucky ones.

Kid Lingo Explained

One of the things I love about being a parent is listening to how my kids’ language develops. A minute ago my boys (ages 6, 9, and 12)  were saying “ga ga, goo goo” and now they’re speaking in complicated sentences, with some impressive vocabulary. But there are times as they get older when their jargon becomes difficult to understand again, because they’re speaking in code.

My 12-year-old son, Jacob,  often uses abbreviations to say what’s on his mind, sometimes leaving me feeling confused and old. I made a point to jot down some of the phrases he and his friends uttered in recent months and thought you might benefit from some translations.

obvi –  “obvious,” as in duh, Mom!

totes – as in “totally.” But don’t make the mistake I did and try to use it as an adjective. No, no. You can’t say something is “totes cute.” This apparently makes no sense and will elicit an immediate eye roll. You can say “totes” in response to a statement or question, as in “do you love my shoes?” or “was your mom mad?” Please note the distinction.

BTDubbs – My good friend Katie Mackay (who is my 13-year-old female insider on all things cool)  divulged this little gem. It’s actually the opposite of an abbreviation as it requires more texted letters than the old-school “BTW” but it’s the preferred way to say “by the way” in teenland.

OMJizzle – similar to BTDubbs, this expression takes OMG to a new level, and adds some street cred. It’s hard to explain but according to several urban dictionary/wikivocab internet sites, -izzle is a slang suffix used to form hip-hop-sounding words, popularized by rapper Snoop Dogg. It also tends to make whatever word it’s added to more legit.  For shizzle.  

Cray –  Jacob uses this a lot. It means “crazy” but he uses it so liberally and loosely you’d think he spent his life in an asylum.

Shitake mushrooms! – this is a clever way for kids to swear without getting penalized. It’s often used as an expression of frustration or anger.  I like it so much, I’d like to start using it myself to cover up my foul language in front of my 6 and 9 year olds, who already know too much.

Gas – This is a tough one to understand. Apparently, it’s a verb for telling lies…or also can be used as a response when you think someone is exaggerating. For instance: “He gassed that story.”  Or,  the proper response to a kid telling you he ate 50 hotdogs in the eating contest? “Gas!” and a shaking head.

Do you feel cooler now or more perplexed than ever? I find these expressions and abbreviations hilarious and would love to hear any you’ve picked up from your kids– at any age.

Please tell me in the comments, kk? It’ll be sooo cray dudes. Totes!

Scenes of Summer 2012…Please Don’t Go

Summer is my favorite season. I love the weather –even heat and humidity– the activities, the beach, our annual vacation, even the fruit is best in summer.  But, I wouldn’t appreciate summer if it lasted all year, so it’s time to say goodbye.

Here are some visual highlights of my summer. Maybe you’ll recognize some from yours too. Enjoy!

Neighborhood lemonade stand made $15 for local library

Aden pitching. Go Cougars!

Anticipation

Oooing & aaahing over fireworks on July 4th

A day’s work at the beach

We ate lots of ice cream

Eli chilling at the pool

Lobster at Moby’s Atlantic Highlands, NJ

Wilson braves the rain for a well cooked burger

I’ll miss this most!
Lambert’s Cove, Martha’s Vineyard

You know, fall’s not so bad either. Crisp air, changing leaves, new school supplies, football….. What’s your favorite season and why? Tell me in the comments!

Joys of Parenting: It’s the Little Things

Some days your kids disappoint/frustrate/infuriate you and bring out your worst self. Other days they bring home this:

by Eli, age 6.

In case you needed translation (I did):

I love my Mommy because:

She helps me.

She takes care of me.

She makes me dinner.

She carries me.

She loves me back.

I was an English major in college but this is the most beautiful poem I’ve ever read. It now lives in my kitchen and when I look at it, I’m reminded of why we do what we do and why every last bit is worth it.

Enjoy your kids today.

Life’s a Beach

Today was one of those days where I had a choice and I picked the right one.

Between attending dozens of my kids’ baseball games and my new part-time job, I haven’t had much down time in weeks.  Today was the first day in a while I planned to catch up on errands, phone calls, emails, and blogging. I was all set to get to it when a friend called to ask if I wanted to go to the beach.

I could have been responsible and stayed home to get my work done and my house organized….or I could swim in the ocean. We hadn’t been to the beach all summer. I packed the cooler and towels and 12-year-old Jacob and I headed to Seabright, New Jersey.

It was a perfect day.

First I dug my feet in the sand.

Then I watched our boys play football and frolic in the water as the sun warmed my back and a gentle, warm breeze ruffled my magazine.

After several contented hours, we watched the sun sink slowly and decided we needed a seafood spread. We love Moby’s Deck in the Atlantic Highlands, where you eat at picnic tables overlooking the water and the fish is fresh and the beer is cold.  This is what I ate:

After dinner, we completed the idyllic day with homemade ice cream from Napoli Boys  in Belford. I highly recommend the black raspberry. I had a cone and Jacob had a flurry.

Sure, I stayed up late posting this blog and my to-do list is teeming, but I have no regrets. Swimming in the ocean peels years off and makes me feel like a squealing kid again. The sun and sea air nourished my soul. Conversation with good friends and seeing Jacob happy with his pals brought me joy.

The kids have a new expression (or maybe it’s old but new to me): YOLO, meaning “you only live once.”  Today was a YOLO kind of day.

What’s stopping you from taking a YOLO day? Take one before summer evaporates into fall.  What would you do? Who would you take? Tell me in the comments and then make it happen!

Mom on Strike

My friend Sandy wrote an amazing musical called “Rated P for Parenthood,” which debuted at the South Orange, New Jersey Performing Arts Center and then ran off-Broadway. It was a hilarious and touching look at raising kids from birth to college, starring talented actors who made me laugh and cry all four times I saw it. It may be touring sometime soon so if you get a chance, do yourself a favor and check it out!

While Sandy was working on and promoting the show she started a blog on the “Rated P” website which she is still writing.  I was a guest blogger this week and wrote about how I went on strike to get my kids to do their house chores. Please have a look here.

And let me know in the comments if you’ve had any success with getting your kids to help out around the house. It’s an ongoing issue so I can use all the advice I can get!

The Tadpole: Easiest Family Pet

If your kids are begging you for a pet and you’re not ready, or you want to test their responsibility with an animal, a tadpole is one of the easiest pets you can get.

Last June, my 8-year-old son, Aden, asked if he could bring home one of the tadpoles from his classroom tank. I told him no, knowing he would lose interest in a matter of days and I would be stuck caring for the squirmy thing.  I’m not sure if he tuned me out or overruled me completely but imagine my surprise when he exuberantly exited the bus on the last day of school with a tadpole swimming frantically around in a plastic bag.

Although I was annoyed, there was no turning back so I accepted our new amphibian and headed for the pet store. Apparently, there are two kinds of tadpoles: some turn into frogs, and others remain tadpoles forever.  Nine months later, I‘m guessing we got the kind that never becomes a frog, or this little guy is taking his sweet time.

Aden named him/her (we’re not sure which) Caroline and “she” lives in a small plastic tank on our kitchen windowsill.  The pet storeowner told us she would need something in the tank if she turned into a frog, so she could climb on and breath above the open air. We had an old plastic shark from a departed goldfish’s tank so that’s all the diversion Caroline enjoys, besides watching us humans rush around.

While I resented her presence a bit in the beginning– because I am the only one that cares for her—I’ve now come to love that easy tadpole.  She is certainly the most appreciative and low maintenance creature in our house.  I try to feed her fish food flakes every other day, but when I forget for days, she doesn’t complain.  I attempt to clean her tank twice a month but sometimes I’ll look over and she’s swimming through green goop like it’s no big deal. The kids love watching her grow and change, and even if she never becomes a frog, the anticipation is a draw.

She ain’t pretty. She has a froglike face but never lost her long tail and has these tiny, deformed looking feet that don’t seem to serve any purpose. But we love her just the same.

At least once a week I am convinced she’s dead because she can float so still for hours, but she’s a survivor. There was an email chain going around among the parents in Aden’s class throughout the summer with detailed updates on the development of each tadpole as they turned into frogs. But by the end of the summer, the emails stopped and it seems almost every one of the other tadpoles had not made it to September.

The pet storeowner told me to only fill her tank with bottled water at room temperature because there was something in the tap water that wasn’t good for tadpoles.  Perhaps the other owners didn’t get that tip. But I’d like to believe our Caroline is special.

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Caroline the tadpole

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Caroline loves her fish food

Next time your child wants a pet, be a hero and say yes to an easy tadpole. Your kid will thank you and then you can thank me.