Category Archives: Modern Life

Birthday Wishes on Facebook Are Lame!

Posted on August 17, 2012 | 10 comments

May I vent for a moment? (What’s a blog for if not to vent.)

Social media is a useful tool and I’ve reconnected with many friends (and random people I don’t care about) on Facebook. But I’ve had it with the Facebook birthday wishes.

Back in the day, when you wanted to wish a friend good tidings on his/her birthday you had to buy a card and/or make a phone call.

Now all you have to do is sign on to Facebook and move an eyeball to the right corner of the page and your computer will spoon-feed you the birthdays of all your “friends.”

I started thinking about the unspoken hierarchy of ways to offer birthday wishes and came up with this:

—Personal visit  (Rare but special and may or may not involve gift-giving.)

—Phone call (Personal and requires time, effort and thought.)

—Mailing a card  ( You thought about your friend ahead of time and like him/her enough to do an extra errand to buy a card and a stamp.)

—Sending an email  (You didn’t think ahead but did remember on your own and want to send a personal message tailored to the receiver.)

—Sending an e-card   (For last-minute-Charlie’s who forgot to send a card but want to acknowledge you. At least they took the time to join Blue Mountain and pick those cute cartoon dancing animals. )

—Posting on Facebook wall  (For any schmo you’ve known since grammar school, or worked with 5 years ago, or see at your kids’ school events, who has a finger to click a mouse.)

Facebook birthday wishes take no thought at all. In fact, most Facebook wishes probably happen because that person was already on Facebook inappropriately flirting with an ex, posting flattering self-portraits, or promoting something (I plead guilty to that) and saw the birthday reminder on the home screen and deemed you worthy of a shout out.

As a policy, I don’t wish people happy birthday on Facebook because I don’t want to be one among scores of people piling on, and I prefer to send my salutations in a more personal way.

For those of you who want to hollah at me on my special day, I beg you to send me an email or give me a call. Don’t wish me a happy birthday on Facebook and think that if it’s followed by three exclamation points instead of one, I’ll know you really care.

Plus then I’ll have to send a big , fake “Thank you! I feel the love!” to all the slackers who contributed to the birthday comments. I hate that.

The best gift you could get me (but not til next April) would be to comment on my blog. Then I’ll know you care enough to read the very best.

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Posted in Modern Life, Pop Culture Trends, Social Media

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New Dictionary Words: The F-Bomb Finally Gets Respect

Posted on August 15, 2012 | 1 comment

The good people who produce Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary have added 100 new words and expressions to their tome this week.

One of the best parts of writing is finding the perfect word for what I want to say. Doesn’t always happen, but I love the thrill of the hunt.

Many of the notable additions to our modern vocabulary are phrases now so commonly used, they warrant a spot in the most popular English dictionary. For 114 years, Webster’s has been studying words and how we use them. There are actual word detectives who do exhaustive research for years on where words start and how often they’re used in media, conversation, even on food labels.

Here are some of my favorite phrases of Webster’s 2012 edition. You may be surprised at the years they originated:

bucket list n (2006): Once it’s a movie starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman it’s gotta get a place in the dictionary.

cloud computing n (2006): The Geek Squad must be thrilled about this one.

earworm n (1802) : a song or melody that keeps repeating in one’s mind. This is a new one to me but I love it! Made popular by Stephen King when he wrote about waking up in the night with a song in his head that just wouldn’t leave.

energy drink n (1904): Can’t believe it took so long to make this one official. My kids have been guzzling Gatorade– claiming it gives them energy– for years.

e-reader n (1999):  I would not have believed an e-reader was possible in 1999 but now everyone I know has one.

life coach n (1986): Life coaches everywhere are breathing deeply and making a conscious decision to feel good about their now legitimized profession.

f-bomb n (1988): Apparently New York Mets catcher Gary Carter mentioned this delightful idiom in an interview in the 80’s but recent political discourse had also established the term, with Dick Cheney dropping an “F-bomb” on the Senate floor in 2004. Classy.

aha moment– n (1939): Sorry Oprah, you didn’t coin this phrase but I’ll give you credit for making it mainstream.

flexitarian n (1998): one whose normally meatless diet occasionally includes meat or fish…In other words, a picky eater with a built-in excuse.

man cave n (1992): Interior designers everywhere are collectively shuddering that the term has an official definition.

sexting n (2007):  The term’s only 5 years old, yet look how far it’s come and how much damage it’s caused.

tipping point n (1959): Thanks Malcolm Gladwell!

underwater adj (1672)  The definition for this new usage: having, relating to, or being a mortgage loan for which more is owed than the property securing the loan is worth. Sad reality of our present financial frailty.

brain cramp n (1982): What does this mean again?
Any words you think should be added next year? Tell me in the comments.

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Putting my Shopping Skills to Good Use

Posted on August 5, 2012 | 1 comment

Although it would have been a perfect day to hit the beach, I was happy to spend the morning in a crowded room full of eager and generous adults and exuberant children, as a volunteer at the NCJW Back 2 School Store in New Jersey.

The Back 2 School Store in Northern NJ

I wrote a column for AOL’s Patch.com on this terrific event back in 2010, explaining what happens on this special day every August. Rather than repeat myself, you can check it out here.

Now in its 4th year, the Store is run like a well-oiled machine, despite the organizational complexities of planning and executing the event. This year, the NCJW serviced more than 500 children. There are 300+  volunteers to coordinate and scores of jobs to assign, but I’ve rarely seen an army of helpers as excited and hungry to help.

It’s because the energy of the children is infectious. They’re so thrilled when they see the tables teeming with colorful backpacks, clothes, and supplies. They love admiring themselves in the mirror in their new outfits. I helped one 5 year-old boy today who loved his new sneakers so much he wore them out of the store, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

The three kids I led around the Store were so grateful for everything they received. It reminded me of how little it takes sometimes to make a child happy. I’ll take 500 smiling kids over the beach any day.

If you want more info on all the great work NCJW does, check out their website at http://www.ncjwessex.org/.

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More Home to Work Transition Tales

Posted on July 26, 2012 | 8 comments

An update on my transition back to work…..

If you’re looking for a quick way to deflate any ego you’ve built in adulthood, I highly recommend starting a new job. Five years ago, I was leading a team of writers and producers on breaking stories and major news events. Today I fear picking up the office phone because I won’t know how to help the caller.

The first few days were fine. I wore a dress and heels, met some nice people and got the lay of the land in the office.  Then it was time to get serious and figure out what I’m supposed to do.  I was assigned to work with various 20-somethings who clicked a mouse so fast my eyes got blurry.

I observed and took copious, disorganized notes, trying to keep up with the how-to’s. Since I’m only a freelancer I don’t have a dedicated desk.  I spent several painstaking hours on the phone with the IT department setting up my computer with logins, passwords, shortcuts, and programs, only to be kicked out of my desk by a staffer on the afternoon shift.

This job requires working on 5 separate computer programs simultaneously. Besides logging into Windows and getting Outlook mail, I need a news gathering program, content management system, online chat room with separate portals for video and writing assignments, and various websites for grabbing photos and video.

Dizzy yet?  I am.

I persevered through low moments when, feeling like a useless dunce, I wondered why I had temporarily given up my wonderful life of kid whining, dishwasher unloading, and laundry for this.

Everyone has a job to do so it’s been difficult to get someone to sit with me for more than 10 minutes to go through procedures and ask questions. I’m constantly  torn between wanting to stop and learn, and letting a colleague complete a task because I understand news has to get out quickly. For several days I felt like my coworkers were feeding me, instead of teaching me how to fish.

Note to self: proper employee training is a lost art. Everyone is in too much of a hurry.

Another problem is my innate fear of computers.  I am old enough to remember time before the internet, email, and texting. I’ve used computers since I started working in the 1990’s but they’ve never been my friends. When I hit a stumbling block in the process of creating a story for the web, I freeze. I’m anxious about what to do next and worry that I’ll delete my work or damage the system. These kids training me don’t know life without a computer so their brazen problem solving is more intuitive.

I often spend the night before work tossing and turning, cursing my mistakes and fretting that my co-workers think I’m an idiot. In the office I’m trying to work independently so I don’t have to bother busy colleagues.  I clutch my notebook and rifle through the pages, trying to remember my 8 passwords and piece together procedures.

I only work two non-consecutive days a week so it’s been difficult to find my groove. But I’m adapting. The last day I worked was the best yet. I completed a bunch of stories and worked on a slide show. My pace is woefully  s   l   o   w,  but it’s already getting easier.

I’m sure in 6 weeks I’ll  look back and laugh at what a ball of nerves and incompetence I was. Right now, it’s still raw and not yet funny.

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Posted in Modern Life, Working Mom Adventures

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Stay at Home to Work Transition: From Carpools to Cubicles

Posted on July 18, 2012 | 13 comments

I started a part-time job last week as an editor at a news website. I’ve been interviewing for a while so I was lucky to find a gig in this sagging market and an opportunity to learn new skills.

While I‘ve been freelance writing from home for the last 3 years, the last time I set foot in an office, Bush 43 was president,  Michael Jackson was singing, and Bernie Madoff was still living on Park Avenue. It’s definitely been tough adapting to a corporate setting after nearly 5 years in the safe haven of my house.

All my boys (ages 6, 9, and 12) are finally in a full day of school and most weeks this summer they’re in camp so it’s the right time for me to dip my toe back into the working world and figure out what I want to do when I grow up some more.

For the last several years I’ve been a stay-at-home mom trying to keep my journalism/writing career going in my down time.  My priority was managing our family and the house so I fit in work commitments  around carpools, homework, groceries, and bedtime tuck-ins.

I’m ready to focus on work again but. …it’s an adjustment.

Ego Issues:

Challenge:  It’s always difficult to start fresh. I hate feeling inept and out of control in a new situation. I’m also taking a significant pay cut and a step down compared to my last management position.

Bonus: Less responsibility means less stress and although I’m eager to get up to speed and take on more, after several years out of the office, it’s nice to ease back in and find my way slowly.

Time Management

Challenge: Instead of coordinating schedules and tasks the night before at home, I have to look at my calendar for days, even weeks in advance to make sure I plan all the pickups, drop-offs, meals, and equipment before I leave for the office.

Bonus:  Once I get on that train, there’s nothing I can do about it so it’ll be what it will be.

Learning Curve:

Challenge: Although my news background still helps, I’ve changed fields from TV to online production and the tools are completely new. My first day I had a delightful 27-year-old training me and she clicked around so fast I felt like grandma learning to text. There must be 20 steps to getting a story online.

Bonus:   I’m learning new skills that will help me stay relevant in this ever-changing media world.  And I get to live vicariously through the life of a modern 20-something working gal in New York—and still get to go home to Wilson and my kids.

Commute:

Challenge:  I don’t hate my one-hour door-to-door commute—it’s a brief and pleasant train ride and one subway—but I resent the time suck.  It’s two hours I could be with my kids or tackling my to-do list.  Plus, the trains are unpredictable. On my first day, there were half-hour delays and some trains were diverted to another station.

Bonus:  On the train, there’s time to decompress, read, and chat with commuting friends uninterrupted.

Wardrobe:

Challenge: Need to keep up with young fashionista media types who live in Manhattan and spend half their salaries on shoes and handbags.

Bonus:  No more yoga pants and tank tops.  For two days a week I get to dress like a lady and have a legitimate excuse to shop.

I’ve already suffered through several frustrating days and there will be more to come before I feel comfortable with the technical aspects of the job and understand all my responsibilities. My coworkers seem nice and helpful and I’m jazzed by the energy of a newsroom again.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress. I anticipate at least a few mortifying stories– spilled coffee on the boss, missed deadline, accidentally publishing my to-do list on the World page, etc—in the coming months. Please share any home-to-work transitions you’ve experienced in the comments. I’d love to hear about your new employment escapades!

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Playroom Cleanup Blues

Posted on March 13, 2012 | Comments Off on Playroom Cleanup Blues

How long will our playroom stay organized?

I spent more than seven hours this weekend cleaning out my kids’ playroom. It’s a thankless task.  When it was over, I felt like I had completed a marathon: exhausted, sweaty, dirty, and a little bitter that no one else cared about finishing as much as I did.

I only do the playroom cleanup purge about twice a year because I know the energy and time required.  I’m like an anthropologist, digging through the Matchbox cars, puzzle pieces, action figures, and art supplies that once had a home, but somehow migrated into overflowing baskets of chaos.

There is a great sense of satisfaction in throwing things away and gathering usable toys and games to donate. But I always have a twinge of sadness at the symbolism. Seeing the stuffed Mickey Mouse and giant fire truck puzzle being carted away for some other toddler boy reminds me that my kids are growing up.

Was it all the dust from the emptied shelves or nostalgia causing that welling in my eyes? Nothing I can do about it, so I focus on the order I made. I take my kids on a tour of the new and improved room, explaining where things go after they play with them. Yet we all know that I’ll be right back there in six months when the clutter returns, singing the playroom cleanup blues.

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